


Was it More than Attraction and a Physical Lust

by juiceboxknox



Category: Naruto
Genre: Adult Content, Adultery, Alternate Universe - Boy Band, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Rock Band, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Brotherly Love, Childhood Friends, Childhood Memories, Childhood Trauma, Consensual Underage Sex, Drama & Romance, F/F, Family Feels, Fluid Sexuality, Friends to Lovers, Friendship/Love, Gay Sex, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Love Triangles, M/M, Multi, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Psychological Drama, Queer Character, Sex Drugs and Rock and Roll, Sleeping Together, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-05
Updated: 2019-07-28
Packaged: 2020-02-26 10:51:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 14
Words: 64,346
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18715564
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/juiceboxknox/pseuds/juiceboxknox
Summary: AU world in which Uzumaki Naruto is a wild feral animal. Orphaned and growing up neglected and abused in the foster care system. He was taken in by the Uchiha's at the age of 5 after they realized the abuse he was enduring. Naruto grew an unhealthy obsession and attraction towards Itachi which caused Itachi to move out of the home. Naruto had inherited money at the age of 17 and moved into his own apartment. Only, something happened "a few months ago". Sasuke found out Naruto had moved in with Itachi and is unclear on their current relationship.AU world in which Uchiha Sasuke is totally well adjusted and comes from a close supportive family. He's the Valedictorian. The class president. A piano prodigy. He has a secret. He's in love with Naruto. During a week when Naruto invited Sasuke to stay with him when Itachi was out to the city. They hook up. Sasuke wants a relationship. Naruto just wants sex. Sasuke had his whole future in front of him but would throw it all away for Naruto. Very dark themes clashing with innocence.Ch 1-14 ages 5-17Ch 15- ages 21-22





	1. Just Another Brick in the Wall

#  **Just Another Brick in the Wall**

 

Uzumaki Naruto was a feral child, and today was his first day at his new school. For being only five and a half years old his school file was extremely thick and detailed the damaged child in chronological order from birth to now. 

He was more animal than human child. His language was severely delayed and what came out was busted english. The adults suspected a form of autism. Something stemming from birth certainly not from long-term neglect and abuse at the hands of his foster families. 

He acted as if he was being raised completely isolated from humanity and then brought in a few hours every day to school for socialization. It was as if some kind of sick psychological study was being conducted by old white men in white lab coats on the effects of isolation on children. 

Naruto possessed all the qualities of a rightful beast. 

He ate his food with his fingers. Refused to touch any utensils that were placed in front of him. He preferred to crawl around on all fours. During recess played by himself. For communication he pointed and smiled, or growled and hissed. He growled and swatted at the other children if they got too close. He bent his fingers into claws and hissed until they ran away screaming. The other children were frightened of his beastly characteristics and stayed their distance. The teachers whispered that maybe the boy was possessed. They gave up on Naruto and often left him to his own devices. 

His clothes were ill-fitted. Too large t-shirts sagged off his thin shoulders. All his pants were old, faded, and had holes with scuff marks on the knees. His sandals were second-hand and velcroed around his ankles. He was filthy. Dirt clumped on his neck, arms, and face. His hair equally dirty and unwashed. He had an aversion to soap and water. He even threw a fit when the teachers tried to help him wash his hands after using the bathroom. Screaming as if the water scalded his skin. 

Actually it was a miracle that he was even potty-trained. Underlined twice in his academic record were the words ‘He is potty trained!!’ 

Naruto’s behavior was a result of being on his thirteenth foster home. He was a truly unlovable child. That was what Naruto came to believe in his short life. He didn’t know many things, and only knew some things. He didn’t know when his birthday was. He never had a birthday party or any sort of celebration. He didn’t know how old he was. Maybe he was five or six. He didn’t know the alphabet. He got muddled in the ‘LMNOP’ section. He didn’t know the numbers past ten. He knew some colors, but struggled between distinguishing ‘blue’ and ‘purple’. 

He did have a secret. 

He knew how to talk. He just didn’t want to talk. Nothing good came from him talking. So he stopped. He knew he didn’t like his new foster family. He’d been with them for three weeks before they even bothered to enroll him in school. He especially didn’t like the foster father. 

Last night after he refused to use a fork the foster father half-dragged and half-carried him to the dog kennel. Naruto was shoved into the crate and it was locked. He screamed at Naruto if he wanted to act like an animal he was going to be treated like an animal. Naruto growled and snarled back as a response. He’d rather be a beast than a child. It wasn’t too bad. The dog slept next to Naruto, in front of the crate door, and his fur felt soothing against his fingers. Naruto had an affinity for all animals. They flocked to him sensing he was good. Sensing he was one of them. An ally who treated them kindly and didn’t hurt them. 

This was his third school in eight months. It was no different to Naruto. They were all the same and he would act all the same. Naruto stood in front of the classroom and was introduced by the substitute teacher.

"Class this is Uzumaki Naruto he'll be joining you as of today." 

He became frightened. The sea of faces morphed into monsters. Red-eyed, two horned, monsters. He imagined the monsters becoming elongated, stomachs distended, with nails that grew and dragged on the floor. Their mouths opened and revealed rotting, stinking, black teeth. He felt the blood drain from his face and leave him cold. His skin covered in goosebumps. He began shivering. He didn’t say anything. His mind went blank. Went white. 

It was half-day Kindergarten and Naruto was enrolled in the afternoon session. When school was dismissed children swarmed Naruto out in the school yard. The children were asking questions. Lightening fast. It was overwhelming. It caused him to feel dizzy and light headed. 

“Where did you move from?”

"Where do you live?" 

“Why are you wearing those clothes?”

“You’re smelly when was the last time you took a bath?”

“Why do you have whiskers on your face? Are you some sort of cat-boy?”

Naruto growled and swatted his arms around yelling with all his might, “Go away!” 

The children were taken aback and grew quiet. They watched as Naruto continued growling and hissing. He sounded like an injured animal backed into a corner. He dropped to all fours. They watched in fascination. His fingers pantomiming claws and he scratched at the children closest to him. His nails caught a few children on the skin of their legs, and he broke skin. He drew blood. The children screamed out in fright, rather than pain, and ran from him. 

The children didn’t know how to react and they backed away frightened by his beastly behaviors. They never saw such a thing before. They clustered together in groups of 2-3 and moved away whispering to each other. It worked. Naruto smiled triumphantly once the children were gone and he was alone. He stood up on his two feet once he assessed the threat was gone. 

“That wasn’t nice. They were just asking questions. You didn’t have to act like that. You better apologize to them.” 

An authoritarian voice filtered from behind. Naruto turned around expecting to see an adult but he didn’t. It was another child. Same height maybe even taller. Dark hair. Snow-white skin. Dark almond eyes. The air around him was different. It felt like he was an adult even though he looked like a child. He stared at him with disapproval. Naruto narrowed his eyes at the intruder and lunged at him with a snarl. 

He attacked when he felt threatened. He moved on instinct. 

Naruto attempted to tackle the other boy. It didn’t work. The other boy had quicker reflexes. His demeanor was calm and unfazed compared to Naruto’s deranged and unhinged behaviors. He already had his countermove planned out and executed it perfectly. Naruto was flipped upside down and landed on his back. His eyes stared up at the sky with marshmallow clouds. The breath knocked out of him. 

“I won’t let you be mean to my friends. So you better apologize to Sakura and Ino for scratching them.”

The boy lectured as he popped his head over Naruto. He continued to stare down at him disapprovingly. Naruto stared up at the boy in awe. He was the first one to stand up to Naruto and didn’t run away screaming. 

“Sasuke! Are you ready to go home?” 

Naruto pushed himself up gasping for breath. Air re-entered his lungs. His attention turned to the older child who had entered the school yard. He looked identical to the smaller child. The same facial features. The same dark hair. The same dark, almond, eyes. The older boy, dressed in a school uniform, walked up to them. Naruto assumed they were related. Maybe siblings. He couldn’t be sure. 

“Hi Itachi. I’m ready. I was just making sure he apologized for being mean to my friends.” 

Sasuke explained indignantly and pointed accusingly down at Naruto. In response Naruto attempted to bite Sasuke’s finger. The other boy retracted his hand quickly and jumped back.

The expression changed when Itachi looked upon Naruto. Turning from innocent curiosity to to a somber sadness. It softened and he smiled at Naruto. He crouched down so they were at eye level. Naruto glared at the intruder trying to sense if he was good or bad. He wasn’t sure. The air around him was calm. 

“Hi my name is Itachi and this is my brother Sasuke. It’s very nice to meet another classmate of my brothers. What’s your name?”

Naruto didn’t answer. Kept quiet. Kept staring. It didn’t seem to phase Itachi and he continued to smile. 

“Do you want to walk home with us?” 

Naruto turned his attention to Sasuke and the boy continued to look down on him, arms folded across his chest. It caused his face to flush and he stood up abruptly. He screamed NO before running away.

*****

Naruto’s beastly behaviors didn’t improve.

He refused to sit in his chair during lessons. Often wandering out of his seat and to the back of the class. Today he wanted to play in the back with the toys. He didn't have any toys at home, well, at least toys he was allowed to play with. The substitute teacher had enough of Naruto's free will, and began screaming at him to return to his seat. He was crouched down and reaching for a toy. He purposefully and willfully ignored the request and grabbed hold of the toy. The other children turned in their seats and witnessed the exchange. They were use to the disruptions. Naruto growled in response. It was a warning before he attacked the teacher. 

"Drop that toy and get your ass back to your seat!" 

"NO!" Naruto screamed back defiantly and tightened his death-grip on the toy. He'd rather the teacher pry the toy from his cold dead hands. 

The substitute grabbed hold of Naruto’s forearm and jerked him up. She was still an adult and infinitely stronger than a skinny five year old. She was going to assert her power over him and make him listen. Naruto contorted his body around, dropped to the floor, dispersed his weight, and relaxed his muscles. He went from weighting forty pounds to weighing close to eighty pounds. He glared up at the teacher with a fierce defiance. Both hands grabbed Naruto's bicep. It only caused the grip to tighten, long nails punctured his flesh breaking skin. She jerked the blonde violently like a rag dog. She wanted to cause pain to him. Pain would make him listen and obey. 

“Hey...let go of him you’re hurting him!” 

Sasuke said as he stood up and ran to the teacher. It had been a few weeks since Naruto joined their class and he witnessed the teacher berate Naruto on a daily basis. Naruto wasn't bothering anyone if he sat in the back of the classroom during lessons. Sasuke sensed the boy was actually paying attention and absorbed the information like a sponge. More importantly Naruto was their classmate and he was fiercely protective over his classmates. He wasn't going to let anyone hurt them or be mean to them.

“Get back to your seat!”

“Let go of him you jerk you’re hurting him!” 

The substitute continued to jerk and drag Naruto even more violently. Being defied by two students sent her over the edge and she took it out on Naruto. Blaming him. A loud, disgusting, popping noise was heard. Sasuke winced. Naruto’s shoulder dislocated. His arm twisted and contorted in a unnatural way. The substitute teacher cried out in shock and let Naruto go. His body went limp and slumped to the floor in a heap. Face down. Several children cried out in fright and stood up out of their desks. Sasuke immediately dropped to his knees besides Naruto asking him if he was okay. Naruto continued to lay there silently as the burning pain exploded in his shoulder and sent jolts of pain up and down his arm. It was a familiar feeling. It wasn't the first time his shoulder was dislocated. It didn't bother him none. The toy was still clutched in his hand. To Naruto it felt like another victory.

***** 

It was summer vacation and Naruto wandered aimlessly on the streets. He was a top notch alley cat.

He was collecting bottles and cans. He saw an old woman returning bottles to the store and in exchange she received money. It gave Naruto the idea. Alleyways were a goldmine of discarded bottles and cans. Today he was an alley cat doing alley cat things. Naruto was digging in a trash can. One hand held tightly to a clear trash bag filled with bottles and cans, and the other searched through raw garbage. It didn’t bother him none. A voice called down the alleyway to him. He looked up and raised his eyebrows. 

“Oh! I thought you looked familiar. Remember me? I’m Sasuke’s older brother, Itachi.” 

The older boy was smiling. Naruto stared back. Mouth in a thin line. His expression serious. Wordless. Once Naruto sensed he wasn’t a threat he turned away, back to the task at hand, ignoring him. Itachi laughed nervously at the response. 

“Whatcha doing?” 

Naruto didn’t answer and kept ignoring the older boy. But he kept hoovering. Didn't leave like he was supposed to. Even when Naruto slammed the trash can lid back down, and jumped off the box he was standing on, and left. The boy followed him. Naruto shot him a reproachful look from over his shoulder. Itachi continued to smile at him, he was unfazed, and it didn’t stop him from following. 

“Where are you going with all those bottles? Need any help?” 

It continued this way even though Naruto ignored him. Itachi walked alongside Naruto as he journeyed down alleyway after alleyway. Itachi even joined Naruto in his search for bottles and cans. Until the bag that Naruto held tightly filled to the brim. 

“Look! I found more!” 

Itachi beamed as he ran up to Naruto and revealed three cans. Naruto nodded his head approvingly. He held the bag out. Itachi laughed and placed the cans into the bag. He was beginning to feel accepted by the wild boy. Naruto examined the trash bag and nodded his head. It was enough. Naruto dragged the trash bag full of cans behind him and walked to the store. 

The store owner quirked an eyebrow. He looked down at Naruto as he held the trash bag full of bottle and can returns a look of disgust curled his lip. Naruto was filthy, and brought with him the smell of raw sewage. He looked even more wild now that it was summer vacation and he didn’t have to go to school. The store owner looked like he was about to scream at him to get out when Itachi stepped in. Naruto glared back bracing for the fall out. It didn't happen. 

“We’re here to return these, sir! Please accept them.” 

Itachi bowed at the waist. A sign of respect. The owner’s face seemed to soften at the sight of Itachi. His entire demeanor changed. Naruto watched the interaction with curiosity. He didn’t do anything different. Just kept standing there with his arm outstretched. 

“Uchiha Itachi! I didn’t see you there! Well of course! Let me see that bag.” 

Naruto walked out of the store with $2.80 in his pocket. He felt proud. Itachi continued to stick close to him and walked alongside him. Naruto peeked up at Itachi and raised his eyebrows. He was still following him. Did he expect to get some of the money for helping? Naruto shook his head. He never wanted his help. 

“What are you going to use the money for?” 

Itachi asked as they walked through the entrance of the park. Naruto didn’t answer. He walked towards the swings. He wasn’t going to buy anything with this boy sticking close to him. He didn’t want to share. 

“Ah! It’s so hot out today! How can you stand it? I’m all sweaty.” 

Naruto watched as Itachi sat down on a swing. The other boy exhaled loudly, grabbed hold of the collar of his shirt and began fanning himself with the material. Naruto looked up at the sky. There wasn’t a cloud in sight. The air was hot and humid. Heavy and thick and made breathing difficult. Even with the setting sun it didn’t offer any reprieve from the blistering temperatures. A layer of sweat coated Naruto's skin and he was suddenly aware at how dry his mouth became. His tongue felt like sandpaper. 

Naruto watched the beads of sweat roll down the other boy’s face. He shifted his weight from one foot to the other foot nervously. He turned around and began to walk away. 

“Wait up! Where are you going?”

Naruto spun around and held his hand out. His fingers spread out and his actions instantly caused Itachi to halt. It was as if Naruto had manifested a super power. 

“Wait here,” Naruto spoke fiercely. 

His voice commanded authority. It was clear and articulate and the sudden request caused Itachi to remain rooted in place. He watched as the blonde spun around and walk away. Itachi sat back down on the swing and waited. Something told Itachi that Naruto was going to return. 

Naruto returned and Itachi perked up. The boy was holding something in each hand. He walked carefully his eyes focusing on what was in his hands. As he walked closer Itachi noticed what he was holding so delicately. He stood in front of Itachi and held out a large, purple, popsicle. Itachi’s face broke out into a smile and he graciously accepted the popsicle. Naruto sat on the swing next to Itachi and began to lick his own orange popsicle. 

“Thank you so much for the popsicle!” 

Naruto watched Itachi from the corner of his eye. He studied him. But didn’t say anything else just nodded his head once in response.

*****

“Hi! It’s so good to see you again. How are you doing?” Itachi’s voice boomed. A familiar face poked its head from behind Itachi and looked down. It was Sasuke.

Naruto was playing in the sandbox at the park and looked up. He had kicked his sandals off and was rolling around aimlessly in the sand. His fingers and toes buried underneath the warm sand. They felt cool and protected from the sun rays. Sasuke and Naruto caught each other’s gaze and both held it. They were absorbed in a wordless battle. Whoever broke eye contact first lost. 

Itachi’s eyes than began searching the park. It was filled with parents and children. Whatever he was searching for he didn’t find and his mouth turned into a flat line. Naruto straightened up and sat cross legged. He continued to stare at Sasuke who stared back unblinking. 

“I’m dropping Sasuke off at his piano lessons do you want to come with us?”

Sasuke was the first to break eye contact and he snapped his head to look at his older brother. A smug smile spread Naruto’s lips and he wiggled his shoulders in silent victory. 

“Why are you inviting him? You don’t know him!” 

“I do. He’s my friend. We even spent the day together. Didn’t we?” 

“When?”

“The other day. You wanted to stay at home so I went for a walk by myself.” 

“He’s my classmate not yours!”

“And he’s my friend.” 

Naruto watched the exchange of the siblings. Naruto had a good idea of who Sasuke was. He was a fierce protector of his classmates. Even if he didn’t like them much. He had a sense of justice and order. He knew right from wrong. He was clever, calm, and careful. The complete opposite of Naruto. He was the classroom’s moral compass. A leader and everyone followed the leader. All in all he had admiral qualities. Naruto sensed this boy was good and he felt ease in his presence. 

Itachi turned his attention back to Naruto waiting for an answer. Naruto shook his head no. He didn't want to be friends with anyone. He was a lone wolf. 

“Okay. If you’re still here when I come back from dropping him off let’s play together.”

Naruto turned away and ignored the siblings and continued to roll around in the sandbox.

*****

“Is he dead?”

“No...he’s just sleeping.”

“But he hasn’t moved in a really long time. I think we should wake him up. The sun is setting.”

“Let’s give him five more minutes, and then we’ll wake him up.”

“Okay.”

Naruto was awake before he opened his eyes. When he did open his eyes he saw Sasuke and Itachi staring down at him. They filled his field of vision. He had fallen asleep under a large oak tree in the park. That was all he remembered. The day was lazy and warm and perfect nap weather. Naruto yawned and rubbed the sleep from his eyes before staring pensively back at the siblings. 

“Why are you sleeping here?” Sasuke asked. Naruto didn’t answer. His body swayed with remnants of sleep. 

“It’s getting late. Do you want us to walk you home?” Itachi asked. Naruto shook his head no. He didn't want to go home.

"He doesn't want to go home," Sasuke explained. He sensed it. Sensed what the other boy was feeling. Naruto's eyes widened. 

Naruto’s stomach growled loudly and interrupted the conversation. Oh. He remembered. He took a nap because he was hungry. When he slept he didn’t have to feel his growling, hungry, stomach. It was hot outside. He felt weak. Felt tired. Felt hungry. He was in a sour mood. And he didn't want to go home. He was pressing his luck by staying out longer and longer each night. Until maybe one day he didn't have to go home at all and could just live at the park. 

“Want to come home and have dinner with us?” Itachi asked. Naruto shook his head no again.

“Come on! My mom really wants to meet you!” Itachi continued. 

“NO!” Naruto screamed. 

Sasuke’s eyes widened and he looked to gauge Itachi’s reaction. His brother’s smile didn’t falter and he began laughing. Naruto blinked. They didn’t run screaming or leave him alone. They continued to sit besides him. He felt like lashing out even more, but the wildness inside him was subdued. The beast within lulled to sleep by a lullaby. 

“You’re just cranky because you’re hungry. Come on. Let’s go. Our mom is waiting,” Sasuke said in a matter-of-fact voice. The siblings stood up. It was clear to Naruto they weren't going to allow him to refuse. Naruto shrugged his shoulders and pushed himself into a standing position.

*****

“You better not be mean to my mom! You can be mean to Itachi all you want, but don't be mean to my mom! Got it?” Sasuke warned as Naruto followed him into the brownstone townhouse.

“Mom! We’re back!” Itachi called out loudly from the foyer. 

“You have to take your shoes off,” Sasuke commanded as he pointed towards Naruto’s sandals. Naruto shook his head no. He was purposefully and willfully being stubborn and difficult. 

“But you have to!” 

“Welcome back Sasuke! Itachi!” the older woman greeted brightly. 

Naruto turned and looked up at the woman. She was the mother. Long, black, silky hair. Large, warm, black irises. She was beautiful and Naruto was spellbound. She looked like a princess from a fairy tale. When her eyes fell to Naruto her hands clasped to her mouth in shock, and her eyes began to water.

“Is that…” She began and Itachi nodded his head yes. Sasuke furrowed his eyebrows clearly not understanding their reaction. 

“Yes. That’s Uzumaki Naruto. He’s Kushina and Minato’s son.” 

Tears began streaming down her face. Naruto’s eyes widened and he shifted his gaze to Itachi who stood besides him and smiled down at him. She made moves to hug Naruto but it caused the boy to scream out. He jerked his body backwards and hid behind Sasuke. Both hands outstretched as if to ward her off. She stopped and looked back to Itachi and he shook his head no. She retreated.

“He doesn’t want to be touched!” Sasuke interjected. Once again he became protective over his classmate. Reading and internalizing how Naruto felt instantly. 

“It’s just...it’s just so good to finally see you again Naruto! You don’t know how happy I am! Come in...come in...dinner is almost ready. Make yourself at home.”

Although she was as pretty as a princess Naruto didn’t trust adults. He couldn’t read their expressions. They were wiley and deceitful. And they all ended up hurting Naruto. Monsters dressed up in human flesh. They were smarter and stronger than him, and he had to be on guard.

*****

Naruto curled up on the couch. His sandals were still velcroed to his feet. Sasuke sat on the other side of him, and Itachi sat on the floor in front of the glass coffee table. Mikoto handed Naruto a photo album.

“Your mom was my best friend,” Mikoto explained and she flipped the pages.

There were photographs of a pregnant auburn-haired woman. Her hair was lush and long. Falling to her waist. Both hands rested on her swollen stomach and she was smiling. Besides her was Mikoto. Long black hair. She was laughing. Mikoto’s stomach was engorged and round. She was nearing the end of her pregnancy. 

“That’s your mom and me...we were pregnant at the same time. That’s you, Sasuke.” Mikoto explained as she pointed to her stomach and then pointed at Kushina’s stomach and continued, “And that’s you Naruto.” 

Naruto followed Mikoto's fingers with his eyes. 

“See you have your mother’s eyes.”

Naruto looked down unable to turn away from the woman Mikoto pointed out as his mother. Naruto had a lot of mother’s in his short life. Thirteen mothers. But she was different. She was the one who gave birth to him. He tensed up. She had soft round eyes. Blue hues that swirled with laughter and happiness. Naruto touched her face with his hand almost expecting to brush against her skin. 

Sasuke leaned over and stared at the photograph. Studying their mothers carefully. Mikoto showed them another photograph. This time two babies laying side by side in a crib. Sasuke made a face. Immediately recognizing himself as a baby. Naruto with a head full of blonde hair was screaming. His face red and angry. Besides him lay Sasuke. A patch of thick locks on his head. He was calm and stared curiously at Naruto. 

“That’s both of you...look how tiny and cute you two were!” Mikoto gushed. 

“Even as a baby you were fussy, huh?” Sasuke asked Naruto. 

Naruto ignored him and turned the page to another photograph. This time it was a photo of Mikoto holding both Naruto and Sasuke in her arms. Naruto was dressed in orange footie pajamas with a fox hood, and Sasuke dressed in green footie pajamas with a dinosaur hood. One of Sasuke’s hands wrapped itself around Naruto’s hand. They were both smiling and cooing at each other. 

“That’s one of my favorite photos,” Mikoto explained as she noticed Naruto’s growing interest. Naruto peeked at Sasuke all quick like before turning back to the photo of them. 

Mikoto flipped a few pages and came to another photograph. She took it out from under the plastic wrap and handed it to Naruto.

“This is a photo of your parents. Kushina and Minato. I want you to have it.” 

Naruto knew both his parents were dead. He felt an emptiness inside him. It was a different feeling than being hungry. Because when he was hungry and he ate that feeling went away. This feeling was different. He felt it in his heart. It ached. Naruto took the photograph and held it carefully with both hands. Kushina and Minato were holding hands. Naruto looked at the man who was his father. He had the same colored hair as him. Blonde. The same texture. Spikey. Almost identical cut. His parents looked in love. They looked happy. 

Looking at this photo hurt him even more. It was a piercing pain that ricocheted through his chest and impaled his heart. He wanted them here. He wanted them alive. He wanted a photograph of the three of them together. Naruto in the middle and holding both their hands. They would all be happy and smiling. That photograph didn’t exist. Because they were dead. Naruto knew that but it still hurt. 

He was on the verge of crying. His vision blurred as tears welled up. An overwhelming sadness enveloped him. Naruto lowered his head and his shoulders began to tremble. Naruto clutched the photo to his chest. Hugging the photo close to his heart. It was all too much and the tears spilled from his eyes. He began sobbing. 

It was Sasuke who wrapped an arm around his shoulder comfortingly. He pulled Naruto close and rested his chin on top Naruto’s head. Naruto sobbed harder. For a moment he allowed the physical contact. He allowed himself to be touched. Allowed the human contact as he experienced a very human feeling. Allowed himself to be fretted over just for a little bit. Just a little bit acted like a child instead of a beast.


	2. I'm a runaway son of the nuclear A-bomb

#  **I'm a runaway son of the nuclear A-bomb**

 

Good morning sunshine the world is saying hello. 

It was a peaceful morning. Dew still clung to the blades of grass. The birds were chirping and singing their good morning wake-up song. The sun was rising from its slumber. There were still remnants of stars twinkling low in the sky as the earth lazily rotated to face the morning sun. Businesses were opening and people were reporting orderly to their places of employment. It was a brand new day full of endless possibilities and new beginnings. 

Fuck that noise. Naruto wanted to add a little chaos. 

“DROP THAT SPRAY CAN! YOU’RE UNDER ARREST!” the police officer screamed and pointed his baton accusingly at Naruto. 

Naruto paused momentarily. In one hand the spray can held in mid air and tucked under his other was his skateboard. Naruto was wearing his signature look. Tight, ripped, black jeans fastened with a studded black belt. Worn out high top converses. A band shirt that was one size too small, and tied around his waist a long sleeved flannel. 

The officer began charging down the alleyway like a battering ram. Full intention of ramming right through Naruto and crushing him. The police officer was massive. So fat he was busting out of his police blues. Naruto smirked and dropped the spray can. He had finished tagging the wall anyways. He dropped his skateboard to the ground and hopped on. He flashed the officer a ‘catch me if you can’ expression. And the chase began. 

He was grinding down the sidewalk kicking the ground for added momentum. Pedestrians jerked their bodies out of the way and fled. They cursed and shouted at Naruto as he passed. They called him a menace. They called him a punk. They called him a degenerate. His body swayed in complete control of his movements on his skateboard. He flipped his board in mid air, and slammed the trucks back down on the ground. Doing tricks as he fled from the law. Adding insult to injury. Just showed how cocky he was. He lowered his body as he made a winding turn and straightened out again. The wind felt good as it whipped across his face, through his hair, and clothes. He felt true freedom. 

“Hey! No skateboarding allowed! Get outta here you punk ass!” A man dressed in a three piece suit screamed at Naruto. It only caused him to laugh maniacally. 

“Please eat my ass out, senpai!” Naruto answered as he circled the man on his board. 

“I-I’m calling the p-police!” the man’s voice quivered. He clutched at his leather briefcase defensively. 

Naruto tossed his head back and laughed louder. As if on cue the fat police officer began burrowing down the sidewalk towards him. He was a tenacious bastard. Naruto had to give him that. He shrugged realizing he had to leave and couldn't tease the man any longer. 

Naruto kicked at the ground again and ollied. Bringing the kicktail to the beginning of the railing before grinding down the entire railing in front of city hall. He raised both hands in an act of defiance and flipped off the renaissance inspired building that represented politics and oppression. He executed the grind perfectly and a smug smile spread his lips. He kicked at the ground and maneuvered easily through the crowd finally losing that pestering police officer. 

Naruto arrived at school rolling through the school gates with an air of superiority. He was still feeling high from his morning run. At the entrance he slammed his foot at the kicktail and the board flew up into his arm. Tucking it securely under his arm he pushed open the school doors and ducked in. Hoping he could sneak in unnoticed. He wasn’t quick enough because he came face to face with Iruka. 

“You’re late Naruto! Again. Detention after school.”

*****

“Naruto!” Sakura’s voice filtered down the corridor.

She sounded angry. He was in front of his opened locker pinning the pink detention slip to his shirt. He looked up to see her fuming. She knew what happened this morning. She was momentarily distracted by the pink slip on his shirt. Her eyes went from the pink slip back to Naruto and then back at the pink slip. 

“What’s that?”

“It’s my badge of honor.”

“It’s a detention slip.” 

“Tomato...tomahto.” 

He slammed the locker closed and began walking to his next class. 

“I know why you were late this morning.”

“My morning run took me on a detour,” Naruto answered nonchalantly and he flashed a mischievous grin. 

He threw this hands behind his head. Sakura walked alongside him. She was always playing it safe. She was excited by the lifestyle he was living but watched safely on the sidelines. Being close to him gave her a rush. As if by being close she could ensnare that adrenaline high Naruto had on a daily basis. But when he took things too far she was there to lecture him. Often taking on the voice of reason, especially if Sasuke was nowhere in sight. Sasuke and Naruto looked like they were growing apart. They spent less and less time together. It fell to her to reign Naruto back. 

“You were being chased by the police. Shikamaru told me. So what did you do this time?”

“Tagged a wall.”

“Naruto! Sasuke will be mad if he finds out.”

“Well then...let’s not tell Sasuke." 

“Let’s not tell me...what?”

It was Sasuke. He had appeared from behind. They spun around and immediately upon seeing Sasuke Naruto burst out in uncontrollable laughter. Sasuke was wearing glasses. Black-rimmed rectangular glasses. Naruto clutched his rib cage trying to stop himself from laughing. Sasuke gave him a reproachful scowl. 

“Stop it. I have to wear these. I ran out of my contact prescription.” 

“You look even more like a nerd!” Naruto howled. 

It was true. Out of the three Sasuke was the most straight-laced and studious. He dressed like an elderly man in retirement. Collared button-up shirts, sweater vests, corduroy pants, and cardigans. His mother often told him he was an old soul. He was clean, orderly and meticulous. Sakura was a close second however she had a mischievous side and experimented more with her choice of clothing and hobbies than Sasuke. 

“What’s that pinned to your shirt?” Sasuke asked indignantly. Changing topics. Naruto puffed out his chest. 

“It’s my badge of-”

“It’s a detention slip. Naruto got caught tagging another wall and was chased by the police this morning,” Sakura interrupted. Tattling on him. 

Sasuke turned his attention back to Naruto who appeared to slink away. A look of guilt on his face. The only one who was able to reign in Naruto’s wild ways was Sasuke. The only one he would listen to was Sasuke. Sakura watched their exchange. It was a wordless conversation through facial expressions. They were holding one of their infamous telepathic conversations. 

“Okay...okay! I promise. I won’t get caught next time!” Naruto relented.

“Naruto that’s not what I meant, and you know it.” Sasuke accused. 

A blonde blur infiltrated the group. She wrapped her arms around Naruto’s waist and pressed her breasts up against his chest. Yamanaka Ino was well endowed with an hourglass figure. She was the first of their classmates to hit puberty and it treated her well. She came out unscathed and on top. Reeling of sex appeal and teenage hormones. Ino pressed her lips to Naruto’s and he opened his mouth. Without hesitation they were in a full blown make out session. 

“Since when did they get back together?” 

Sakura asked Sasuke. He looked at Naruto and Ino intertwined. It felt like just yesterday when the blonde recoiled into the corner screaming his lungs out if someone even made motions of touching him. It felt wrong to watch and he averted his eyes before answering Sakura’s question.

“I don’t think they officially got back together.” 

“No PDA at school! Get to class the bell is about to ring!” a teacher lectured. 

Ino pulled away and flipped her blonde hair. Her lips were blood red. Her makeup flawlessly executed with a smokey eye and stenciled in arched eyebrows. She wore a leather jacket over a ripped white tank and a short plaid skirt that if she bent over at the right angle flashed her lace panties. Bracelets covered her wrists and chokers and necklaces wrapped around her neck. She perfectly matched Naruto’s style. They even looked good together. A punk rock barbie and ken duo. Ino was one of the most popular girls in their class and she continued to hang around Naruto. Deeming him fit enough to be seen with her. 

“Prude. Maybe if she’d got laid she’d relax,” Ino remarked as the teacher left and Naruto laughed. Ino turned her emerald eyes to Sakura. She flashed her a challenging smile. Sakura scowled back. The air between them turned cold. 

“I heard you’re starting a band with Kiba,” Ino commented to Naruto. Her fingers moved to the pink slip pinned to Naruto’s chest and her smile widened. 

“Yeah. Kiba on drums and I’ll be vocals. Looking for a bassist and guitarist. Know anyone good?” Naruto asked with ease as if they didn't just tongue fuck a minute ago. 

“You know how much I love your voice. You’d be perfect. I’ll ask around. I’ll see you later Naruto,” Ino purred and her attention flickered back to Sakura and Sasuke. She smirked and held her hand out, “Later nerds.” 

“Ugh! I can’t stand her! Naruto you need to change your taste in women!” Sakura blurted out as Ino left. The warning bell rang. Without another word she spun around and stormed away muttering to herself.

“Are you guys back together?” Sasuke asked as they walked to their next class together. 

“Nah. We’re just having fun. Besides I think she’s just trying to make someone jealous. Oh well. We’re better off friends with benefits anyways.” 

“Oh. I see.”

Naruto slid into the desk behind Sasuke just as the final bell rang. Sasuke turned around and watched Naruto take out his notebook and textbook. He didn’t look it but Naruto’s grades were above average. Sasuke told him if he put effort into his school work he’d easily be in the top ten of their class. Naruto responded with you didn’t need good grades to be an indie rock star. Naruto looked up and caught Sasuke staring at him. He flashed a mischievous smile. 

“Nice glasses.”

“Shut up. It’s just until I get my prescription filled. Hey...my mom wants you to come to dinner tonight if you’re not busy. Are you busy tonight?”

Sasuke was expecting Naruto to decline and say he was busy. He had been doing that lately. He’d apologize and say next time, or for them to plan something out for next week, but even if they did plan something Naruto was always the one to cancel last minute. Naruto was spending his time elsewhere, and with other people. He didn’t tell Sasuke what he was doing, or who he was doing it with. He felt left out. 

“Kiba’s out sick. So I’m free!”

“So...you’re coming over this afternoon?” 

“Yup! I’ll come over after I'm done with detention.”

“I have a student council meeting after school. Let’s go together.” 

“Okay!”

*****

“You’ve been spending a lot of time with Kiba recently,” Sasuke commented as they walked.

Well, Sasuke walked and Naruto glided on top his skateboard. Once he discovered the skateboard walking places seemed dull and boring. It was unnecessary. What a tedious and boring way to live. He enjoyed the world on top of four wheels. Sasuke got on Naruto’s skateboard once. He dispersed his weight unevenly and fell forwards. He sprained his wrist and refused to get back on. He liked to feel firm earth beneath his feet. Naruto flowed freely like water, and Sasuke stayed rigid like wood. 

“What are you jealous?” Naruto asked coyly. 

“No! I just didn’t know you were still on about starting a band.”

“Yeah well every time I asked you...you would shoot me down. Kiba didn’t. Plus he’s really good at the drums. He has good energy. We mesh well. I get along well with him which is unusual...you'd get along with him too.” 

“Hn.” 

“We’re going to start off as a cover band while we work together on writing songs. Our goal is to perform at the school’s talent show. First prize is $500! And we could use the money to buy better sound equipment.” 

Naruto had been wanting to start a band over the past year. It was a pipe dream. Sasuke didn’t take him seriously and dismissed him. It was something a lot of kids said on a whim. Something that a lot of kids said they wanted to do, but never followed through with, and Sasuke didn’t like wasting his time and energy. It was too much of a hassle and Sasuke kept refusing. Eventually Naruto stopped asking, and in doing so they spent less and less time together. 

“I mean...even if it’s just me and Kiba we can still do it. I can play the guitar and sing and Kiba can play the drums. We’d just be like The White Stripes. Though he’s not very good at singing. We’ve been recently practicing their 'Seven Nation Army' song...just in case it ends up just being us.” 

Sasuke watched Naruto as he spoke. He was passionate. He could hear it in his voice. His face twisted up into unwavering determination. He was working out the logistics even if it was just two members. He figured out a way. He was mesmerized as Naruto continued to speak. 

“We want it to be indie rock alternative mixed in with some glam rock. Ya know. That 80s and 90s beat. David Bowie. Billy Idol. Nirvana. Pixies. The White Stripes.”

*****

“Naruto! I missed you so much! How have you been?” Mikoto spoke as she gathered Naruto into her arms and held him.

“I’m starting a band!” Naruto answered enthusiastically. His voice exuding energy as Mikoto released him. He began taking his shoes off and placed them neatly at the entrance and leaned his skateboard up against the wall. 

“Really! I told you had a really good singing voice. Remember that video I filmed of you? Now look at you! I’m so proud. It's so good to see you!”

Sasuke had almost forgotten. Naruto rose to small fame at the age of ten when a video of him singing went viral. Naruto was dressed up in his halloween costume. He went as a rock star. He wore leather pants, a studded leather vest, a red bandana, and movie star sunglasses. He was singing Bon Jovi’s ‘You Give Love a Bad Name’. His voice was soulful, deep, raspy, and sophisticated for being only ten years old. He sang as if he was a grown man who lost his first love and it devastated his entire being. He rocked his body as he sang into his toy microphone as if a vetted professional. 

Sasuke was much too shy to join Naruto and stood on the sidelines. Mikoto filmed Naruto and uploaded it on social media. The video gained such traction that Naruto was invited to perform the song on the late night talk show. It garnished a lot of positive attention. It was a spectacle seeing children acting and presenting themselves as adults. Especially Naruto. Because he really did have a good singing voice. It was a beautiful voice. It all came naturally to him. And they loved it. 

“Ah I remember that video! Sorry...I’ve been practicing with my band a lot. We haven’t decided on a name yet, but we plan on performing at the school’s talent show. You should come and watch,” Naruto beamed. The smile never left his lips. 

“Okay! I’ll buy two tickets. I’m sure Fugaku would love to see you performing too.” 

“I’ll make sure you get VIP seating!” Naruto spoke and flashed her two peace signs. 

“It’s the school auditorium...it’s first come first serve!” Sasuke snapped sourly. 

“Don’t mind Sasuke. He just really missed you is all,” Mikoto teased. She glanced at her son whose jaw fell open and he stared bewildered at her accusations. It was true. She asked Sasuke why Naruto stopped coming around and Sasuke answered that he had been busy and spent his free time elsewhere. 

“No I didn’t. I invited him because you said to invite him.”

A coy smile spread Naruto’s lips. He was acting wiley. An idea popped into his head. He slid his body closer to Sasuke. His body rocking to a beat that was being performed inside his head. Rhythm guitar. Lead guitar. Bass guitar. Drums. 

“Darling you got to let me know. Should I stay or should I go?” Naruto began singing The Clash. His vocals perfectly matched Joe Strummer. He had taken on the personification of the lead singer from London town in the early 90s. 

“If you say that you are mine I’ll be here ‘till the end of time!” 

“Don’t do this again…” Sasuke spoke his cheeks burning red with embarrassment. Mikoto joined Naruto’s singing. He felt the same way as when Naruto began singing Bon Jovi all those years ago. His mother fed into his antics and encouraged him. Now look where it got him. 

“So you got to let me know should I stay or should I go?” 

“Yes leave! Go! I take back your invitation!” Sasuke snapped and he stormed away and into his room where he slammed the door shut. But Naruto couldn’t break the act. He was committed. He continued singing the next verse. Mikoto was clapping her hands helping Naruto keep beat and continued to provide backup vocals. He rocked his hips back and forth. 

“It’s always tease, tease, tease. You’re happy when I’m on my knees. One day it’s fine the next it’s black. So if you want me off your back. Well, come on and let me know. Should I stay or should I go.”

“You really do have a special talent, Naruto. Go on to Sasuke’s room. I’ll go and prepare dinner,” Mikoto spoke her voice genuine and encouraging.

*****

Naruto opened Sasuke’s door and peeked in. He looked at Sasuke who was sitting at his desk. Back to him. He already pulled out his homework and was diligently working on it. He smiled at the sight. He didn't expect anything else.

“Can I come in?” Naruto asked.

“Mhm.” 

Naruto swung open the door. Truth be told he was going to enter with or without his permission. He closed the door behind him. To give them privacy. He looked around his room. Everything was neat and orderly. Not a speck of dirt. Nothing was out of place. His bed was carefully made. He glanced at his dresser. Naruto didn’t have to pull the drawer open to see he still color coordinated his clothes and folded his socks and underwear to an expectation only he had. Everything was exactly the same since the last time he was here. 

“So are you going to tell me what’s wrong and why you’re being so weird to me.” 

“Oh...are you finally asking me what's wrong? We haven't hung out in like two months, and the only reason you're here is because Kiba was sick!” Sasuke countered. His back still faced Naruto. He felt hot with anger. It felt better to spill out his frustrations, because unlike Sasuke, Naruto didn't know what or how Sasuke was feeling...and Sasuke had to clearly tell him if he wanted Naruto to understand. 

He was being childish and he knew it. Naruto became Sasuke’s best friend at five years old. When Naruto moved in with them for a little while after his parents found out all the wicked and cruel things his foster family was doing to him. Spending every day and night together caused them to quickly became friends. They shared a special connection and that connection existed when they were both in their mother's wombs. 

In the beginning Sasuke took pride and pleasure knowing that Naruto stuck close to his side. Clinging to him. During the days of Naruto’s selective muteness Sasuke was the only one able to translate what he wanted and what he didn’t want. He was very intuitive and sensitive and could read Naruto as easily as reading a book. He liked monopolizing Naruto’s attention and being the only one in Naruto’s eyes. 

It became harder to accept reality as they grew older and Naruto began branching out. Naruto was still a wild child, and difficult to manage. He marched to the beat of his own drum and that often lead him down a wild path. But Naruto did listen to him and he was able to reel Naruto’s wild behavior in when it got too out of control. Only these days they spent less and less time together and the past several weeks their only communication was at school. Naruto only agreed to come today because Kiba was sick. Otherwise he would have declined. He was upset, and wanted Naruto to apologize. 

Naruto walked up to Sasuke and wrapped his arms around him from behind. Hugging him. Sasuke tensed up at first but then relaxed completely under his touch. Naruto leaned down and apologized, “I’m sorry for being such a shit friend.”

“Your shit at apologies. Don’t just say that you’re sorry you have to show me that you’re sorry.” 

“I will. Do you want me to sing you a song?”

“No.”

Naruto continued to cling to Sasuke his eyes trailing to the half completed homework assignment he was working on. He leaned his head up against Sasuke’s and began swaying side to side. Bringing Sasuke with him as he moved from right to left. He felt Sasuke calming down. 

“You sure?”

“Yes.”

“I think you want me to sing to you…” Naruto continued regaining his energy. He pulled away and spun around immediately going to the bose speakers on Sasuke’s dresser. Sasuke turned around to watch Naruto pull his phone out and pair it with the speakers. He played a song and turned around to look at Sasuke wearing an impish grin.

“We Didn’t Start the Fire?” 

Sasuke asked as the music filtered through the speakers. He knew the answer was yes. It was one of his favorite songs. He was fascinated with songs that just listed a bunch on nonsensical things. Word dissociation. Naruto nodded his head and began swaying his body to the beat of the song. He raised his arms above his head and continued dancing. Sasuke smiled and moved his body side to side matching Naruto’s rhythm. 

“Come and sing with me Sasuke. Remember when we learned the lyrics together?”

Sasuke did. He joined Naruto. Singing the song with ease. Sasuke remembered Naruto had printed off the lyrics at the library and brought it to Sasuke. They were both ten years old. They huddled side by side reading the lyrics as the song played on repeat. They didn’t stop until they had committed the song to memory and they were able to sing together along with Billy Joel. Both dancing wildly on top of Sasuke’s bed as they performed in front of a made up audience. 

Sasuke jumped up and joined Naruto on the make believe stage. They screamed at the top of their lungs, “We didn’t start the fire! It was always burning. Since the world’s been turning.” 

Naruto stopped singing, stopped dancing, and watched Sasuke. He was still singing completely absorbed in the song. Naruto looked at the keyboard and guitar in the corner of his room. He turned his attention back to Sasuke. He noticed this and instantly stopped singing, stopped dancing, and gave Naruto an expression as if to say, ‘what?’ 

“You should really join the band, Sasuke. I mean...you can sing too. You can play the keyboard and guitar. You’re totally better at the guitar than I am. I know you don’t want to...but maybe just for a little while until I can gather more members?”

Naruto was being serious. It wasn’t just a childish whim. He really wanted to form a band and perform. Sasuke knew it. Ever since Naruto was ten years old he’d been performing for people. Sasuke saw how happy he was when Naruto was invited on the late night show. It was the happiest he’d ever seen the blonde. Ever. It was as if he was born for the stage. One way or another Sasuke knew Naruto was going to end up on the stage and would be performing for twenty-thousand people at a sold out concert. He saw a glimmer of Naruto’s future and it was bright...and Sasuke...he wanted to be apart of it.

“Okay...fine. I’ll join.”


	3. Once upon a time not so long ago

#  **Once upon a time not so long ago**

 

Naruto scuffed his feet across the sidewalk as he walked down the street. It was a new moon and the stars in the milky way galaxy offered little light in the impenetrable darkness of the night. The street lamps were on but they were dim and a few flickered on and off. It left long gaps of darkness he had to pass through before he reached the safety of the next street lamp. He was hypervigilant and jumped at every sound. He didn't like the dark. Bad things happened in the dark. 

Itachi walked bedside him, and he watched the younger boy's shuffled movements, stifling a laugh. He ensured his mother he’d walk Naruto home safely. He brought a finger up and taped his lips. Sasuke was going to be livid when he woke up and realized they had left without him. When Itachi tried to wake him up Naruto shook his head 'no' and stared gravely at him. Naruto didn't have the eyes of a five year old. More like the eyes of a war veteran. It was unnerving. 

“Are you afraid of the dark?” Itachi asked bemused. 

“Not afraid!” Naruto answered and stomped his foot; glowering up at him. There was a fierceness about him. An intensity that was unrivaled. But underneath all of that Itachi knew he was only five years old. 

“Want to hold my hand?”

“No!”

“It’ll be less scary if we hold hands.” 

Itachi held his hand out and Naruto stared at it. He peeked back up at Itachi all quick like and turned away. He held his hand out and offered it as if Itachi was the one who was afraid and Naruto was the one who was going to protect him. Itachi nodded his head and grabbed Naruto’s small, frail, hand with his own. They walked hand in hand the rest of the way. Naruto kept peeking at their hands. The warmth from Itachi’s body was being passed unto Naruto and he did feel less afraid. The world around him became less scary, the street lights appeared brighter, and the shadows shrank exponentially. 

“Is this your house?”

Naruto looked at the house that loomed in front of him. He saw the house grow an anamorphic mouth. It stretched and opened up to reveal rows and rows of sharp teeth beaconing for Naruto to enter so he can be swallowed whole. He nodded his head 'yes' and pulled his hand from Itachi's. When Itachi made moves to walk Naruto through the gate the boy shook his head violently. He jumped in front of Itachi and held his hands out pushing the other boy back.

“No! I go alone!” 

Itachi gasped at his small hands pressing up against his stomach and stopped. Naruto glanced over his shoulder and back at the house. Eyebrows furrowing into apprehension. 

“Okay. Good night, Naruto. Let’s play again tomorrow.” 

Itachi spoke gently. Naruto didn’t give an answer he disappeared through the gate and vanished.

*****

Naruto sat cross legged on his bed. He was still dressed in the same clothes and his sandals were still velcroed to his feet. He wore the same clothes until his foster mother forcibly dragged him out of the filthy, holey clothes. It was summer vacation and he didn’t have to go to school so his hygiene was left unchecked and he marinated in his own filth, and sweat, and grime. It didn’t bother him none. He was used to it and acted like it was his own protective shield.

He held the photograph of his parents delicately in his hands. He was afraid if he made the wrong move it would rip. He played roughly and had a track record of breaking toys. Only sometimes it was on purpose. The other times were accidents. His eyes focused on his parents holding hands. He thought back to holding hands with Itachi. A small smile spread his lips. It didn’t last long. An explosion erupted from behind him.

The door was slammed open and the handle struck the wall with such exertion it broke through the sheet rock and the loud banging noise caused Naruto to leapt out of his skin. He clutched the photo to his chest and glared at the monster leaning up against the door frame. The monster's arm swung in front of him and gripped a bottle of Jack Daniels by the neck. 

“Ah...I knew you’d still be up,” the monster’s oily voice permeated through the air like toxic gas. He pushed off the door frame and sauntered towards Naruto. Picking a fight. His weight caused the floorboards to sag and groan. Naruto rolled his eyes up at the monster who loomed over him. 

“What’s that in your hand?”

Naruto clutched both hands over the photograph, and continued to press it to his chest. His heartbeat quickened. He could feel the thump-thumping of his heart against his fingertips. It felt like a war drum was embedded in his rib cage. Warning him of what was coming. The monster grabbed his arm and jerked him forward with such ease as if he weighed nothing more than a loaf of bread. Naruto screamed. A guttural animal scream. Large claws grabbed his whole forearm and squeezed, and twisted, and pulled. He let go of the photo as his arm was dragged high above his head. He was completely and utterly powerless. The monster released him and grabbed the photograph.

“Mine! Mine! Mine!” Naruto screamed. 

He was answered with the glass bottle to his head. The force smashed across his temple. He felt skin rip open and could feel warm blood gushing out the wound. His eyes rolled into the back of his head and his vision went black. The impact rocked through his whole body and sent him flying off the edge of the bed and he landed in a heap on the ground. 

“Where did you get this photo? Phew. You fucking reek!” the monster roared dropping the bottle of Jack Daniels. The contents of the bottle poured out and splashed against Naruto’s face. 

He kicked Naruto over so that he was laying on his back. Naruto’s hand went to the gash on his temple and he covered it protectively. He could feel the hot liquid pouring down his face. His eyes fluttered open and he saw the monster looming over him. He brought a foot down onto Naruto’s rib cage and added pressure. Enough pressure it pressed against his lungs and diaphragm. He wasn’t able to suck in oxygen. His face and lips turned a sickly reddish-blue. 

The monster ripped up the photograph into tiny pieces and threw it up in the air like confetti. Naruto’s eyes widened in horror as he watched the ripped up photo of his parents flutter down on top of him. 

“WE’RE YOUR PARENTS NOW YOU GODDAMN PIG!” the monster screamed.

“How do you think this makes us feel? Who could ever love you anyways?! Who could ever love a disgusting pig-boy like you!” 

He continued crushing Naruto’s ribs until a snapping sound was heard. Similar to stepping on a branch and it snapping in two. The noise stunned the monster enough that he stepped off him. There was a burning stinging pain in his chest when Naruto sucked in oxygen. His eyes watered from the pain and each breath was difficult. But what hurt him more were the ripped of pieces of photo that were all over him. 

“What’s all this yelling? Oh! Frank what did you do!”

*****

Naruto sat on the swing in the park. His hands clutched the chains on either side of him. The tips of his sandals brushed against the dirt. He swayed back and forth. The rusted chains squeaked with each action. He sat there for a long time. He didn’t know how long but the sky went from a periwinkle, eggshell, blue to blood oranges, and scarlets, and burnt sienna.

“Hey! Where have you been? We’ve missed you.” 

Two shadows loomed in front of him. Naruto stared at two sets of sandals. He brought only his eyes up to see Itachi and Sasuke standing in front of him. He cast his eyes back down until they were back to staring at the dirt. Itachi crouched down and stared up at Naruto’s face. Itachi wasn’t smiling. Instead there was a worried expression. His eyebrows furrowed and his eyes filled with concern and distress. Sasuke mimicked the actions of his brother, crouched low, and he too stared up at Naruto’s face. Only he was more dramatic in his expressions. Naruto’s eyes flickered to Sasuke and they held each other's gaze. 

“Someone hurt him. Someone real bad. He said a monster hurt him.” Sasuke translated. 

Itachi nodded his head, solemnly, in agreement. 

“Want to come over for dinner? I know our mom missed you and wants to see you again.” 

Naruto didn’t move. He remained stoic. Taking on all the qualities of a statue in the park. Itachi straightened up and looked around. He told Sasuke to wait here with Naruto and he took off running. Naruto’s eyes trailed after Itachi.

“Who hurt you?” Sasuke asked and he sat in the swing next to Naruto and watched him carefully. Covering his temple were white bandages. But it didn’t hide the sickly purple and blue bruises that covered the side of his face nor hide the swelling of his black eye. Naruto watched Sasuke from the corner of his eye. 

“It was your foster dad?!” Sasuke asked as he read Naruto once again. Naruto immediately looked away his grip tightening on the chain. 

“Let’s tell my mom she’ll know what to do.”

“NO TELL!” Naruto yelled in a booming voice. It was a powerful voice that came out of such a tiny body. Sasuke pulled back. 

“But what if he hurts you again?!”

“No tell or I won’t come.” 

“You’re going to come over?”

“Yes. Only. No tell.”

Naruto’s intense stare bore holes through Sasuke and threatened he would leave if he pressed the subject further. Sasuke remained quiet his stomach filling with butterflies. Itachi appeared and held out two popsicles. An orange one and a blue-raspberry one. Sasuke immediately grabbed the blue-raspberry popsicle. His face breaking out into an elated smile. He quickly thanked him, and was just about to tell Itachi that Naruto had agreed to go and play with them but Itachi interrupted him. 

“I remembered. Orange is your favorite right?” Itachi asked. Naruto’s eyes widened and his eyes went from the popsicle in his hand to the expression on his face. He was smiling. Naruto stood up and grabbed the popsicle and began licking it. Itachi then extended his hand motioning for Naruto to hold it. Because it was less scary when they held hands. 

“You bought me a popsicle and now I bought you one. We’re even now. So let’s go play.”

Naruto eyed the outstretched hand and then brushed past it ignoring the gesture. Sasuke jumped off the swing and followed Naruto calling from over his shoulder.

“He’s not a baby he doesn’t need to hold your hand! Come on Naruto let’s go.”

“Che…” Itachi laughed nervously and scratched the back of his head.

*****

It was a long and laboring process but Mikoto had managed to compromise with Naruto. She promised he didn’t have to take a bath, but he did have to sit in the bathtub. She filled a bucket with warm soapy water. Naruto looked petrified. His entire body was trembling. His eyes were wide and darted around as Mikoto moved to get ready. Sensing the fear she had an idea. She opened up the linen closet in the master bathroom and took out a boom box.

“Let’s listen to some music. I always listen to music when I take a bath. Just between us...I listen to Bon Jovi. Oh you probably don’t know who they are. They were a popular rock band in the 80s. They had wild hair and wore tight leather.” 

Naruto continued to watch Mikoto. He sat erect in the empty tub. Fully clothed. His legs were drawn up to his chest and his arms wrapped tightly around them. Locking them in place. He made a perfect ball so if someone wanted they could roll him around and he’d stay locked in place. When the music started he turned his attention to the speaker. Naruto’s jaw dropped as the vocals started. 

Mikoto began humming along and moved her body to the beat. She coaxed Naruto to stand up and she began to peel the clothes off. When she looked at his naked body she clasped a hand to her mouth. Naruto immediately looked up and she pulled her hand away and smiled. 

“Let’s listen to Bon Jovi and get you cleaned up. Yeah?”

*****

It took thirty minutes but she managed to clean all the grime, and dirt, and filth, and blood, and sweat from his body and hair. She redressed the wound on his head, and dressed him in a pair of Sasuke’s cotton pajamas. The pants hugged close to his skin and the cotton shirt fit perfectly. Everything smelled nice and clean. She led Naruto out of the bathroom.

Sasuke ran up to him. He was already dressed in his pajamas, he threw his hands up in the air, and jumped up and down in excitement. The only excitement that arises when you and your friend were both five and in pajamas together for the first time. 

“Look we match! We’re both in our jammies!” 

“Mikoto…Itachi just told me.” 

It was a male voice and he was coming out of Itachi’s bedroom. Naruto began trembling at the sight of him. The two adults disappeared into their bedroom and closed the door behind him. Sasuke stopped jumping up and down, and stopped smiling when he noticed Naruto trembling.

“That’s my dad...don’t worry. He won’t hurt you.”

Naruto and Sasuke sat on the couch. The remote was secured in Sasuke’s hand and cartoons were playing. Naruto wasn’t paying attention. He had an intuition that something was about to go awry. Something was about to go terribly, awfully, wrong. 

“I don’t care Fugaku I’m not sending him back! Do you hear me? Wait here with the kids while I bring him to the hospital.” 

“I’m not saying we have to send him back indefinitely but we have to go through the right channels!” 

“No! That’s what you said the first time we had him and they took him from us and look what happened to him! This never would have happened if he just stayed with us!” 

“Okay-Okay-Okay. I’ll make a call to Obito. He should still be down at the station. I’ll have him meet you at the hospital.” 

Sasuke muted the television sensing the trepidation in his parents voices. They were both listening closely. There was a fear that clutched Naruto internally and he became paralyzed. They were talking about him and they were talking about bringing him somewhere. He couldn’t go anywhere else. He wasn’t even supposed to be here. He had to go home. And he had to go home now.

Panic ensued and he was scrambling to his feet. His pupils dilated. His skin paled. He began to tremble. His heart beat increased. Cortisol and adrenaline were released into his bloodstream and fueled him and pumped him up. He had to get back home or he was going to get in trouble. 

“Where are you going?” Sasuke called after Naruto. But he was already at the front door. There was no stopping him. He opened the door and flung it open and then he was gone.

*****

Naruto was running barefoot down the sidewalk. He was running at full speed. He heard someone calling his name from behind him. It only made him run harder. It was difficult to breathe. Sharp shooting pains erupted in his chest, and he began wheezing. He felt lightheaded. He wasn’t getting enough oxygen. He ran out into the street. He wasn't thinking clearly. His head felt woozy and full. 

There was the sound of a truck horn. The noise startled him and he froze. He turned and looked into the headlights. It blinded him. Entrapped him. Just a baby deer caught in headlights. The horn grew louder and the lights grew brighter. He tensed his body up and closed his eyes. Embracing for impact. 

Before the truck struck him arms secured tightly around his body and he was being picked up. His body became weightless. He heard a heartbreaking scream. It was a blood curdling scream. The scream of a mother who was just about to witness a child being hit by a truck.

“FUGAKU!”

“I got him!” 

The truck passed and Naruto was being carried back to the sidewalk. Mikoto was there instantly. She was crying. Large oval tears slid down her face and threatened to drown them all. She gathered Naruto up from Fugaku’s arms and fiercely held onto him. She rocked him back and forth and continued sobbing. One arm held firmly under him and the other clutched the back of his head. She pressed his head to the nook of her neck and there she stayed until she calmed down. 

Naruto was panting. He was too exhausted to push away. Too exhausted to fight. Too scream. Too throw a fit. For the second time he allowed himself to be a human child. Because the alternative. The alternative was a baby deer who was smashed to bits by the the big mean truck. Whose baby deer organs decorated the asphalt of the street and bits and parts of what was left of his baby deer body embedded in the truck’s fender. There was nobody to care about the baby deer. There was someone who cared about human child Naruto.

*****

Mikoto returned from the hospital with Naruto in her arms. His arms and legs hung limp. He was so fatigued he could barely lift his head. But still fighting tooth in nail the sleep that tried to take him over and bring him to darkness. His eyelids felt heavy as the sandman continued to sprinkle sand in his eyes. 

“Fugaku why are the children still up?” Mikoto asked as she walked into the living room. Both Itachi and Sasuke were already on their feet and ran to her. Peeking to see if Naruto was okay. He was.

“You try telling them to go to bed when they’re friend went to the hospital. How did it go?”

“Three broken ribs, a sprained wrist, and a concussion that needed stitches. The wound was infected so he’s on antibiotics. The hospital took photos, and documented everything. I filed the police report with Obito.”

“Do you want me to carry him to bed?”

“And have you scare him with your big scary face? He freaked out on three male doctors in the hospital. No way. I got him.” 

“Where are we putting him?”

“You can put him in my bed! I’ll sleep in Itachi’s room!” Sasuke pipped. 

Mikoto looked down at her son and nodded her head in agreement. Sasuke led the way to his room and pulled the covers open so Mikoto could lay Naruto down. She sat on the edge of the bed and tucked Naruto in. She brushed her fingers against his cheek and he flinched, but didn’t pull away. She kissed his forehead and told him goodnight and she would be there if he needed anything. She told him he would be safe and sound tonight and not to worry. Nobody was going to hurt him. 

*****

The room was dark and he was alone. 

Long scary shadows spread over the room like monster claws. The wind picked up outside and a tree branch crashed against the window. The branches scraped against the glass. Monsters were trying to get into the room. Naruto sat up in bed. He looked fearfully towards the open bedroom door. It looked liked it was miles from the bed, and if he stepped on the floor the monsters that lived under the bed were going to get him.

Sasuke appeared. He tiptoed through the open door and crawled onto the bed. Naruto watched him transfixed.

“I thought you would still be up. Are you afraid of the dark? Don’t tell anyone, but I am too! I mean I’m six now...but sometimes it gets scary at night.”

Sasuke scrambled off the bed and ran across the room where he had a night light plugged in. He flipped the switch on and the room was illuminated in light. Naruto watched as Sasuke jumped back into bed. He wiggled his body under the blankets and rolled onto his back giggling. 

“This is kinda fun. Us sleeping over together.”

Naruto nodded his head and settled back down. Sasuke reached out and grabbed Naruto’s hand. 

“It's going to be more nights like this. My dad said you’re going to be staying with us for a while. He said you don’t have to go back to them. They’re bad people...and kids don’t go back to bad people. That’s what he said. It’s safe here. I’ll share my clothes and toys with you. Plus I have a night light in my room. My mom is a good cook...and Itachi is okay too sometimes. Even if he gets bossy just because he’s older.” 

Naruto rolled to his side and stared at Sasuke as he talked. They shared the same pillow. Naruto nodded his head to show he was listening. His eyelids drooped and he didn’t have the energy left to open them back up. He drifted off to sleep cuddled up to Sasuke. Holding his hand. It was the deepest sleep he had in awhile. He felt safe. He felt protected. He told himself it was okay to fall asleep. He’d rest up so that his energy was restored for tomorrow. He was safe tonight. But he didn’t know if he would be safe tomorrow. It was a nagging thought that gnawed on his insides and he needed to recoup his energy for whatever tomorrow brings.


	4. Hey! Is this thing on?

#  **Hey! Is this thing on?**

 

Naruto taped the school poster outlining the details of the upcoming talent show on the wall of Kiba’s garage. 24x36 inches. The colors of tangerine, merigold and fire became a beacon of light against the grey, dingy, slightly-moldy cement wall. There were black outlines of two performers. One played the guitar and the other held a microphone. It caught Naruto’s attention, causing him to break out into a smile as he envisioned himself in their place. 

“This!” Naruto beamed as he slammed his palm in the middle of the poster to emphasize his point, “...is our goal. We’re going to win the school’s talent show. That $500 first place prize is ours!” 

The blonde’s blue eyes, the color of an arctic iceberg, glanced around the garage and stopped first at the drummer. Kiba sat, spread eagle, at his drum set. Drum sticks in hand. White mask covering his mouth. He was still on the mend, but took half a bottle of liquid cold medicine in preparation for their band practice. Kiba threw both hands up and screamed in zealous agreement. 

“Sasuke?” Naruto asked bringing his attention to the dark-haired boy in black rimmed glasses. Naruto gave a look that demanded the same enthusiasm from Sasuke as he got from Kiba. 

Sasuke glanced at Kiba, whose brunette hair was wild and appeared like a brush hadn’t combed through it in years, wearing ripped jeans and an oversized green flannel. Kiba meshed perfectly with Naruto and it bothered Sasuke on some unconscious level. Kiba hit his drum sticks together making loud whooping sounds exuding the same energy as Naruto almost as if rubbing it in further that Sasuke did not belong. 

Sasuke fixed his attention on Naruto. 

Those blue eyes of his felt dangerous. If he stared too long he knew his ship would capsize. He felt his glasses sliding down his nose as he clumsy held his 1969 Gibson electric guitar. Cherry wood finish, and matching cherry colored strap. Sasuke was only here because he didn’t want Naruto to leave him behind. Never did he feel more like a selfish child than he did right now. He immediately felt out of place in his corduroy pants, and v-neck polo making him feel more like Jake from Statefarm and less like Jake Gyllenhaal from Donnie Darko. 

“S’okay, S’ske. Just watch us and when you feel comfortable, join in,” Naruto spoke encouragingly as he noticed the shell-shock expression that overcame Sasuke as he glanced nervously towards the exit door. He could physically see Sasuke shrinking into himself, and wanted to pull him out.

“Let’s start with a song to warm up…” Naruto spoke casually slinging his own 1989 Gibson Les Paul electric guitar over his shoulder. Cherry sunburst finish. Black guitar strap. Naruto sauntered up to the microphone that was placed on its stand. Teardrop guitar pick in hand he began playing. 

E power chord. A power chord. B power chord. Repeat. ‘I Love Rock And Roll’ written by Allan Merrill and made famous by Joan Jett. Naruto’s voice was amplified by the microphone. His voice raunchy and sexual -and as soon as Naruto began- Sasuke stopped breathing. Keeping true to Joan Jett’s version Naruto didn’t change pronouns. Sasuke was pulled into a world where Naruto’s voice became god. 

“I saw him dancin' there by the record machine. I knew he must a been about seventeen…” 

Sasuke was mesmerized. Naruto’s voice sent tremors up and down his spine. He was unconsciously holding his breath in the presence of greatness afraid if he breathed the illusion would shatter. Kiba joined Naruto on the drums, a budding genius in his own right, falling into a comfortable rhythm of his own. Only they didn't harmonize well. Bits and pieces were perfect but it wasn't timed right and jumbled together. Maybe it was the cold medicine, but Kiba missed the beat a few times, causing sour notes to filter out. Naruto’s fingers were clumsy and he too strummed sour notes that broke the perfect combo of his voice and chords. 

It was a simple song. The chords were straight forward. Listening to the song on the radio and Sasuke got the gist of how to play it on the guitar, and could even perform a piano arrangement. Sasuke could play it perfectly and match his timing with Naruto.

But the way Naruto played -although imperfect- and the way he sang -transformed the song into something more- something bigger, and Sasuke felt it. His masculine voice carried Sasuke on the journey into a bar in the early 80s smelling of sweat, cigarette smoke, and alcohol. The age of the boy in the song was irrelevant. It was about the confident singer picking up someone at the bar and going home to have sex. During a time of sexual liberation with rock and roll as a backdrop. And Naruto transformed it into an LGBTQ statement of equality. 

Sasuke strummed the guitar chords perfectly. Every single one. His thoughts drifted to Naruto’s sexuality while his eyes drifted to Naruto’s back. 

Naruto sang with the confidence of someone who lost his virginity, and the song he sang, took on a more powerful meaning -because he did to Yamanaka Ino- Sasuke knew because Naruto told him. Sasuke exhaled, and gripped his own nylon guitar pick, strumming the chords as Naruto continued to sing. He wanted to stop thinking about it so he lost himself in the music. 

When the song ended Naruto flashed a mischievous smile at Sasuke from over his shoulder. It was the smile Naruto had when he got exactly what he wanted through less than desirable means. He turned away not wanting to look at him anymore. His face felt hot and pink.

“You’re a natural, Sasuke. You’re our secret weapon.” 

The way Naruto said it caused Sasuke to look up and into those too dangerous blue eyes. He blinked and shifted his eyes away. He felt himself flush. The feeling passed and he stared back at Naruto and Kiba, ready to give his critique, and he didn’t hold back. 

“Naruto your voice cracked a few times and you still have a difficult time singing and playing guitar. Kiba -you- missed the beat at least ten times which caused it to sound out of sync and sour, coupled with Naruto’s poor playing, it was barely tolerable. I want to win and I don’t want any mistakes, and above anything else I don’t want to be made a fool of on stage. If we play. I want perfection. From both of you. Understand?” 

“Alright-alright. We’ll be perfect. Don’t worry about it. Right, Kiba?" Kiba nodded his head as Naruto continued, "More importantly! We need a song. So tell us, Sasuke, what song should we play for the talent show?” 

“Why not this one?”

“Are you kidding?” Kiba asked. His voice muffled from the face mask. Naruto nodded his head in agreement and interrupted. 

“This is a warm-up song it isn’t serious.”

“It’s a high school talent show...it’s not supposed to be serious. It’s supposed to be fun, and we need to play a song that everyone knows. Besides -the way you sang it- without changing the pronouns makes a statement,” Sasuke continued. 

He was unable to look Naruto in the eyes when he spoke and instead focused his attention on Naruto’s t-shirt. The blonde had a closet full of t-shirts that were one size too small. The fabric clung to his body and outlined his lean form. Sasuke wanted nothing more than to buy him a shirt that actually fit. Sasuke -realizing he was staring too hard- shifted his attention to Kiba who appeared to take Sasuke’s words into serious consideration. 

“It’ll be like Cobra Starship covering ‘I Kissed A Boy’. You’re comfortable in your sexuality so why not do this song?” Kiba agreed his head bobbing up and down as he focused his attention on Naruto.

“Why don’t I just sing ‘I Kissed A Boy’ then?” Naruto asked with a sly smile.

“Because you’re not trash and Myspace is dead,” Sasuke answered. Naruto tossed his head back and laughed. 

“Alright-alright...we’ll perform ‘I Love Rock And Roll’. I’ll sign us up tomorrow and make it official. Let’s take it again from the top.” 

“Mhm.”

*****

Naruto tossed his skateboard on the ground and placed his right foot in the center of the board, his left foot ready to kick off, when Sasuke stopped him. They reached the intersection where they were going to go their separate ways. Sasuke to the east and Naruto to the west. He always forgot to ask Naruto something, would only remember after they had parted ways, and it was something Sasuke didn’t want to ask over text message. He wanted a real response.

“Hey...Naruto.” 

The blonde turned around. He left his guitar back at Kiba’s and his blue eyes moved to the black guitar case that Sasuke held in his hand. Naruto flashed Sasuke a smile that said, ‘what’s up?’

“How are things going at your apartment?” Sasuked asked. He wanted to ask if he was lonely but the words never formed.

“Oh. Itachi didn’t tell you?” Naruto asked his voice filling with awe. Sasuke’s eyebrows furrowed together and he shook his head. Somehow he was always the last to know. Always. The mentioning of Itachi's name was enough to send Sasuke's stomach into aerobatics.

“Tell me what?”

“I didn’t do well living by myself and Itachi told me to move in with him until I finished school.” 

“You’re...you moved in with Itachi?!” 

“Yeah a couple of months ago. I’m surprised he didn’t tell you.” 

“Why didn’t you just move back home?!”

There was a darkness that shadowed Naruto’s face and a weak smile spread across his lips. Sasuke swallowed. He didn’t like this expression. It sometimes made its home on Naruto’s face and it knotted Sasuke’s stomach every time. It was etched in pain and it made Sasuke want to hug Naruto like he did back in elementary school. He didn’t know at what age it happened -somewhere between childhood and now- hugging Naruto was no longer a viable option. Hugging him would mean something totally different now...right? 

“You know why, Sasuke. Living with Itachi affords me all the freedom I wouldn’t have living with you guys.” 

Naruto rolled his eyes upwards toward the night sky. There was a new moon tonight. Living with the Uchiha’s sometimes felt like he was trapped in a golden cage with clipped wings. He had everything he needed in the cage. Safety. Warmth. Love. Food. Something was missing. He wasn’t actually living. Once he spread his wings and took flight and had that taste of freedom he was going to do whatever necessary to remain free. He could not be a caged bird that sang it simply wasn’t in his nature. 

“Does mom know?” Sasuke asked immediately thinking of Mikoto and how happy she was to see Naruto the other day. She wouldn’t possibly know, because she wouldn’t stand for it. He tightened his grasp on the handle of his guitar case. Naruto continued looking up at the night sky his right foot moved the skateboard back and forth. Naruto exhaled and looked down to the ground. 

“No...and I would appreciate it if you didn’t tell her. I don’t want her to think it’s her fault.” 

“Does dad know?”

Naruto snapped his head up to look at Sasuke. It happened again. There was a darkness that flashed across Naruto’s iceberg blue eyes. There was a coldness that chilled Sasuke. He felt it in his teeth. There was something else Naruto wasn’t telling him. But before Sasuke could read Naruto’s expression the blonde was turning away. 

“Did...something happen to you Naruto?” 

“You always read too much into things Sasuke. Just drop it.”

“You didn’t answer my question. You always do this when you don’t want to answer a question. So what happened?”

“Nothing! Nothing happened. Anyways. I have homework I need to complete. I have to go. See ya tomorrow.”

”I don’t think you should be living with Itachi!!” Sasuke yelled and as if his words took the form of hands halted Naruto’s movements. The blonde spun around and shot Sasuke an ugly expression of rage and resentment. 

”And why not?!”

”You know why!”

”No Sasuke! You don’t know anything!

Before Sasuke could say another word Naruto was already taking off on his skateboard at such neck breaking speed he was gone within seconds. Flipping his board angrily down the sidewalk. Leaving Sasuke with his mouth agape and his mind completely blank. Feeling like complete and utter dog shit. The same feeling he always got when he got into an argument with Naruto. 

*****

Sasuke sat in the student council office sorting through the permission slips and interest forms for their upcoming college campus trip to Twin Oaks University. He was double checking the names on the clipboard of the students who would be in attendance and those who were not. He exhaled deeply and leaned back in his chair. The only one he hadn’t received a form from was Uzumaki Naruto. Sasuke circled his name three times and tossed the clipboard on the desk just as the door opened and in waltzed Sakura wearing her gym uniform. Blue basketball shorts, a white polo, and fuschia high top trainers. Her pastel pink hair pulled back into a ponytail and her face the color of a Roma tomato.

“I can’t stand that Ino-pig!” Sakura shrieked and she threw her school bag -decorated in Sailor Moon pins- on the floor, “I want to file a harassment complaint against her, then, I’m going to sue the gym teacher, and then, I’ll bring a class action lawsuit against this whole damn school!” 

“What happened?” Sasuke asked looking up as his glasses slid down his nose. He was thankful for the interruption and distraction. 

“Honestly. Sasuke you really need to ditch the glasses. You’re becoming a caricature of yourself. I can’t take you seriously.” 

“...and you wanted to file a harassment complaint? You’re not a reliable victim...just saying. I don’t think I can file this complaint in good faith.” Sasuke teased with a smile.

Sakura kicked at her school bag sending it flying across the room. Her hands balled into fists as she went into her notorious ranting and raving fit. It was moments like this when she released her inner Sakura that was full of pent up rage and anger out into the world. A complete 180 from her typical complicate demeanor full of please and thank yous. She was the perfect actress until she fell apart. 

“Ino is telling all the girls not to change in front of me because I will check them out...she then went and told them I kissed her at summer camp, so now they won’t even speak to me because they think I’m some kind of sexual predator! She even complained to the gym teacher to make me wait to use the locker room until everyone else is finished. And! After the gym teacher agreed she takes her sweet-ass time getting ready and didn’t finish until the bell rang!” 

“You did kiss Ino though at summer camp. Right? So she wasn’t lying.”

“No! Ino kissed me at summer camp! There’s a big difference. I’m going to kick her ass the next time I see her!”

Sakura began swinging her right leg in the air karate kicking a make believe Ino repeatedly in the chest. She was physically acting out Liu Kang’s finishing move transforming into a dragon and bringing her jowls around Ino’s stomach and spine, ripping her apart from the gut and swallowing her torso. Dragon's Bite: Down, Forward, Back, Back, High Kick. Fatality. 

“Are you going to wear your gym uniform the rest of the day?”

“Yes! I’m not going to give her the satisfaction. How dare she kiss me and then make up complete lies about me! I hate her guts!” 

She spun around and began punching the air, “And I saw her swapping spit with Naruto again in front of his locker! I’ll kick his ass too!” 

“Isn’t his locker right next to yours?”

“Yes! She’s doing this on purpose! She wants the world to think she’s straight but the only thing straight about her are her cheap hair-extensions, and she’s using Naruto as a shield, and he’s too stupid to realize.” 

“No...I think he fully realizes,” Sasuke said quietly picking up the clipboard and examining Naruto’s name. He thought back to Naruto’s statement about Ino purposely using Narto in order to make somebody jealous, and Sasuke was beginning to understand who that somebody was, and she was flailing around in the student council office. Sakura took notice of Sasuke expression and quietness over the mentioning of Naruto's name. 

“What’s with that expression? Are you guys fighting or something? I thought you joined his band?” 

“Yeah well I found out Naruto isn’t living by himself he’s living with Itachi.”

“What?!” Sakura screeched and it was so loud it peeled the paint off the walls and ruptured his eardrum. Sakura sat down in front of Sasuke as he rubbed his outer ear. She gave Sasuke her full attention. 

“That isn’t a good idea...I mean...didn’t Naruto have a crush on him?” 

“Yeah…” Sasuke exhaled and closed his eyes and nervously combed through his hair with his fingers. He remembered Naruto running away at thirteen when he found out Itachi began dating Izumi. Naruto refused to come home causing Itachi to preemptively move out of the house and into the college dormitories. 

“...and you want to know something else?” Sasuke had to tell someone and Sakura was as good enough as anyone to spill his guts to. 

“What?”

“I’m in love with my best friend -and he’s in love with my brother- and now he’s living with my brother. Fuck my life.” 

Sasuke slammed his head against the desk. It caused a sharp pain to manifest across his temple. He picked up his head and slammed it once more against the desk hoping it would knock some sense into him, only it caused his glasses to fall off his face, and a red mark to appear in the center of his forehead. The feelings remained.

“Wait...you’re in love with Naruto?”

“Yeah and it feels like I’ve been hit by a freight train...actually scratch that I’d rather be hit by a freight train.”


	5. Missed me, now you've got to kiss me

#  **Missed me, now you've got to kiss me**

 

Naruto was back in the room. 

The walls, ceiling, and floor morphed and bulged as if made out of rubber. The door swung open and the squeaking door hinges pierced Naruto’s ear drums and he turned his head slowly to see the monster leaning up against the frame. A hand squeezing the neck of Jack Daniels as he sauntered into the room. The monster appeared besides Naruto’s bed, dropped the empty bottle of Jack, and slipped beneath the blankets. The smell of stale whiskey permeated the air paralyzing Naruto. The sound of the bed springs moaned with the additional weight and he was so fearful, he turned primal, and his bladder released. The impending pain sent Naruto reeling. It happened. He felt it. Warm liquid between his legs. 

He woke up panting. His body was plunged into a cold sweat that left him nauseous and shaken. He felt a wetness. It soaked through his underwear, and pajama bottoms. He was laying in a puddle of his own urine. He wet the bed. It was uncomfortable. It was shameful. He felt disgusted. He pissed himself and he was going to get punished. He knew it. He looked wildly around the room. It was still dark outside and the nightlight illuminated the room in a warm reddish-orange. Sasuke was in a deep sleep in his own bed. Mouth open. Drooling. Undisturbed. 

Naruto didn’t feel safe. He knew the monster was out there and he knew the monster was going to come for Naruto. He slipped out of the bed. His pajama bottoms sagged as he moved through the house. He had to protect himself. Had to find a way. Naruto found himself in the kitchen. He had to get a knife. Had to protect himself. The light above the stove bathed the kitchen in enough light for Naruto to see the wooden block of knives on the kitchen counter. 

He stood on his tip-toes, and stretched his hand out as far as it could go, but he still couldn’t reach it. He looked around the kitchen for something he could climb on to reach. He found it. He pushed a dining room chair up to the counter. The legs of the chair scraped against the tiled floor. He climbed up on the chair and crawled onto the kitchen counter. He reached for the knives and pulled one out at random. It was a chef’s knife. It felt heavy in Naruto’s hand. This would work. This knife would protect Naruto. Keep him safe from the monster. 

Just then the lights turned on and Naruto pushed back onto the chair and spun around. The monster was here. Naruto held the knife out in front of him. He stood up tall and faced the monster. Aiming the tip of the knife to the monster's jugular. 

“Naruto...what are you doing up...” it was Fugaku. His voice trailed when he witnessed Naruto standing on the chair. Knife in hand and the blade pointed at him threateningly. The five year old looked deranged. His hair was wild, and his eyes were wide, and his pupils pinpricks. It frightened Fugaku and his mind went to his police training he received in the academy, through memos, and sensitivity training, trying to find out how to handle a five year old wielding a knife. His mind went to the taser that was in bedroom nightstand drawer. No. That wouldn't work. It would only traumatize him more, and Mikoto would be furious with him. Also something about tasing a five year old left a bad taste in his mouth.

Naruto was trapped in a living nightmare. He couldn’t tell the difference between fantasy and real life. All he saw was the monster. The memory superimposed onto reality and consumed his senses. He didn't see Fugaku. He saw his old foster father. The man who bashed his skull open and cracked his ribs. 

“MIKOTO!” Fugaku screamed. His voice was powerful. It reverberated around the room. It frightened Naruto and he began trembling. The monster was going to hurt him. Fugaku remained in the doorway. Unmoving. Fugaku screamed for Mikoto again and she appeared besides him.

“Naruto!” Mikoto cried out her face twisting up into anguish. A look as if she was in severe physical pain. The same expression she had when she witnessed Naruto running into traffic. 

Naruto turned his attention to her. He pointed the knife towards her. He stood his ground as she slowly walked towards him. He didn’t lower the knife. He didn't see Mikoto. He saw his old foster mother. His old foster parents were wearing masks. They were going to hurt Naruto.

“Mikoto! What are you doing! He has a knife!” 

Naruto was heaving. Heavy breathing in and out through his mouth. His knees wobbled. He tightened his grip on the handle of the knife. His eyes focused on Mikoto watching as she moved closer. This was a trap to have Naruto drop his guard. The foster mom did it all the time. She’d offer a gesture of kindness but would smear Naruto’s face in the piss covered sheets and howl cruelly. Calling him a dog. Stating she’d potty train Naruto like she potty trained the dog. Smearing his face in his own excrement and forcing him outside. Naruto had to protect himself. 

“Mikoto stop! Don't move closer! We have to figure this out!” Fugaku screamed. He moved forward grabbing hold of Mikoto’s arm and jerking her backwards. Naruto narrowed his eyes. 

Mikoto and Fugaku were no different. They were going to hurt Naruto. Adults always hurt him. Not this time...this time he was going to hurt them before they hurt him. Naruto stood tall and felt powerful standing on the chair knife in hand. He stopped shaking. His knees stopped wobbling. 

“ What’s going on?” a familiar voice filled the kitchen and Naruto turned his head to see Itachi. He was dressed in a navy-blue pajama set. Naruto began to separate nightmare from reality. His brain shifting through the information. Itachi was real. 

“Naruto! Drop that knife you’re going to hurt yourself!” Itachi lectured and it was as if the spell had broken into a plume of dust. Naruto’s arm dropped to his side and an ache erupted up and down his arm. 

“Itachi!” Fugaku screamed as his son moved until he was standing in front of Naruto. He reached out and grabbed the knife from Naruto’s hand. 

“I-I need it…” Naruto spoke as he focused his attention on Itachi. He still held on tightly to the knife feeling the warmth of Itachi’s hand against his. He wasn’t entirely ready to let go of the knife. He was still scared. He did know one thing. He didn't want to hurt Itachi. 

“You don’t need it because I won’t let anything bad happen to you. I’ll protect you. I won't let anyone hurt you. I promise,” Itachi spoke reassuringly. 

Naruto stared down and into the rose-black eyes of Itachi. They were warm. It was something about the way Itachi said it, combined with all of his past interactions, and the genuine look in those eyes that made Naruto believe him. Trust him. Naruto hesitated at first before he slowly began to uncurl his fingers from the handle. Itachi took the knife. 

Mikoto and Fugaku rushed to either side of Itachi. Fugaku quickly took the knife from Itachi and grabbed the block of knives from the counter disappearing from the kitchen immediately. 

“Naruto...did you have an accident?” Mikoto asked her voice calm and gentle. Naruto looked down at his feet. He didn’t answer. He braced himself for the pain, but it never came. 

“Come...let’s get you cleaned up,” Itachi said. He grabbed Naruto’s hand. Naruto tried to pull his hand from Itachi but the older boy had a firm grip. He glared at Itachi resenting the touch but he was greeted with Itachi's warm smile. He looked away embarrassed. Scowling. Yet not entirely hating being touched. 

“Itachi...thank you,” Mikoto spoke. 

*****

Naruto expected to move to another foster family. It was a pattern he was used to. Something bad would happen, something really bad, like pointing a knife at your foster family, and everything he owned was put into a black trash bag and he was sent to the next family. A revolving door of endless faces and houses and smells and pain. Only. It didn’t happen. This time after the really bad thing happened, and instead of moving, he remained with the Uchiha’s.

“Naruto what are you doing?” Itachi asked as he watched Naruto fill a trash bag with what little clothing he had. Mikoto had dropped Sasuke off at his piano lessons. She requested Itachi stay home with Naruto until she and Sasuke returned. Mikoto told Itachi she was visiting an attorney who was going to help her gain physical custody of Naruto, or at least, legal guardianship. She told Itachi that Naruto was going to remain with them, and she planned on fighting for him, something she regretted not doing when Naruto was a baby. If last night told her anything it was that Naruto needed her...and therapy. 

“Packing,” Naruto answered and he moved past Itachi, into the bathroom, where he took his tooth brush and tossed it into the trash bag.

“Where are you going?” Itachi asked following the blonde like a shadow. 

“Another family.”

“Why?”

“I did bad. Now I go.”

“I don’t want you to go. I want you to stay with us,” Itachi spoke. He stepped in front of Naruto blocking his path. The blonde shrugged. Accepting his fate. Itachi grabbed the trash bag. Naruto didn’t let go. He narrowed his eyes and glared up at Itachi pulling on the bag and trying to dislodge it from Itachi.

“Let go!” Naruto demanded and he grabbed the trash bag with both hands and pulled with all his might. 

Itachi raised his voice and grabbed the trash bag with both hands, pulling. Soon they were in a game of tug-of-war, and Itachi was surprised to see how strong Naruto was for being five years younger. 

“No! You’re staying with us.”

“LET GO!”

“NO! You’re staying with us forever!” 

“NO!” 

“YES! You’re going to stay with us...I told you I will protect you. Nothing bad will happen to you if you stay here,” Itachi yelled back matching his tone with Naruto's. 

There was a ripping noise. The sound of plastic tearing apart. Naruto went flying backwards, crashing to the floor. Itachi stumbled back, retained his balance, and remained upright. Naruto stared up defiantly with eyes of a war veteran. They were icy cold. Aged, worn, and broken.

“Do you know what a pinky promise is?” Itachi asked as he kneeled down in front of Naruto. The blonde continued to glare at him nodding his head. He knew the rules of a pinky promise. He witnessed the other children on the schoolyard do pinky-swears to seal a promise. It was the same as a legally binding contract. 

“I’ll make a pinky promise with you,” Itachi continued and Naruto straightened up. He captured Naruto's attention. Naruto was never apart of a pinky promise before and the engrossment of it was enough to soften his features. It made him feel special. He felt a warmness in his tummy.

“You stay with us and I promise that I will protect you, and I promise you will be safe here, and every day will be fun!”

“You don’t want me to leave?” Naruto asked hesitantly. The words were hard to form and he had difficulty talking. 

“No. I want you to stay. So pinky swear you’ll stay,” Itachi answered and held out his pinky finger. Naruto wanted to stay here. At least for a little while longer. Itachi was okay, and Sasuke had grown softer towards him. Mikoto didn’t hurt him and Fugaku kept his distance. Naruto wanted to stay. He didn’t want to leave. Naruto held out his pinky and connected it with Itachi. Linking up and making the legally binding contract. Next came the rhyme.

“Cross my heart and hope to die. Stick a needle in my eye. I pinky-swear...now you have to say it too,” Itachi said with a nod of his head.

“Cross my heart and hope to die. Stick a needle in my eye. I pinky-swear.”

*****

After. 

Naruto began seeing another adult. She called herself Shizune. She had a room full of toys and he was allowed to play with the toys in any way he wanted. He was even allowed to break them and Shizune didn't get mad, as long as Naruto answered her questions, and even when he didn't answer she didn't get mad. Mikoto brought him to visit Shizune on a weekly basis. Same day. Same time. Every week. She was an okay adult. She had a warm smile, but more importantly, she had a pet pig named Tonton. Naruto adored that pig. Especially when Shizune dressed her up in a red dress. It was the funniest thing in the world that Naruto laughed so hard he cried the first time he saw it.

The biggest change was the Uchiha’s became the last family he was placed with. As the months went by, and school started, Naruto was able to find his voice. Every time he spoke he was greeted with warmth and enthusiasm. Nobody hit him. Nobody kicked him. Nobody locked him in a closet, or a bathroom, or a dog crate. It was hard at first but the more he spoke the more of a positive response he received. It became easier. Naruto’s once broken English began to be pieced back together. His fragmented sentences grew and he was able to communicate more effectively. The words that jumbled around inside his head were able to be voiced to the world. 

Naruto still had his guard up. Only it didn't last long. The wall he had built with cement and brick between himself and the world crumbled on October 11th. It was the day he was born. He never knew his birthday, and now he does. Mikoto circled the day in red marker on the calendar that hung on the refrigerator. She told him it was his birthday and as the days grew closer she counted down. She made a big deal about it and the closer it got the more excited Naruto found himself. Mikoto even allowed Naruto to cross out each day before he went to bed. When he turned six was the first time he ever celebrated his birthday. The dining room was decorated with helium filled balloons, streamers and there was a big sparkling 'Happy Birthday Naruto' sign on the wall. 

There were presents, and birthday cards, and they were all for him. The crème de la crème was the homemade birthday cake that was placed in front of him. It was a circular cake covered in buttercream frosting, red, blue and yellow balloons, sprinkles and confetti, with decorative writing of ‘Happy Sixth Birthday Naruto’ across the top. There were a total of six candles. He counted them twice to be sure. Six candles because he was six years old. Those were the rules. Every year you age a candle gets added to the cake. 

The Uchiha’s began to sing Happy Birthday to Naruto. He kneeled in his chair and his elbows rested on the dining room table. On either side of Naruto sat Sasuke and Itachi. Both sang with big smiles. Mikoto and Fugaku stood behind and also joined in. It wasn’t a sad song. It was a very happy song. There was nothing sad, or frightening about the song. He felt tears blur his vision and roll down his cheeks. It was a congratulatory song, it was upbeat, it was happy, so why was he crying? He couldn't stop himself. He was ruining it. He was ruining everything. He hated himself. 

They stopped singing upon seeing Naruto crying. A quietness fell upon the room, and all that could be heard was Naruto’s silent sobbing. He covered his face with his hands. Embarrassed. He ruined it. He ruined his birthday, his first ever birthday party, by crying. He was despicable. Unlovable. He didn’t deserve any of this. He hated himself for being happy. His small shoulders shook as he continued to cry. He wanted to shrink and disappear.

Itachi was the first to respond. He wrapped his arms around Naruto and hugged him tightly. Mikoto was the next to respond and also wrapped her arms around Naruto sandwiching him. It only made Naruto cry harder. He didn't want to be touched.

Sasuke felt uneasy. Seeing Naruto upset in turn made him feel upset. He could physically feel the inner turmoil Naruto was experiencing as if it was happening to him as well. It sent his stomach into flip-flops and he could feel the anxiety welling up inside. He was overwhelmed with emotion he was unable to respond as quickly as he wanted. He watched Itachi who moved so effortlessly and responded so easily. Sasuke was sensitive and more attuned to the emotions around him it took him longer. He stood up and approached Naruto, reaching for a hand, and pulling it down. Naruto looked into Sasuke’s face and gasped. Sasuke was crying. His face, slick with tears, mirrored Naruto’s.

“Happy birthday, Naruto! I'm very glad you were born,” Sasuke spoke genuinely, with a warm smile, as tears fell down.

It was the same words Mikoto said to Sasuke on his birthday. The same words she told Itachi on his birthday. It was the words birthed from love. It was a message she instilled in her children since birth. At these words Mikoto burst out into tears. She had raised her children into kind, selfless, caring humans and it touched her heart. She knew she was doing all right with raising her children. It was moments like these that instilled her with more confidence.

Fugaku walked up behind Mikoto and wrapped an arm around her and his free hand ruffled Naruto’s blonde hair. 

“I’m glad you’re part of our family,” Sasuke continued with a smile. It was enough to make Naruto cry even harder. He was overwhelmed with waves of emotions he had never experienced before in his short life and it came out in an endless stream. 

*****

Itachi opened his eyes to see the outline of Naruto’s form. The blonde was dressed in the new pair of pajamas and slippers Itachi picked out for his birthday present. He pushed himself up in bed looking Naruto up and down; expecting the worse and hoping for the best. A saying he heard the adults say all the time and its meaning finally clicked.

“Naruto...are you okay? What happened?”

“I can’t sleep.”

“Are you okay?”

“I had a nightmare. I dreamt of the monster again. He hurt me.” 

“Do you want to sleep with me tonight?”

"I'm not a baby," Naruto huffed and stomped his foot. He was being indignant again. He was seeking affection and yet when it was offered he reeled back. Itachi smiled reading him as easily as reading the first graders reading list. 

"I'm afraid. Will you sleep with me tonight so I won't be afraid?" Itachi asked. 

Naruto nodded his head and Itachi pushed himself back on his bed and pulled the blankets back. Naruto crawled into the bed, keeping his distance, and laying his head on a separate pillow. Itachi covered them both up with the blankets and settled back down into the bed, rolling to his side so he could better see Naruto. His blue eyes focused on the ceiling where glowing stars and planets were pinned. His play dates with Shizune began to soften Naruto somewhat. He wanted to apologize to Itachi. He wanted to do it while he still had the courage.

“I-I want to say I’m sorry." 

“For what?”

“For everything bad I did,” Naruto whispered. Images of standing on the dining room chair, knife in hand, and pointing it at them flashed through his mind. It was a black and white memory. The smell of sweat and urine filled his nostrils. He shivered. 

“I forgive you.” 

“Do you hate me?” 

“Not at all. I like you.” 

“Okay.”

"Well do you like me?" Itachi asked pushing himself up and peering down at Naruto. The blonde shook his head no and rolled to his side so that his back faced Itachi.

"No," Naruto answered harshly. Like a Judge slamming the gavel down. It was final.

"Che...you're so not cute," Itachi began laughing and fell back down to his bed. A small smile spread across Naruto's face and he thought about those words. Maybe he liked Itachi a tiny bit. It was the last thing he thought about before drifting off into a dreamless sleep. 


	6. Remember what the doormouse said

#  **Remember what the doormouse said**

 

“I’m so freaking happy for you two! You two are couple-goals. Hashtag perfect couple!”

“Stop acting like we’re dating…cause we’re not!”

“But-but you want to! Just tell him how you feel. Hey if he can’t have Itachi you’re the second best choice.”

“Hey, Sakura, why don’t you go jump off a cliff.” 

Sakura wore a revealing smile as she walked down the congested senior hallway towards her locker. Her smile was so wide it pushed her cheeks up, and so big, it crinkled the corners of her eyes. One that showed both the tops and bottoms of her teeth, one where unconsciously her lower jaw was descending, leaving her wide-mouthed and thunderstruck. It conveyed that she was holding in a monumental secret, but also if under the right settings and circumstances, she would spill her guts. 

Sasuke walked beside Sakura unable to turn away from that smile. He was going to try and intercept Naruto at his locker and have him turn in his interest form for the university visit. Sakura’s all-revealing face only made his bundle of nerves grow causing his meatless monday surprise lunch to churn in his stomach. Her resolve wasn’t strong. Maybe it was a colossal mistake to tell Sakura. It was the heat of the moment and he probably would have told anyone who entered the student council office. Sakura would sell him out for a #156 Harley Quinn Funko Pop, and he knew it. 

Ah fuck. 

“Wipe that self-satisfying grin off your face this instant!” Sasuke growled; regretting ever telling Sakura about his true feelings for his best friend. She was going to ruin everything and spill her guts the first chance she got. He knew it. Ugh!

“What grin? I’m acting normal. This is my totally normal face!” Sakura spoke as she turned to look up at Sasuke. It was -not- her totally normal face. Her expression remained the same. The only difference was her jaw moved even lower leaving a gap as big as a fist in her mouth. Naruto was going to know something was off and he’d question Sakura -interrogate her- until she confessed. 

“I swear Sakura if you tell anyone I’ll murder you, and dispose of you in such a way there will be no trace, and your poor mother will die from a broken heart!”

“Ouch, Sasuke. No need to drag my poor mother into this--”

Sakura trailed off. She stopped moving as if the soles of her pink trainers melted and became one with the floor. Leaning up against Sakura’s locker was Ino, as if sensing Sakura’s intense stare through the scope of a sniper rifle, Ino turned to see Sakura. There was a flash of helplessness and vulnerability across her face, and it stopped Sakura from going into kill mode. Ino quickly turned her attention to the epicenter of the crowd, the eye of the storm, and Sakura and Sasuke followed her eyes. 

It wasn’t just Ino hanging at Naruto’s locker. A crowd gathered around Naruto who was in an -equidistant war of the worlds- argument with Gaara. Sakura’s attention was hypervigilant on Ino, whereas, Sasuke’s was hypervigilant on Naruto. 

Gaara and Naruto went together like toothpaste and orange juice, like nuts and gum, and coke and mentos. Meaning they didn’t go together. At all. The two had been water and oil since Gaara’s transfer in the middle of their freshman year. There wasn’t one incident. It was a bunch of insequential things that transpired between them until they ended up in a fist fight in the cafeteria the beginning of their sophomore year. It cemented their relationship as rivals. 

“If I win I want those photos deleted, all of them, and you better not pull this shit ever again or I’ll take a baseball bat to those pearly white teeth of yours.” 

“I always keep my word, Uzumaki. I’ll even throw in a genuine apology, but if I win, I want your Gibson.” 

“Deal, you no-eyebrows freak!” 

Sasuke was the first to push his way through the crowd catching the tailend of a bet in which Naruto had his 1989 Gibson on the line. The students that had gathered, upon seeing Sasuke, began to disperse like smoke to cold air. The lunch hour had ended and they were at risk of being tardy to their afternoon class, and fearing, not only the wrath of Sasuke but the wrath of Iruka they practically sprinted away.

Naruto catching sight of Sasuke -ducked down and spun around- but Kiba swung a supportive arm around Naruto’s neck and spun him back around. 

“What’s going on here?” Sasuke demanded his eyes narrowed on Naruto and Gaara. He carried the same pressence as his father, the decorative police officer, of law and order. Authority. Respect. A leader. He was elected class president every year since freshman year. 

“Ah nothing-nothing, class prez. Just telling Naruto he’s a talentless loser who is wasting his Gibson’s potential, and that he should just give it to me, ya’ know someone who actually plays in a band and who can actually play guitar without messing up,” Gaara spoke with a smug grin and a wave of his hand. 

Gaara was shorter, by at least four inches, and wore clothes even tighter than Naruto. They shared the same fashion taste, however, Gaara’s was more refined and expensive. The kind of look that looked Seattle-grunge, but a couple hundred dollars was spent at American Apparel and Urban Outfitters to achieve that 90s aesthetic, whereas, Naruto’s look came from local garage sales, clearance racks, and the Goodwill. Gaara’s jeans were so tight -nothing was left to the imagination- causing the outline of his cock and balls to emerge against the denim. Rust-colored hair, and desert cactus green eyes. Fixated on Naruto. It irritated Sasuke. 

“Go eat shit and die, Gaara,” Naruto snarled. 

“Eat shit and live, Uzumaki,” Gaara rebutted with a tilt of his head. 

“Drink bleach.”

“After you.” 

“Both of you are out of line. Now get to class or I’ll ban you both from performing at the talent show,” Sasuke interjected. He wasn’t exactly sure he had such power. Irregardless, the words appeared to work. Gaara looked like he was leaving, then he stopped, and turned his arrid green eyes on Sasuke. The look said he had an ulterior motive. 

“Mhm, class prez you’re not picking favorites are you? I heard you’ve decided to play with Naruto at the talent show. With the student council judging it doesn’t seem fair, and if our own class prez is playing it almost seems stacked against the rest of us. So why even bother?” 

“I assure you it will be a fair judging. The student council were informed of such-”

“Sorry for interrupting, but, do you think our class is stupid or something? You think this lowly of us, as if we couldn’t put two-and-two together? If Naruto wins we will all think it’s because of favoritism -you- and the rest of the student council show him,” Gaara fixed his attention back to Naruto, “You wouldn’t want to win that way...would you Naruto?” 

“That’s not…” Sasuke began to explain but was interrupted by Naruto. 

“You piece of shit. Fine! Sasuke won’t play with us I don’t want to give you any excuse for when I wipe the floor with you at the talent show.” 

“Naruto…!” Sasuke called out angrily. 

He didn’t want Naruto to cut him so easily. He wanted Naruto to fight for Sasuke, to argue against Gaara’s piss-warm argument, to demand that Sasuke remain and perform alongside him on the stage, because Sasuke wanted to, he really fucking wanted to. He didn’t like the turn of events. It happened too damn fast. One minute he was in the band, and the next he was out. Like a contestant on Project Runway. He felt like his model was sent down the runway naked -only- he was the model, and -he- was walking the runway naked. 

Gaara rolled his head around his shoulders with a smug grin. He knew exactly what he was doing. He raised and dropped his non-existent eyebrows as things fell perfectly into place and began moving towards his next class. Mission accomplished. 100% success rate. 

“Leave me alone Sasuke!” Naruto shouted at Sasuke as he stormed down the hallway. He didn’t so much as look at Sasuke. No acknowledgment. No explanation. Just cut loose. He was being unnecessarily cruel again. Kiba glowered at Gaara, he shot Sasuke a helpless look, and turned his attention to Ino.

“You coming?” Kiba asked Ino and she nodded her head vigorously. She paused and eyed Sakura up and down. The helpless victim expression was gone and in its place a mischievous, albeit malice, look. 

“Sakura I’m loving the new look. Very butch. Very Disney’s Double Teamed. It suites you well.”

She flipped her platinum blonde hair extensions and followed Kiba, who followed Naruto. Her breasts bouncing and threatening to come out of her v-neck tank top as she sauntered down the hallway.

The hallway emptied of all students except Sasuke and Sakura. The final bell rang. 

“What in the actual fuck just happened?” Sakura asked dumbstruck.

“Naruto just kicked me out of the talent show performance.”

*****

“Naruto!”

Sasuke called out as soon as he spotted the blonde exiting through the school gate. He wouldn’t admit it -even if he was viciously tortured and interrogated- that he was purposely waiting outside the school gate -close to an hour- waiting to ambush Naruto. But he was, and it paid off. Naruto on top his skateboard was startled enough he tripped and fell off, and Sasuke sensing the weakness pounced. 

“Sasuke!” Naruto breathed looking relieved to see him. Sasuke missed it completely. 

“Care to explain what -that was all about- this afternoon?” Sasuke demanded throwing his hands up. He was fuming. He thought he reached pure equilibrium, waiting for the blonde, but seeing him triggered those emotions and they bubbled to the surface screaming out like a tea kettle. 

“What are you doing tonight?” Naruto asked and his easy-going nature and candor question caught Sasuke off guard.

“Nothing...why?”

“Itachi left this morning to the city for the art exhibition.”

Of-fucking-course-he-did. Sasuke thoughts turned back to his brother. Itachi was a true genius that could have gone on to become a surgeon, or an engineer, or into business. Some profession which paid six figures. Instead he turned down full scholarships to ivy league universities to attend art school. He calls himself something of a painter. His medium: acrylic and oil paint. His painting style: magical realism mixed with Terry Rodgers. His muse: the human form naked, specifically Naruto and Izumi. 

Itachi was talented, yes no argument, and the majority of his paintings were depictions of Naruto (clothed) and/or Izumi (naked). It was uncomfortable. Sasuke had a mental note to confront Itachi on his intentions (if any) regarding Naruto, as well as, demanding an explanation on why he thought it a good idea to invite Naruto to move in with him -knowing full well- Naruto’s feelings for him. To Sasuke their relationship was more like Nabokov’s Lolita and less like Aciman’s Call Me By Your Name. 

“So?” Sasuke snarled. Everytime Naruto brought up his brother’s name he turned into a green-eyed monster. He told himself he had to calm down. It wasn’t like Naruto and Itachi were aware of Sasuke’s feelings, because they never asked, and Sasuke, never told them.

“I...do you want to stay the night?”

“No, not really,” Sasuke said harshly. He knew where this conversation was going and he was tired of being Naruto’s second pick. Sakura’s words from earlier still stung as if he was slapped across the face with them. He felt the red welt on his cheek. If Kiba was sick then Naruto suddenly had time to spend with Sasuke. If Itachi left town Naruto suddenly wants Sasuke to spend the night. If Naruto couldn’t find anyone else to join the band then he suddenly wants Sasuke to join, only to cut him loose the first chance he got. 

“I...don’t want to be alone, please S’ske.”

Sasuke’s heart skipped a few beats and his stomach flipped and flopped at the honesty of Naruto’s words. Fuck.Fuck.Fuck. The blonde regressed until he was the round-faced five year old who was afraid of the dark and wet the bed whenever he had night terrors. All the anger and bitterness inside Sasuke blew out like a flame on a candle. Sasuke was so in love with Naruto he couldn’t possibly say no to him, even though he should, even though he ought to as a lesson on humanity. He was so in love with him it physically ached. He just wanted Naruto to be happy, and safe, and loved. 

“Okay, how long is he gone for?”

“A week.” 

"If I stay I want you to turn in your interest form for the school trip to visit Twin Oaks University."

"No prob!" 

“Did you want me to stay the week?”

“Mhm.”

“Fine. I’ll go home and pack.” 

Naruto broke out into a breathtaking smile and it caused Sasuke to struggle to breathe. It melted Sasuke’s heart and he clamped his jaw shut for fear if he opened it he’d confess everything to Naruto. It wasn’t the time nor the place. That would have been enough, but then Naruto went and wrapped his arms around Sasuke, and hugged him. Sasuke wanted to hug him back but he stiffened up. Naruto smelled delicious (oh god did he smell delicious). He was warm and his body was pressed up against his. Naruto’s face was in the crook of Sasuke’s neck and he could feel Naruto’s lips against his skin. Sasuke’s thoughts turned perverted and he felt blood rush to his groin. He felt an erection forming. He shoved Naruto backwards, hard, with both hands before Naruto could physically feel Sasuke’s secret. Quick! Sasuke thought about his mother naked and his cock turned limp. A look of shock smeared Naruto’s face as he stumbled backwards. Get it together Sasuke! 

”Sorry, I just need some space. I’m still mad from earlier,” Sasuke lied. A look of guilt and shame washed over Naruto and he nodded his head in agreement, accepting the explanation, and offered up no explanation of his earlier actions. Taking a vow of silence. Sasuke would ask him later tonight.

In one week Naruto had hugged him twice, unprompted, and it was beginning to mess with Sasuke’s head. It left Sasuke delirious and his head spun round and round in a haze of the hookah smoking caterpillar, because he must have fallen into Wonderland. He suddenly felt giddy like a child on the verge of something exciting happening. Pure unadulterated enjoyment. His feelings aside he was going to spend a week, uninterrupted, with Naruto. Since his abrupt departure from their home there was a void of loneliness and misery, and misery loved company, that it left a leaden ball in Sasuke’s chest. He felt the weight lifting and he was able to breathe easier.

“Thank you, S’ske! I’ll see you soon.”

Naruto, on top his skateboard, skated down the sidewalk towards Itachi’s apartment. Sasuke, smiling to himself, began walking towards his home. Unbeknownst to him that spending the week with Naruto was going to change their relationship forever. Even then. If he knew then what he knows now he’d still choose the same pain. 


	7. Loving you is cherry pie

#  **Loving you is cherry pie**

 

Naruto pushed the apartment door open and greeted Sasuke with an inviting smile as cool and refreshing as a toothpaste commercial. That smile, a gift from Apollo himself, shone brightly. It warmed Sasuke’s heart. He couldn’t help but smile back in response as he followed Naruto into his brother’s apartment. Naruto had changed into jogger pants and a too tight white t-shirt. He resembled the all american boy next door. Sasuke turned away covering his mouth with a hand. He felt his face inflamed with those perverted thoughts.

How embarrassed he’d be if Naruto heard what he was thinking of. Fuck. These hormones were going to be the death of him. 

The apartment was situated over a flower shop and a tea lounge nestled in the heart of the historical district. One wall was comprised of paneled glass that overlooked the square where the marble fountain of Eros, Himeros, and Pothos stood deadcenter. His brother had good taste, an eye for aesthetic, and a flair for interior decorating. It resembled the apartment of an artist and musician. 

The longer he looked around the apartment the more of Naruto he saw. His skateboard leaning up against the wall. He stared at the ferocious nine-tailed fox painted on the bottom of the board and it stared menacingly back at Sasuke. Naruto’s textbooks and notebooks were sprawled across the coffee table. One of his red, white and blue flannel shirts was left on the leather couch. There was a paralyzing feeling in his chest as if needles were being slowly inserted into his flesh, through his breastbone and piercing his lungs. Thinking about Naruto spending all his free time with Itachi inside this apartment. Hurt. It fucking hurt. 

Sasuke looked around as he shrugged the duffle bag off his shoulder and dropped it on the floor with a thump. It was a minimalist, open floor concept, with a mix of shiplap and brick walls, vaulted ceilings, cement floors, plants (lots and lots of green plants) and muted colors. Everything was clean, airy, and whimsical. 

“I’m really happy that you’re here, S’ske. It kinda feels like we’re kids again sharing a room. Ya know? Like we’re playing house,” Naruto spoke nostalgically leaning on the back of the leather loveseat with attached chaser lounge. 

Sasuke wasn’t listening to Naruto his eyes glued to Itachi’s four-post bed covered in an exuberant amount of plush pillows of all shapes, colors, and sizes. Made up with silk sheets and a white fur blanket folded at the foot of the bed. An easel was set up alongside the bed and besides it a table filled with paints and paintbrushes. Sasuke remembered seeing paintings of Izumi, naked, on the bed. There was a flash of Naruto -superimposed- on the paintings of Izumi. Naked and sprawled out on Itachi’s silky sheets with a ‘come hither’ expression in those bedroom blue eyes of his. Sasuke shook his head. The thoughts didn’t leave. Glued on the inside of his eyelids. 

There was only one bed -that Sasuke could see- in the apartment.

“Where do you sleep?” Sasuke asked sharply.

“Oh, with Itachi,” Naruto flashed a devious smile, and Sasuke’s coronary artery failed. He went into respiratory failure. Cardiac arrest. He flashed a look of pure mortification at Naruto. Silently imploding. He choked on air, on salvia -coughed violently- and backed away from the blonde. He wanted out. He wanted to go home. Being here was a mistake. 

“I’m kidding!” Naruto burst out laughing and pointed towards the spiral staircase that lead to the loft. “My room is up there.” Oh. Sasuke forgot about the loft. 

“That isn’t funny!” Sasuke snarled catching his breath. Again. It was a mistake. Being here. “I’m leaving!” Sasuke said petulantly and grabbed his duffle bag, swung it around his shoulder, and proceeded towards the door. The blonde -who was bent over in stitches- was laughing so hard looked up.

“W-wait!” Naruto begged and grabbed hold of Sasuke’s wrist; stopping him. Sasuke turned to look at Naruto’s fingers brushing against Sasuke’s until his hands threaded perfectly with Sasuke’s. Naruto’s eyebrows furrowed together and his face softened into a remorseful expression. Almost instantaneously -under Naruto’s touch- he began to calm down as if he was injected with ativan. Sasuke’s fingers thread themselves with Naruto. He loved the feeling of his skin against his. 

“I’m sorry...I promise no more jokes. I swear. Cross my heart and hope to die. I’ve been working on an acoustic cover of Paparazzi. I want to sing it for you,” Naruto spoke and gave Sasuke’s hand a reassuring squeeze. 

Sasuke brought his eyes up to meet those too-blue iceberg eyes. The only thing cold about Naruto were those eyes. They were aged years, decades, eons than his seventeen year old body. Eyes that witnessed the extermination of humanity and continued to live in a vacuum of nothingness. Hook. Line. Sinker. Sasuke lost the moment he looked into those eyes. 

“Stick a needle in your eye…” Sasuke corrected. Yes. He wanted needles in those blue eyes so he wouldn’t be spellbound by them any longer. Naruto nodded his head in agreement -made a cross on his breastbone- with his free hand flashing Sasuke a reassuring smile. Sasuke melted and caved into his whims. 

“Cross my heart and hope to die stick a needle in my eye.”

“Mhm good.”

Naruto released his hand from Sasuke’s, his fingers brushed Sasuke’s skin as if to say ‘until we met again’ before he moved away. A low growl escaped Sasuke's lips. He wanted Naruto’s hand back and threaded with his. Naruto motioned for Sasuke to follow him up to the loft. Sasuke watched as Naruto ascended the spiral staircase, barefoot, and disappear. He exhaled, dropped the duffle bag, slipped out of his shoes, and smiled; complying. 

“Ta-da!” Naruto spoke; spreading out his arms introducing Sasuke to his bedroom. The memory foam queen mattress was on the floor, no boxspring, no bed frame. A portable closet pushed up against one wall where his clothes hung on wire hangers (most were on the floor), and his pants and shorts thrown (in every way) on the racks. It was a complete disaster. It was messy and disorganized. Naruto hadn’t changed at all. He was a slob.

There was yamaha piano keyboard set up, a microphone, and his 1989 Gibson placed on the guitar rack. There was sound equipment set up and wires going in every direction. It was a tripping hazard. 

“What’s that…” Sasuked asked as he pointed towards the tripod where a camera was set up and pointed at the microphone and keyboard. 

“That’s a camera.” 

“I know what it is but what is it for?” 

“Recording.” 

Sasuke rolled his eyes and looked at the keyboard, “You don’t play the piano.” 

“I do now. Itachi has been teaching me.” 

Sasuke had an image of his brother sitting alongside Naruto -in the loft- alone, and teaching him the major and the minor scales. He felt a surge of jealousy and he shifted uncomfortably. Naruto sat down and motioned for Sasuke to join him. Rolling his eyes he sat down alongside Naruto. He smiled to himself as he looked at the keyboard. Each key had masking tape and labeled in black sharpee the keys of A-B-C-D-E-F-G. 

“Now listen and tell me what you think.” 

Naruto attempted to play the keyboard, a butchered rendition of Lady Gaga’s ‘Paparazzi’. The notes were jumbled -the wrong keys were played- repeatedly, and he accidentally played two keys, sometimes three keys, at a time by mistake. In conclusion it sounded nothing like Paparazzi more like a cat howling in heat. Sasuke watched Naruto’s fingers, gnarled and inexperienced, as he tried to follow the sheet music. Sasuke couldn’t listen anymore. He’d rather listen to nails on the chalkboard, a car alarm, and a baby crying all at the same time. 

Naruto didn’t even finish the intro, didn’t even begin singing, and Sasuke was stopping him. He shoved Naruto’s hands away from the keyboard and gave him a scowl. He was angry. If Naruto wanted to learn piano than Sasuke should have been the first person he asked. Sasuke continued to be slated in second place when it came to the blonde. 

“No...no you’ve got it all wrong. That wasn’t music it was just eye-piercing noise. My ears are bleeding. Whatever my brother was teaching he should be drawn and quartered for thinking this was acceptable. I’ve never seen a more terrible performance. Five year olds could play better.”

“That bad, huh?”

“I’d rather play russian roulette than listen to you play anymore.” 

“Yeah...it’s pretty bad,” Naruto said nervously rubbing the nape of his neck. “How about you play and I’ll sing?” 

“Mhm. That sounds like a better idea.” 

Sasuke looked at the sheet music in front of him. He didn’t need the sheet music. He was enrolled in piano lessons sense he was three years old. He won several state championships, went to several musical -albeit band- camps, and even had a lesson with Steve Reich. His piano teachers told him he had perfect pitch the ability to recognize the pitch of a note or produce any given note; a sense of absolute pitch. He heard Paparazzi enough to know what keys to play. 

He began playing. He closed his eyes and lost himself in the beautiful sound that was produced. He played with feeling. The song depicted the struggles of balancing love and success. Sasuke rendered it darker. Deeper into the turmoil of the songs potential of forcing to pick love or success as neither could be achieved at the same time.

The language of music was different than the world of verbal language. It was comprised of sounds -strung together in scales and chords- to form words and sentences of communication. Music was the language of emotion, it came from the soul, and Sasuke was proficient since he was a child. Sasuke finished the intro and Naruto came in hot. 

“We are the crowd, we’re c-coming out, got my flash on it’s true, need that picture of you…It’s so magical...we’d be so fantastical-”

Naruto, bringing his mouth to the microphone began to sing. His timing perfectly matched Sasuke’s playing as if they had rehearsed for days and were now performing live. He matched his pitch to the darker c minor Sasuke was playing in. No longer the upbeat club song. It was perfect. Sasuke’s fingers continued to glide easily against the keys. He felt more comfortable playing the piano than he did strumming the guitar. 

“Leather and jeans, your watch glamorous, not sure what it means, but his photo of us it don’t have a price...ready for those flashy lights-”

Naruto was talented at the guitar and with more practice would become a genius in his own right, but he struggled with multitasking. Singing and playing guitar was shaky at best. Naruto was okay with bass, and completely-fucking-awful at keyboard. But. Naruto could sing. He could really fucking sing and it sent chills down Sasuke’s spine -goosebumps formed on his skin- as he continued singing. 

Sasuke turned to stare at Naruto focusing his attention on his mouth up against the microphone. A perverted through of Naruto’s mouth pressed against the head of his penis sent blood to his groin. All of Naruto’s attention and energy focused on singing didn’t notice Sasuke’s obvious staring. He was lost in the song and Sasuke was lost inside Naruto’s voice. His guttural voice in the microphone was turning him on. He wanted to record Naruto and listen to his voice on repeat.

Fuck. He was going to get another erection. He turned -closed his eyes- and tried to pictured a gruesome car accident with bodies mangled in the windshield. He continued to focus on the most gruesome, blood, and guts images he could think of. Unconsciously willing his penis to remain flaccid and unresponsive. It worked. 

“...promise I'll be kind, but I won't stop until that boy is mine, baby you'll be famous...chase you down until you love me...papa-paparazzi…” 

The music faded and Sasuke opened his eyes. 

“Let’s do it again. Just like that. This time I want to record it,” Naruto said. 

Naruto grabbed his water bottle that was at his feet and brought it to his lips. Sasuke stared at the blonde from the corner of his eyes. Water fell from Naruto’s mouth and slid down his jaw and neck. Sasuke averted his eyes. He suddenly felt thirsty and wanted Naruto to offer him some water, or at least, offer him the water bottle. But he didn’t. Naruto was being selfish again. A one track mind and Sasuke -slated in second place- didn’t cross his mind once. He exhaled. 

“Why do you want to record it?” Sasuke asked eyeing the camcorder. 

“The internet of course. We sound fucking amazing, Sasuke! Like orgasmic, fuck, it kinda turns me on. I want to upload it and then see Gaara’s expression when he sees--”

“What the fuck was that about Naruto?” Sasuke asked angrily. He was liking the beginning of Naruto’s sentence and then he fucked it up by mentioning Gaara’s name -which in kind- reminded Sasuke that he was cut from performing at the talent show. 

“Ah...yeah I do owe you an explanation.”

“Ya think?!”

“Gaara hacked Ino’s cloud and...Ino being Ino...had nudes, and now Gaara is in possession of said nudes and threatened to send them to the whole school,” Naruto spoke nonchalantly as if he was talking about the forcaste for the upcoming week and not about underaged child pornography. 

The seriousness of it weighed heavy on Sasuke’s shoulders. Like a pulled muscle. His mind immediately went to filing a police report, reporting it to the principal, and contacting Gaara’s parents. Ya know. Like a normal person. Naruto’s mind went to wagering a bet on who would win at the talent show as if he was staring in a Netflix original rom-com movie. 

“This is serious!”

“Shh, it’s okay class prez. I have it all under control,” Naruto said leaning in close and covering Sasuke’s mouth with his hand. Sasuke’s eyes widened. It was happening again. Naruto didn’t have it under control. Instead of practicing the guitar for the upcoming talent show he was singing an acoustic cover. Naruto was slipping through pockets of reality and into a daydream. Sasuke wanted to pull him back to reality. 

“Now...let's talk about this later...please play for me,” Naruto purred, dropping his voice and leaning in closer to Sasuke. 

He was hypnotized by those iceberg blue eyes. He grabbed Naruto’s hand from his mouth and pulled it down. Gripping his hand hard. He wanted to hurt him just to hear him scream out his name. There was no reaction. Their faces were so close -if he wanted- Sasuke could -easily bridge the gap- and kiss him. He settled with gripping Naruto’s hand so tightly -he’d break it if he had to- the other boy winced. Voila. A reaction. He wanted Naruto to keep focusing his attention on Sasuke.

“Answer me first. Who do you think of when you sing?”

“Mhm...lot’s of people.”

“Have you ever thought of me?”

“Mhm.”

Sasuke complied.

***** 

They played late into the night. Songs Naruto requested: because he wanted to sing. Songs Sasuke requested: because he wanted to hear Naruto’s voice. Stopping -only- when Naruto collapsed on his bed complaining his throat was sore. Stopping -only- when Naruto wanted to stop. Sasuke wanted to stop an hour ago.

“Where am I sleeping?” Sasuke asked as he stretched his sore limbs. 

“With me.”

“I’m serious.”

“I’m serious. Sleep with me. Pretend we’re kids again.” 

Naruto pushed himself up so that his arms were supporting his weight getting a better look at Sasuke. He was being serious. Dead serious. It sent a chill down Sasuke’s spine and his breath hitched. He didn’t want Naruto to notice and he let it roll off his shoulders; shrugging. Smirking.

“Are you going to wet the bed?”

“What?!” Naruto cried out his face turning the color of a melted maroon crayon. “I-I-It only happened like once! Keep your voice down!” 

“Who's going to hear me?” Sasuke asked as he looked around the empty apartment. “Common’ you wet the bed until you were like seven, it’s cute.”

“Shaddup! No I didn’t! And don’t you dare tell anyone Uchiha or else!”

“Or else what?” Sasuke taunted -tilted his head to the side- and smirked. Naruto squirmed. Getting a reaction out of Naruto made him feel exhilarated. Only he didn’t scream Sasuke’s name. Choosing his last name. Sasuke didn’t like it. There were too many Uchiha’s in the world. It wasn’t special at all. 

“Don’t tell me...you still wet the bed?” Sasuke asked with a quirked eyebrow. It forced Naruto to pay attention to him. Naruto grabbed one of his pillows and tossed it at Sasuke’s face.

“I’ll suffocate you in your sleep you monster! I’m using the bathroom first. You stupid-faced jerk! Keep it up and I’ll tell Mikoto on you! You ruined a perfectly good night. She won’t be happy when I tell her, and I will. I hope you're satisfied with yourself.” 

Naruto was ranting and raving as he ran down the spiral staircase. His voice echoed throughout the apartment bouncing off the vaulted ceiling. The bathroom door slammed shut, but Sasuke could still hear him ranting just couldn’t make out the words. Sasuke found himself smiling the entire time.

*****

Taking a piss. Washing his hands with Bath and Body Works soap. Eucalyptus. He sang the abc’s as he washed. Twice just to be sure they were clean. Flossing for sixty seconds. Brushing his teeth for ninety seconds. Gargling with listerine total care for sixty seconds. Washing his face with rugged and dapper facial cleaner. He moved his fingers over his jawline. Not even a stubble. No Uchiha had been able to grow a beard. Examining his naked body in the mirror -trying to see- if there were any changes -he hadn’t noticed- from the night before. Ah. Nothing. Finally changing into a pair of clean boxers -he changed his underwear often- and changed into his pajamas. Sasuke completed his nighttime routine and was ready for bed.

Sasuke returned to the loft to see Naruto has already in bed -laying on his stomach- cellphone in hand. Typing. He walked to the other side of the bed and slipped under the duvet covers. Pausing when he saw Naruto was eating cheez-its. Extra toasty. 

“What are you doing?” 

“Oh...you want some?” Naruto asked with a mouthful offering Sasuke the box of cheddar crackers.

“Don’t eat in bed! You’ll get crumbs everywhere!” Sasuke lectured and grabbed the box from Naruto. The blonde responded by rolling his eyes and returned to the text messages that seemed to come in rapid succession. 

Curling up on his side he looked up at Naruto. He trailed his eyes along Naruto’s jawbone. It made a ninety degree angle and he had to force himself not to reach out and brush his thumb against it. His soft face of childhood was gone. Naruto wanted to pretend they were children. Easier said than done. 

“Why did you kick me out…?”

Naruto rolled his eyes down greeting Sasuke. He knew it. Naruto wasn’t being serious. The look he gave Sasuke was a ‘what are you kidding?’ look. The look he gave Sasuke belittled him and his feelings. 

“Because you wouldn’t let me bash his face in with a baseball bat,” Naruto said with a smirk.

“Everything about him irritates me. The way he dresses, the way he talks, that shit eating grin. He even tried to make a pass at Ino. Like he hasn’t already copied everything I’m doing, he went after Ino. Only surprise. Ino’s queer...and her type is female not fun sized boys. Because -let's be honest- if someone wants a candy bar they want king sized,” Naruto had word vomit and everything came out in a nonlinear way. 

“No. That isn’t an answer,” Sasuke said aggressively. “Give me a real answer Naruto.” 

“He made a good point. You’re the class prez. The student council will be judging the talent show. It’s too risky to have you with us. I don’t want to win that way.” 

“No. That’s not an answer I accept!” 

Naruto pushed himself into a seated position -crossing his legs- arms resting in his lap. Cell phone -that continued to vibrate- forgotten. Sasuke scowled. His blood boiled. He wanted to really hurt Naruto. 

“Why are you so angry? You didn’t want to do it anyways. Think of it this way you’ll be off the hook,” Naruto said sardonically. 

“I wanted to do it because you asked me. I wanted to do it, okay? I wanted to perform with you.” 

“Oh? You did!” Naruto spoke breaking out into his bright smile of sunshine and warmth. 

“Yeah you stupid-idiot. Who’d probably choke on his own tongue if it wasn’t attached.” 

“Shit-shit-shit! What are we going to do now?” Naruto asked bringing both hands to either side of his face. He shoved Sasuke’s shoulder and began kicking him. “Why didn’t you tell me earlier! I never would have said it if I’d known!”

“Ouch you’re hurting me!” Sasuke yelled as Naruto continued to kick him. In the shoulder, against his bicep, in the stitch of his side, against his hip bone. 

“Good! I didn’t know! You have to tell me these things I can’t read your mind!” Naruto answered angrily. 

It was another reaction. He balled up his fists and struck Sasuke in the chest -raised his balled fists to strike again- Sasuke grabbed Naruto’s wrists and shoved the blonde backwards. Pinning him beneath him. Only it didn’t work accordingly. Sasuke slipped between Naruto’s legs, his chest pressed against Naruto’s chest, and Sasuke slammed Naruto’s wrists down on either side of his head in an ‘omph’. 

“Well...maybe you should try -reading my mind- instead of being so self-absorbed in your own little world -because- over the past couple of months you’ve been nothing but shitty towards me and I’m sick and tired of it,” Sasuke breathed heavily. 

“Okay-okay-okay,” Naruto answered quickly. He tried to break free from Sasuke, but the other boy only tightened his grip. Nails breaking skin. He remained pinned. 

“I’m not finished,” Sasuke continued, he moved so that he was on all fours -pushing Naruto’s hands deeper into the bed- and moving his head so it was parallel to Naruto’s, “If you keep doing this. I’m not going to be your friend any longer. It hurts too much. Being with you...sometimes it really fucking hurts.” 

“I’m sor…”

“No! Don’t apologize. Just..stop being so selfish all the time.”

Sasuke stared down at Naruto for a little while. He wanted to know his words sunk in. Even if it just grazed the surface. Satisfied, he released Naruto and pulled away. He climbed out of the bed and moved towards the spiral staircase. He paused. Spun around and grabbed a pillow and a blanket off Naruto’s bed, and went back to the spiral staircase. Descending. 

“Where are you going?”

“I’m sleeping on the couch!” Sasuke yelled up in response. 

Sasuke collapsed on the couch. He buried his face in Naruto’s pillow and covered up in Naruto’s blanket. The smell of Naruto filled him up. It was comforting. The soothing smell calmed Sasuke down. Only not really. He felt himself trembling. Felt his heartbeat like a jackhammer against his chest. It hurt. Being near Naruto hurt...and he just wanted Naruto to know so that he’d make a conscious effort not to hurt him more than what he was already doing.


	8. My passion's never-ending and I'll love you till Tuesday

#  **My passion's never-ending and I'll love you till Tuesday**

 

“Ne, Sasuke? Naruto’s really-really talented. I get excited watching him -listening to him- like he’s going to make it...isn’t he? I can feel it in my stomach. He’s different...” 

Sakura was bent over the student council desk at a ninety degree angle with her elbows propped up. She wore a pleated skirt and an oversized cardigan. In her hands held her cellphone -horizontal- a large tickle-me-pink plush ball attached to her phone case. The ball bounced as she rocked back and forth moving her body to the rhythm of the music that came out of the speakers. She was watching the video Naruto uploaded of him singing and Sasuke accompanying him on piano. Paparazzi. It was her seventh time listening. 

“How many times are you going to watch that?!” Sasuke asked feeling his composure on it’s last threads. 

He looked up from a stack of registration papers for the talent show -he had to sort out the order of the performers into time slots- and offered a bilious expression. Dark circles under his eyes. He didn’t sleep a wink. Couldn’t eat. Felt nauseous. His head teetered on a tension headache. The remnants of last night felt like a bad hangover, and it left him short-tempered and ill-mannered. Which brings him to the video Naruto posted online. He never explicitly gave Naruto permission to upload a video of him, but once again, he did things without taking Sasuke’s feelings into consideration. 

“Somebody woke up on the wrong side of the bed,” she commented. She exited out of the video and lowered her phone. “Are you going to tell me what bug crawled up your ass, or are you going to sulk the whole lunch hour?” 

“I slept on the couch last night,” Sasuke answered as if that was explanation enough. Sakura looked at him deadpan and rolled her hand as if to say ‘go on’. Psychiatric Help. Five cents. The doctor is in. 

His limbs were sore, he rubbed his shoulder, and rolled his head around. He didn’t know when he became so comfortable with Sakura and when the lunch hour became therapy session in the student council room. One thing lead to another. Sasuke, the class president, sought advisement from Sakura: the third party. It just happened. He told Sakura everything that happened last night. He started at the beginning when Naruto invited him into the apartment and stopped at the end when Sasuke slept on the couch. 

When he was done her jaw dropped.

“Wait-wait-wait. Let me get this straight. He invited you to sleep with him -share his bed with him- and you pinned him down and straddled him -on his bed- and then...you slept on the couch?”

“Y-yeah…”

“Oh god it’s like those TV shows where it ends with ‘it was all a dream’. Complete shitty endings. Are you the stupid one Sasuke? Naruto doesn’t know how you feel it isn’t his fault. Instead of telling him you won’t be his friend tell him how you feel.”

“What like I’m just supposed to tell him?”

“Uh-yeah!”

“And ruin everything?” 

“I think you’re ruining things enough on your own, prez. Self-defeating behaviors I’m learning about it in my AP psych class.” 

There was a knock on the door. Both jerked their heads towards the noise. Naruto opened the door effectively interrupting the conversation. Sakura pulled back into a standing position, clutching her phone behind her back, her eyes growing wide, and an expression that said ‘speak of the devil’. 

Sasuke left early in the morning to avoid an awkward encounter with Naruto and he was expecting the blonde to keep his distance -like he always did- while they were at school. He wasn’t betting on Naruto walking into the student council room. He felt anxiety well up fearing the worst. He was at a loss for words. 

“Hey…” Naruto greeted with a lukewarm half-smile. Reading the room. No response. Silence permeated the air. Sakura and Sasuke both unconsciously held their breaths. Neither expecting Naruto to appear, and both wondering if Naruto heard anything -if at all- about their conversation. 

Naruto walked to the desk Sasuke was seated behind. The only sound was his shoes squeaking against the floor. Skateboard tucked under one hand, and the other held a piece of paper. He wore a too-tight David Bowie t-shirt, the red, white and blue flannel shirt -that was on the couch and Sasuke may or may not have slept on- was wrapped around his waist. Complete with a leather studded belt, and the same high-top converses he had for the past two years. 

“I have that interest form for the visit to the university,” Naruto said handing the piece of paper to Sasuke, but he didn’t take it. His blue eyes moved from Sakura to Sasuke. Feeling the heaviness of the room. It was suffocating. 

“Uh...I guess I’ll just leave it here then?” Naruto asked nervously as he placed it at the corner of the desk. Still no response. “Can we talk about last night?” He asked Sasuke and then turned his attention to Sakura, “Sakura can you give us some privacy?” 

“Yeah-sure! No prob. I’ll leave, get a coke from the vending machine, or something,” Sakura spoke nodding her head. Sasuke stood up slamming his hands on the desk. It caused Naruto -and Sakura- to jump. She froze pantomiming a nutcracker. 

“No. Sakura stay. Whatever you have to say, Naruto, you can say it in front of Sakura.” 

Sakura turned and gave Sasuke a helpless expression that screamed ‘please don’t put me into the middle of this’. It felt like mommy and daddy were fighting and using her as a pawn. Naruto glanced nervously at Sakura, and she turned her pained expression to him as if nonverbally communicating she wanted no part in this conversation, and would very much like to be somewhere far-far from here. Naruto smiled and shrugged. 

“I guess it isn’t important. Sorry to bother you. Chao.” 

Naruto flashed a peace sign and left the room; closing the door behind him. Sakura spun on her heels at Sasuke. Nostrils flaring. Face turning red with anger. Ready to impale Sasuke with her bullhorns. She’d go through his gut first. 

“What the hell is wrong with you?”

“I don’t know! I panicked! Why do I keep doing these things?” Sasuke said shakily. 

“Self-defeating behaviors!

“Stop saying that!”

“It’s true. Are you going back to the apartment tonight?”

“Should I?”

“Yes! You’re going to alienate him even more if you don’t!”

“You should come over...for support,” Sasuke suggested. 

“Fii~ne.”

*****

It was past 8pm and Sasuke kept staring nervously at the roman numeral clock on the wall. Watching the second hand make another round around the perimeter. He and Sakura were sitting at the coffee table. Homework sprawled out in front of them. Naruto hadn’t returned, and he didn’t know when he would return. His thoughts kept turning to Naruto and him confessing he didn’t want to be alone.

“Maybe he isn’t coming home tonight,” Sakura said; saying what Sasuke was thinking all along. 

There was the noise of a key sliding into the lock at the front door followed by loud laughter and voices. Naruto who had impeccable timing opened the door and came in followed by Kiba and Ino. 

“Bro~you’re going to get yourself wrecked if you keep messing around with them. You may have won, but you gotta watch it,” Kiba said shoving Naruto in the shoulder, and he kicked his shoes off. 

“Nah, I never lose a bet. I’ll be fine. Don’t worry about it. Lucky sevens. What I need is a fucking drink,” Naruto laughed kicking off his own converses. Ino held up the bag full of alcohol. 

“Lucky Sevens? You keep saying that maybe that’s what we should call the band.”

“Okay, Lucky Sevens, you only won because he couldn’t take his eyes away from my breasts!” Ino contributed as she slipped off her shoes and followed Naruto. 

Naruto stopped when he saw Sasuke and Sakura sitting at the coffee table. Kiba and Ino turned to see them and looked at Naruto for an explanation. 

“Uh...Hey Sasuke I didn’t think you’d be here tonight. Sakura you’re here too,” Naruto spoke not hiding the shock from his face and voice.

“If it isn’t our class prez and the wet blanket,” Ino spoke callus and with a jut of her hip. 

“Yo.” Kiba greeted. 

“I told mom that I was watching Itachi’s apartment while he was out. She’d only ask questions if I came back, questions, that would be hard to explain if you didn’t want her to find out you’re staying here,” Sasuke answered. He was surprised he came up with an explanation so quickly on the fly. 

“Where did you get the alcohol?” Sakura asked eyeing the bag that Ino held. 

“Naruto you said you had the apartment to yourself. How are we supposed to drink with the class prez and wet blanket here?” Ino complained. 

“Simple we just open up the bottle and bring it to our lips,” Naruto said as he slipped his hand into the bag and pulled out a draft beer. He moved his keychain, where a bottle opener in the shape of a key dangled, and popped the cap off. “Like this.” Naruto continued and brought the bottle to his mouth where he took a swig. He pulled it away and let out an enthusiastic, “~Ah!”

As Sakura watched Naruto drink she began to feel excitement grow in the pit of her stomach. It whirled around as if she just took the first plunge on a roller coaster. That feeling rushed through her chest, spreading into her limbs, and flushed her cheeks with a new energy. The lifestyle Naruto led was envious, and she wanted a taste. Even if it was just one free sample. Standing up, she moved past Ino, and grabbed the beer bottle from Naruto’s hand. 

“S-Sakura…” Naruto said with surprise, but didn’t stop her, wanting to see how it all played out. She brought the bottle to her mouth and took a swig. Her face twisted up in disgust. The hoppy dark liquid stung as it washed down her throat. She shuddered but continued drinking until she finished off the bottle in one go. Every last drop. She pulled away gasping. 

Sasuke couldn’t bring his attention away from Sakura, who did the very thing Sasuke wanted to do, but lacked the self-assurance and unabashed attitude to actually follow through. His mind went to that dark place in the back of his mind. Picturing instead of the bottle against Naruto’s lips it was Sasuke...fuck he wanted to be that bottle. 

“I’m not always a wet blanket,” Sakura exhaled still catching her breath. The draft beer was an acquired taste, but it didn’t leave a bad aftertaste. Her eyes focused intently on Ino; challenging her to open her big-fat mouth and say another disrespectful word. If she did Sakura knew she was going to slug Ino in the face. A mischievous smile spread Ino’s painted lips, she gave an approved nod, and raised her eyebrows in a devilish way. 

“Alright,” Ino said congratulatory and handed Sakura an unopened bottle. Naruto helped Sakura open it with the bottle opener. Ino crawled onto the couch taking a bottle and bringing her own bottle opener to the cap and joining her followed Kiba. Sasuke turned his attention to Naruto. 

“Sakura…it’s a school night,” Sasuke warned and he glared at Naruto who was enabling her. The blonde shrugged his shoulder; purposely avoiding Sasuke’s intense glaze. 

“If it makes you uncomfortable, class prez. You can always leave...if not shut up,” Naruto said nonchalantly, grabbing a bottle, popping the cap, and bringing it to his lips. He finally turned his attention to Sasuke and gave him a coy smile as he swallowed. 

“Homework time is over,” Naruto continued as he moved to the wireless stereo system. Turning it on it instantly connected to his smart phone. The bluetooth speakers were strategically placed around the apartment to project that live concert vibe. Matt Bellamy’s voice came all around in surround sound. 

“Ah Mathew-fucking-Bellamy,” Kiba said, grabbing his opened beer bottle, and raising it up high above his head. Naruto raised his own up, they did an air cheer, and drank in unison. 

“Soon you’ll be saying Naruto-fucking-Uzumaki,” Naruto answered. Kiba tossed his head back and laughed. 

Naruto was rocking his body to the rhythm guitar. When the chorus came in so didn’t Naruto. Matching his pitch to Bellamy’s but it came out more seductive; more lewd. He moved as if he was getting slowly fucked on the dance floor. It was turning Sasuke on. He swallowed. He didn’t want to leave the apartment he wanted to stay with Naruto. He wanted to pull Naruto into the bathroom and apologize for his earlier behavior. 

Sasuke stood up and walked towards Naruto -who- continued singing the lyrics of ‘Time is Running Out’. It was gritty. It was raw. It was beautiful. He grabbed the beer bottle from Naruto’s hand and brought it to his lips. Making sure Naruto had his eyes on him as he swallowed. Ino began cat-calling and clapping her hands. Sakura leaned over the couch and grinned. Kiba pulled out a deck of cards and held it up.

“Whose in for some strip poker? Texas Holdem.” 

“Just plain poker, common’, we’re with amateurs, we’re not with Itachi’s friends,” Naruto interrupted. Sasuke looked at Naruto from the corner of his eye. Every part of that sentence Naruto said caused the green-eyed beast -within- to rear it’s ugly head and roar. It was another thing added to the list he was going to confront Itachi on. Playing strip poker with Naruto. He put asterisks by it and filed it accordingly in the back of his mind. 

“I’ll play strip poker,” Sakura said raising her hand in the air as if to volunteer as tribute. She was feeling the rush of alcohol and for just one night didn't want to be labeled as a wet blanket. Ino agreed and Kiba cried out in delight. Naruto reading the crowd shrugged. Accepting the majority rule. Giving the people what they wanted. Let them eat cake. 

“What do you say class prez? Want to play strip poker with me?” Naruto asked tilting his head. Sasuke stared into those iceberg eyes. It was always winter-blue in those eyes. Below freezing. He wondered if he grinded his naked body against Naruto’s naked body if he’d be able to warm those eyes up. Turn them from the arctic ocean to the mediterranean sea. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. He had to stop thinking. 

“Strip poker?” Sasuke asked turning away from Naruto -he had to for his own mental health- and joined Kiba on the couch. “Let’s play a couple of rounds. If anyone breathes a word about this I’ll have the lot of you suspended.” 

“What are these cards?” Sasuke asked as he was dealt his first hand. There were depictions of ancient Greek lovers in black and orange one-dimensional artwork on each card. Explicit. NC-17. Men on men. Women on Women. Men and Women. Gang bangs. Orgies. Things he wanted to do with Naruto...to Naruto.

“I picked these up last summer when my family took a trip to Greece. Let’s just say they’re more open when it comes to sexuality and more adventurous when it comes to their sexual appetites,” Kiba answered. 

Sasuke’s face flushed and turned a faint pink. Embarrassed over his perverse thoughts. He caught Naruto staring at him and he turned away. 

“Awh~look at the class prez. He’s blushing. Do they hurt your virgin eyes?” Ino teased.

“Shuddup, Ino!” Sakura defended.

“There’s nothing wrong with being a virgin. I’m a half-virgin,” Ino defended. It immediately caused Sakura to blush. 

“Half...virgin?” Sakura asked. 

“Yeah...it means she’s only had penetration in one hole,” Kiba answered. 

“Does the mouth count?” Ino asked. “If so...maybe I’m only a quarter of a virgin.” 

“There’s nothing wrong with being a whole virgin,” Sakura said boldly. 

“I mean. I may be a quarter virgin for life. What can I say...I love women too much. But I’m not going to say I won’t try anything in my ass. The last girl put a finger in my butt and I came instantly,” Kiba answered. "Made me wondered what would happen if something bigger went up there." 

“Hinanta?” Ino asked with a quirked eyebrow.

“Maybe…” Kiba answered. 

“I knew she was a freak. So why don’t you just date her officially again?” 

“She doesn’t want too. Those Hyuga’s are very old-school and old-fashioned. Always acting like they got a stick up their ass. A little too-incesty. They’re about keeping the bloodline in the family. But you know all about the Hyuga’s, doncha’ Naruto? Tell me again what Neji wanted you to do?” 

Naruto who had intentionally remained silent looked up from his hand to see all eyes on him. He had taken a seat on the floor, cross-legged. He smiled at the audience ready to perform. 

“I mean...Neji was into some some freaky things. But I don’t kiss and tell. Ya’ll know that,” Naruto answered. 

Sasuke felt his heart explode. There was so much about Naruto’s life he wasn’t aware of. He only saw the tip of the iceberg as it floated in the ocean. Unaware of the massive chunk of ice beneath the surface. Naruto was so far out of reach even if he tried sprinting towards him it felt like he’d never reach him. The only thing he knew was Naruto wasn’t a virgin...he lost his virginity to Ino. There was no mention of Hyuga Neji. The Hyuga’s were pale-faced, sullen, and quiet. They didn’t associate with anyone so Sasuke wondered just what transcended for Kiba and Hinata to hook up...and even more how Naruto and Neji crossed paths. Thinking about it hurt and made breathing difficult. 

He was the class president and didn’t know fucking anything. 

“Class prez, are you okay?” Naruto asked. Sasuke turned and looked at him. He wasn’t okay. He wanted to vomit. He wanted to leave. He wanted to first...vomit...and then leave. He did neither. Instead forced a smile. He wanted to stay more than ever. Wanted to witness more of Naruto’s life even for just one night. 

“Mhm. Let’s place bets now,” Sasuke answered. 

*****

The roman numeral clock was a quarter to ten o’clock. 

The alcohol was all but empty except for whatever was left in their last bottles. Sasuke and Ino were losing exponentially. There was a cruel god working against them. Sasuke was left in his boxers, and Ino in her bra and panties. 

Naruto was fully clothed; much to Sasuke’s disappointment. A cruel god -indeed- to not even allow Naruto to show a little skin. It was during the course of the game that Sasuke found out Naruto was -ridiculously- good at Texas Holdem, and wagered a bet against some of Itachi’s friends. If he won they’d buy the alcohol. Although...nobody fessed up on what would have happened if Naruto lost. Kiba, Ino, and Naruto all took a vow of silence. It pissed Sasuke off. He wanted to know what Naruto put on the line. 

The only reprieve was that Naruto hadn’t taken his eyes off Sasuke the entire game. The two sat parallel from each other. Sasuke was positive. He even tried to ignore Naruto but could still see him watching him from the corner of his eyes. If Sasuke had to get naked for Naruto to focus all his attention on him then it was what he was going to do. He was playing to lose. He wanted Naruto to see his naked body. The thought of it flushed his skin and excited him. 

“Okay everyone show their cards,” Kiba demanded. It was the last round.

The cards were revealed. Naruto had a straight flush. Kiba had a three of a kind. Sakura and Ino both had a pair. Sasuke had nothing. He lost the last round. 

“Drop 'em, prez!” Ino demanded as she clapped her hands. 

Sasuke stood up, his thumbs slipping under the band of his boxers. He felt aroused. Naruto was staring him up and down. He could feel the blood rush to his groin once more as he caught Naruto's gaze. Maybe it was the alcohol. This time he didn’t care if he had an erection. He wanted to pull his boxers down while locking eyes with Naruto. Before he could Naruto was jumping up, and appeared in front of Sasuke. Naruto’s hands secured around Sasuke’s waist, gripping his boxers, and keeping them up all in one fluid movement.

“Don’t,” Naruto said angrily his mouth inches from Sasuke’s ear. Naruto’s hot breath against his ear sent tingles down his spine.

“Ok...I’m ending the game. Let’s call it a night...it’s a school night after all you degenerates!” Naruto said with a cocky smile, spinning around to the rest of their guests. 

Sasuke collapsed on the couch, as Naruto continued playing host. Time was moving slow. He didn’t know how much he drank, but he drank on an empty stomach. He didn’t know how much time passed but Naruto appeared in front of him. It was the first time he felt intoxicated. It felt like the rug was pulled out from under his feet, and he was suspended, in mid-fall. That feeling of falling captivated him in an endless loop and no matter how many times he told himself he wasn't falling he couldn't shake the feeling. 

“S’ske...are you okay?” Naruto asked. Sasuke noticed the music stopped playing. Whatever he was hearing must have been an internal song only he could hear. 

“Mhm.” 

“Here drink some water.” 

Sasuke drank the water. He finished the glass and Naruto turned to the kitchen to refill it.The apartment was empty. The empty bottles of booze were in the trash. The apartment was cleaned up. The faint smell of alcohol and sweat permeated the air. Sasuke broke the silence. 

“I don’t know anything about you anymore, Naruto. I used to know everything about you and now I barely know anything.” 

Naruto didn’t say anything. He finished walking to the kitchen and filled the glass up with water. He walked back to Sasuke and handed him the water. He didn’t acknowledge Sasuke’s statement instead was more practical. 

“Are you sleeping on the couch tonight?” 

“I want to sleep with you tonight.” 

“I don’t...I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Naruto spoke nervously his eyes shifting to the side. 

“Why not you offered last night. What’s different about tonight?” Sasuke asked angrily. 

“Nothing,” Naruto exhaled. “Nothing is different.” 

*****

Sasuke was only able to complete half his nighttime routine. He pissed. Washed his face. Brushed his teeth. The rest he saved for another day. Dressed in clean boxers and his pajamas, he ascended the spiral staircase, to the loft where Naruto was already in bed. The blonde laid curled up on his stomach his face turned away from Sasuke. Eyes closed. Pretending to sleep. He felt pathetic. He should have stayed on the couch. Slipping under the covers he laid on his back. The room was dark, but the light from outside caused Sasuke to see outlines and some color in the room. He didn’t feel tired at all. He felt wide awake. As if he had a shot of espresso. He felt wired. 

“Why did you stop me from pulling my boxers down?” Sasuke asked. Naruto rustled, rolled over to his side, and faced Sasuke. He answered a question with a question.

“Why were you purposely trying to lose?”

“You noticed?”

“It was obvious...at least to me.” 

“I don’t know what’s wrong with me…” Sasuke confessed. “It feels like I’m going crazy.” 

“Answer my question...why were you trying to lose?” 

“Because I wanted you to see me naked.” 

Naruto pushed himself up at the brutal honesty of Sasuke's response, and stared down at the boy in his bed. 

“Sasuke...do you like me-like me?” Naruto asked. Sasuke pulled himself up. He was going to blame it on the alcohol. It was enough to give him liquid courage. All his inhibitions were down. His inner voice of reason -which kept him silent since the moment he realized he was in love with Naruto- was asleep. 

“Yes.” 

It was Sasuke who made the first move. He didn’t wait for a response. Sasuke wrapped his hands on either side of Naruto’s face and pulled him close. Kissing him. If it backfired (oh god he wished it didn’t) he was going to blame it on the alcohol. Sasuke thought back to how many bottles of beer Naruto drink. The first one: Sakura polished off. The second one: Sasuke stole. The third one: Naruto nursed the entire night. 

If Naruto kissed him back it meant something, because he was completely fucking sober. Those were the facts. 

Naruto kissed him back. He opened his mouth and Sasuke was able to taste Naruto’s tongue (oh god) his mouth. It tasted of cheery cheesecake, churros, baklava, rum cake, lamingtons all combined into an orgasmic flavor. He could go around the world sampling the best desserts and Naruto’s mouth would still be the sweetest. 

Naruto was needy and his fingers brushed against Sasuke’s arms. Sasuke was pushing Naruto back until his spine pressed against the mattress and Sasuke was straddling him. Sasuke’s erection grew hard, and pressed painfully against his clothing, begging for release. 

“Haa..ahh..nnn,” Naruto moaned as Sasuke brought his hand between Naruto’s legs. He wanted to see if Naruto was just as turned on. Feeling Naruto’s own erect member sent Sasuke wild, filled him with confidence, and he continued.

He wanted to devour Naruto. It was a beastly desire. The wolf who wanted Little Red Riding Hood that he’d kill -and cannibalize- the grandmother to get to her. 

“S’ske…” Naruto moaned as Sasuke brought his mouth to Naruto’s neck right below the jawline. Yes. He wanted Naruto to moan his name. He wanted Naruto to empty his mind of absolutely everything except for Sasuke. He wanted to fill every part of Naruto with himself in every way. Physically, emotionally, and mentally. 

Sasuke wrapped his mouth around a section of his soft skin and began to suck. He continued to stroke Naruto’s erect member through his pajama bottoms. Up and down. Teasing him. He needed Naruto. Sasuke lifted Naruto’s shirt. One hand going to his pink nipple where he began to rub, and tug, and twist the nub -until it too- stood to attention. Sasuke brought his mouth to Naruto’s erect nipple and with his tongue began to circle the areola. It sent more moans to escape from the blonde. He brought his mouth around the nipple and began to suck it, and then bit it hard with his teeth. 

“Mnhm...nhn...ah!” 

Both of Naruto’s nipples were erect. The blonde didn’t stop him, and instead wrapped his legs around Sasuke's torso, jutting his hips up so his cock continued to brush up against Sasuke's. He wanted to feel Naruto’s skin up against his. He pulled Naruto’s shirt off. Sasuke brought his mouth back to Naruto’s. He needed to taste that sweetness. It was warm and inviting. Naruto’s tongue greeted him becomingly. Like a good host. Sasuke began to rub his own erection -more forcefully- up against Naruto’s. It was a new kind of pleasure. It sent electric bolts up and down Sasuke’s spine, moreso because it was Naruto that was making Sasuke feel this way. 

Naruto was moving his hands to Sasuke’s shirt, tugging up at it, wanting Sasuke to discard it. He graciously agreed. Sasuke continued to grind up against Naruto. Only he was growing impatient. He needed Naruto’s cock. Sasuke began pulling Naruto’s boxers down.

“S’ske..wait~” Naruto moaned his fingers tangling themselves in Sasuke’s hair. 

It was too late. Sasuke had freed Naruto’s cock. It was swollen and twitching up against Naruto’s stomach. He didn’t hesitate. He grabbed hold of Naruto’s member with his hand and brought his mouth to the tip. Coating the head in salvia. He circled his tongue around the tip of the penis, making sure he spent careful attention on the slit. It was there when white cum slipped out of the slit. It tasted salty and sweet. He pulled Naruto’s boxers and pajamas off and discarded them off to the side. They were only in the way. 

Sasuke continued to perform fellatio on his best friend. He took Naruto into his mouth and what didn’t fit he began to pump up and down with his hands. 

“Mhm...ahh...Sas-uke...ahh! Stop...” Naruto cried out. He arched his back, his head slamming against the mattress, his fingers pulled Sasuke’s hair violently. Naruto climaxed in Sasuke’s mouth. It filled him up. There was a faint taste of pineapple. He swallowed everything Naruto pumped into his mouth. Still. Naruto remained erect. Sasuke was going to have to fix this. He wanted Naruto fully satisfied, wrecked, and limp cocked.

“What...are...you…” Naruto tried to speak but he trailed off. Sasuke brought his tongue to Naruto’s anus. It was already puckering. He circled the hole with his tongue and then pressed his tongue into the pink hole. Even here tasted delicious. It tasted salty, bitter. The skin was so soft. It was the softest part of Naruto. He didn’t think it could be this soft. It felt like silk against his tongue. Sasuke moved a finger to the opening and pressed in. 

“Nhn~Sasuke...ah…”

Sasuke entered Naruto with his finger. His anus was coated in sweat and secretion. He began moving inside. It was warmness -a hotness- he never experience before. He began massaging and opening up Naruto; wanting to open him up more. He wanted to know if he could insert two fingers...and he could. They slipped inside Naruto. Vanishing. Naruto’s insides wrapped around him like a warm, tight, hug. He began to scissor Naruto. Opening him up deeper. 

“Sasuke...I...want you in me…please...I want you to fuck me. I want you to fuck me so hard I can’t walk tomorrow,” Naruto begged. His mouth was dirty and his words sick. They were already past the point of no return. Sasuke had no choice but to comply. He wanted to satisfy Naruto in every way. 

Sasuke looked up to see his face. The expression he made caused Sasuke to turn a deep shade of crimson. Naruto was panting. Sweat coated his body. His face flushed. His chest heaving. Salvia rolled down Naruto's mouth. His eyelids half-hooded. The expression was one he never witnessed Naruto wearing before. He pulled his fingers from inside Naruto. It was an intimate expression -he momentarily lost himself- he never wanted Naruto to show anybody else this expression. 

Naruto helped Sasuke from his boxers and pajama bottoms. Sasuke spit on his finger tips and smeared the saliva around the hole and positioned the head of his penis at the hole his fingers formed. Naruto was sprawled on his back. Sasuke pressed both of his thighs to the side. Opening up his legs and hips up. He began to thrust his cock into Naruto's ass. It was tight. Every thrust sent moans of pleasure escaping the blonde’s lips. Each thrust caused more sweat to bead on Sasuke’s flesh, as he opened up Naruto slowly, and more bursts of ecstasy exploded inside. 

“Sasuke...Sasuke…” Naruto moaned. Sasuke looked at the blonde's head jerking up and down, being rocked, with each thrust of Sasuke's cock.

“Naruto~!” Sasuke exhaled as he thrust and he was fully inside. Naruto wrapped around his cock and pulled him deeper in. 

He began moving his hips in a swivel motion; opening him up, and he thrusted once he was satisfied with the progress his cock made. He wanted Naruto’s body to adapt to Sasuke...wanted his body to know every inch of Sasuke and respond accordingly. Sasuke lifted one of Naruto’s legs up so that it was resting on his shoulder. He continued to thrust inside Naruto. One arm wrapped around Naruto's thigh pushing up, and the other went to Naruto's ass cheek and spread it more. It didn’t feel real. It felt like they were transported from reality in rocket ship headed for the moon. Ground Control to Major Tom.

“Does it hurt…” Sasuke asked as he continued to thrust.

“No...faster...fuck me harder! Please, S'ske!” Naruto was panting, and Sasuke complied. He increased his speed. The sound of skin slapping against skin. The sound of Naruto’s whimpers and moaning. Nauto's head banged up against the wall, but Sasuke didn't change positions. Naruto's hands moved until they pressed up against the wall preventing his skull from banging up against it as Sasuke continued to rock his body. The sound of Sasuke’s own panting, breathless, breath. It was a beautiful sound. The smell of the juices of Naruto’s body mixed with Sasuke’s was going to be his favorite smell. 

Sasuke leaned down and pressed his mouth to Naruto as his cock continued to pound Naruto. Hard. Fast. Just like he requested. Sasuke hit the right angel. He found the perfect position. His cock kept hitting against Naruto’s prostrate gland. 

“Sasuke...yes...right there...faster...please…” Naruto was begging as soon as Sasuke stopped kissing him. It was the sweatiest sound in the world almost as beautiful as his singing voice. Bright light began to flash across Sasuke’s eyes. His mind was going blank. It entered another platform of human desire. The feeling was slowly building. It was a feeling he never felt before. Even when he masturbated it was never this intense. He exploded. Like the jet engines of a rocket ship and they broke through the atomsphere and into space. He came and he filled Naruto’s orifice up with his cum. 

Naruto went limp in Sasuke’s arms. Sasuke pulled his cock from inside Naruto, and watched, as white cum poured out of his asshole; soiling the mattress and sheets. 

“Are you...okay...Naruto?” Sasuke asked his voice panicking. The blonde stirred and opened his eyes. There was a lewd expression. Another first to Sasuke. It was the look of sexual desire.

“Again…please...Sasuke...again” Naruto demanded.


	9. The forces of evil in a bozo nightmare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> >   
> A/N:
>> 
>> Warning: Implied child sexual abuse, attempted murder, and exploring child sexuality. It's necessary to explain why Naruto hates Izumi.  
> 

#  **The forces of evil in a bozo nightmare**

 

Naruto’s body was burning up; beads of sweat rolled down the sides of his face, damping his hair. His throat clenched and the insides felt bruised. There was a pounding in his head that left him dizzy and fatigued. He turned the key into the front door lock, and with a weak smile he pushed it open. He made it home. Panting, he dropped his school bag and kicked his shoes off; leaving them where they fell. He felt incredibly weak and all he wanted to do was to go to sleep. 

‘I’m home’, Naruto thought as he looked around the apartment. 

Naruto left the school without permission. The school nurse forced Naruto to lay down while she called Mikoto to pick him up. He was running a fever. He told the nurse he could walk home by himself and didn’t need Mikoto to pick him up. It was his bad luck he got sick on the last day of school. Everybody was outside enjoying the fun games, and rides set up behind the school in celebration -and Naruto- he didn’t want to listen to their cheers and laughter anymore. Especially, since he couldn’t join them. 

He wasn’t able to convince her to let him walk home by himself. The nurse insisted, and when she turned to leave, Naruto jumped out the open window, backpack and all, and walked home. 

He opened the bedroom door -only- there was someone -else- sitting on the edge of the bed -his bed- back to the door, making grunting -wet- noises. He held onto a magazine in one hand and the other made jerking motions. The older boy, who appeared to be around Itachi’s age, jumped up and spun around as soon as Naruto slammed the door against the wall. Naruto was making his presence known and it worked. 

“Who are you?” Naruto demanded his voice dropping low and eyes narrowing. 

“AHHH~!” the boy screamed. 

Naruto’s eyes widened at the sight of his privates. He’d never seen a penis look like that before: it was engorged, almost angry looking, and pointed up towards the ceiling erected from a bush of brown curly hair. It was much bigger than Naruto’s and it frightened him. The other boy’s penis hit his lower stomach, twitched, and white liquid sprayed out of the tip of the penis; spraying all over Naruto’s comforter set. Ruining it. The ones with green frogs and lily pads all over. That bastard! 

“I’m calling the police you're a bad man! Very bad man!” Naruto yelled at the intruder. He turned on his heels and began running -full throttle- towards the phone that was on the kitchen wall.

“Wait! Wait! Let me explain!” the boy yelled from behind. Naruto heard footsteps thumping behind him. He grabbed the phone off the hook, and spun around, just as the older boy appeared. 

“You’re Naruto right? I’m Uchiha Shisui!!” 

“You’re a bad man! Bad men go to jail! I’m calling the police!” Naruto clutched the phone in his hand and his thumb brushed against the number 9. He narrowed his eyes at the older boy -refusing to take his eyes off him- in case he tried to pull something. Only...his eyes dropped back down to his nakedness. The penis which was once engorged and angry was now flaccid and soft. 

“No! I’m not! I swear~I’m Itachi’s and Sasuke’s cousin! Mikoto just left to pick you up from school. I swear!” 

“What were you doing? You ruined my blankets!” Naruto yelled angrily. He had half a mind to still call the police on that basis alone. 

“I...well...um...it’s uh private…” Shisui -whose face turned scarlet- stuttered. He collapsed to his knees and slapped his hands together in prayer. 

“Ah...you’re a pervert!” Naruto accused pointing a finger at him. He remembered Mikoto telling Naruto about perverts and to keep away from them.

“No! I swear I’m not a pervert! Everyone does it~you’ll do it when you’re older! It feels really good you’ll see~”

“I will not. You’re a really big pervert! Ecchi-ecchi! I’m going to tell!” Naruto threatened he felt himself blushing just thinking about what Shisui was doing. No way would he do something so disgusting! Bleh.

“No! That’s not what I met. I swear! Please-please-please!” Shisui begged. He dropped his hands to the floor, and bent over in a formal sign of respect. It was so over the top it softened Naruto a little bit. Shisui wasn't an adult. He looked to be Itachi's age. 

Naruto lowered the phone staring at him. If he was telling the truth then Mikoto would be really mad if he did call the police on her nephew. At this gesture Shisui jumped up and ran towards him, grabbed Naruto’s free hand -with both of his- and shook it profusely. 

“Thank you-thank you-thank you- I swear I’m not a pervert!”

“Ah! Get that thing away from me!” Naruto yelled, jerking his hand from Shisui’s, and pulling his body away from the penis that whirled around like a windmill. 

“Yes...I am so sorry! It’s not what it looks like! Let me go get my clothes on!” Shisui said jumping and running back to the bedroom.

Naruto collapsed, hands holding his weight, legs drawn up; panting. Naruto was nine years old when he was first introduced to Shisui (13) and Izumi (12). Neither meeting went well. Both introductions were probably the worse introductions of all time. 

Mikoto rushed through the front door screaming out Naruto’s name. The blonde was sitting on the couch. Shisui had just put Naruto’s comforter set in the washer, and walked out into the living room. 

“Aunt Mikoto! He’s in here!” Shisui answered. 

Naruto glared up at Shisui. He didn’t trust him. Shisui slapped his hands together pleading silently for Naruto to not tell. Naruto folded his arms and turned his head away from Shisui with a, ‘Hmph’. Mikoto appeared and rushed to Naruto. She was frantic and upset. She was lecturing Naruto on leaving school without permission and walking all the way home by himself (she wouldn’t even let Sasuke walk home by himself), and on top of it he was sick. 

“Why aren’t you in bed?!” Mikoto asked her hands moved to Naruto’s forehead and cheek. He was burning up with a fever. 

“Ask him!” Naruto growled as he pointed to Shisui.

“Yeah I-uh accidentally spilled juice all over his bed...so I’m currently washing it. I’m so-sorry, Naruto! Honestly!” 

“Oh...well accidents happen no need to look so guilty Shisui.” Mikoto nodded appreciatively to her nephew. She began the introductions. 

“Naruto this is Shisui...and Izumi...why don’t you come in and introduce yourself to Naruto, Izumi! Something uh-happened and they’ll be staying with us for a little while.” 

Izumi entered the living room hesitantly. She was a few inches taller than Naruto, a scrawny little thing, despite her real age of twelve. She had a small face, plump lips, almond eyes, and inky-black hair that cascaded down. She had the same eyes as Naruto. They were older. The eyes of an adult. She bowed in front of Naruto in greeting. Something flashed in those black eyes of hers. Something malevolent. He sensed it even if it was only for a fraction of a second. Naruto could sense evil instantly. He glared up at her. Naruto knew in that moment he didn’t like Izumi. It was already cemented. Nothing could change it. 

Something bubbled and churned in the pit of his stomach. He couldn’t stop it. A powerful force caused him to retch, and hot vomit splashed all down the front of Izumi’s pretty pink dress. 

“AH~!” She screamed -a bloodcurdling scream- and stumbled backwards.

*****

Naruto walked -carefully- down the alleyway. A bowl of milk in his hands. He knelt down in front of the dumpster and placed the bowl -carefully- on the ground. He was so careful he didn’t spill it. Not one drop. He sighed in relief.

“Come here kitty-kitty. Look what I brought you,” Naruto coaxed. A calico poked it’s head out from underneath the dumpster. It was small and scrawny. It hesitated at first, but seeing it was Naruto, came all the way out, and approached the dish. The cat began to lap the milk up. Purring. Naruto broke out into an endearing smile. He felt his heart fill up. 

Naruto began patting the cat on the head. A shadow loomed over him and he looked up. It was a monster -Izumi- and there were shadows on her face. It exaggerated her expression, and made her look manic -like a clown. There was crazy in her eyes. It bled down her face and stained her expression. A few cards short from a deck. As crazy as a loon. As mad as a march hair. 

“Whatcha doing, Naruto-kun?” Izumi asked in her sing-song voice. It sent chills down his spine. 

“Get away from me...I don’t like you,” Naruto said in a-matter-of-fact-voice. He stood up. She was only a few inches taller than he was. He wasn’t afraid of her. 

“Is this your friend? Nyaa nyaa..Neko-chan!” Izumi spoke in her baby-voice that she often used to sound cuter and appear more innocent. She bent down slamming her palm -hard against the head- and harshly pet the cat. The calico hissed and clawed at Izumi; drawing blood. Her hand came down and bashed the cat across the face. The cat hollered and ran back under the dumpster.

“Don’t hurt her you ugly-cow!” Naruto cried out and he struck Izumi across the face with all his might. Doing to her what she did to the kitty. 

“Naruto!” it was Itachi he appeared at the entrance of the alleyway. Just in time to witness Naruto slapping Izumi. When Naruto pulled his hand back. He saw thick tears filling Izumi’s eyes, and they rolled dramatically down her face. A red hand print welt formed against Izumi’s cheek. She ran away bawling. Naruto watched as Izumi wrapped her arms around Itachi and cried in his chest. 

After that little incident. Naruto was forced to remain in the home the next day. Mikoto told him he was ‘grounded’, and his punishment was solitary confinement. He wasn’t allowed to leave his room at all (except for bathroom breaks, to eat, and when Mikoto called him to watch her favorite soap opera with him). It was torture when all he wanted to do was play with his new alley-cat friend. 

Naruto returned the following day. Bowl of milk in hand. 

“Nyaa...nyaa!” Naruto spoke unconscious of what he was saying. He was so preoccupied focusing on the bowl in his hands that he wasn’t paying attention to where he was walking. He struck something and stumbled. He looked down and the smile vanished from his mouth. 

He found her rigor mortis body laying on her side. Eyes glassy. Mouth agape. Bloated belly. Covered in flies. He dropped the bowl of milk. It cracked and shattered. Milk splashed against the asphalt. He collapsed to his knees and brought his hands up to his mouth stifling a scream. 

His thoughts turned immediately to Izumi.

*****

Naruto sat at the edge of the bed -nervously twisting his hands- avoiding all eye contact with the pair of brothers who stood in front of him. They both confronted him over his continued mistreatment of Izumi, and no matter how many times Naruto explained what happened they didn’t believe him.

“What do you mean she killed the cat?” Itachi asked skeptically. 

“She did. She’s a bad girl! A bad-bad-bad girl!” Naruto continued holding strong to his convictions. It hurt. They didn’t believe him...and thought him a big fat fibber. A liar-liar pants on fire. 

“Did you see her?” Itachi asked. Naruto shook his head no. “Alley-cats die all the time...it was a coincidence.” 

“No. She did it.” Naruto continued crossing his arms. They didn’t believe him and Naruto wasn’t going to cave. 

“Izumi is really nice and she still wants to play with you. She’s always asking about you,” Sasuke spoke softly. 

“Izumi is a little girl, Naruto…” Itachi continued. “She’s harmless and wouldn’t hurt a fly.”

“No, but she killed a cat,” Naruto grumbled under his breath. 

“Maybe you need to go back to see Shizune,” Itachi suggested. Naruto glared up at Itachi. 

Not only didn’t he believe Naruto but he thought he should go back to his weekly sessions with Shizune. It was only recently that he stopped attending his weekly sessions. The nightmares stopped, the wildness in his eyes became civilized, and his beastly ways turned humane. Naruto liked going to Shizune -until- he found out that only crazy kids went to play therapy...only kids who grew up like Naruto grew up, and he didn't want to go anymore. 

“I’m not crazy!” Naruto yelled not liking what Itachi was insinuating.

“No but you have an overly active imagination.” 

“You’re just a kid you’re not a shrink!” Naruto fired back jumping up on his feet. 

“Just apologize to Izumi and come play with us!” Sasuke said angrily. 

“No!” 

The bedroom door flung open and Izumi appeared throwing her arms up. Her hair drawn into ribbons, and wearing a baby-blue dress.

“Naruto-kun! Let’s go play!”

“Stop calling me that stupid-cow.” 

“Naruto enough! Fine, just stay here and sulk all day for all I care,” Itachi said losing patience quickly with Naruto’s stubbornness. He turned on his heels and ushered Izumi out. Sasuke sighed glanced at Naruto one last time and the blonde stuck his nose up in the air. Sasuke exhaled and left after Itachi and Izumu.

*****

Naruto watched on the sidelines as Izumi immediately became the new shiny toy and saught after by both Sasuke and Itachi. Naruto wanted nothing to do with her as he saw through her mask and saw her true personality. She had all the makings of a perfect predator. She had an infectious laugh, a beautiful face, was intelligent, and charismatic. She wrapped her arms -like a python- around the siblings and refused to let go. Naruto tried to warn them but they didn’t believe him so he stopped.

To Naruto. She was an Inland Taipan. The most venomous snake in the world and he kept her at arms length. 

He was always watching her -waiting- for when she shed her skin so he could -justify- why he hated her so much. He wanted to expose her. To point and reveal what a snake she really was. Yet nothing happened, and several weeks passed since Naruto found the dead cat and he knew...he knew it was Izumi -and still- she hadn’t cracked. She was really good at this game. The only thing Naruto could do was continue to treat her poorly...even though every mean thing he did caused him to become ‘grounded’ and those stints grew. 

“Let’s play cops and robbers!” Izumi said throwing her arms up. 

Every kid on the playground had fallen under her spell. She was magnetic. The shiny new toy who was there for the summer and soon would leave them. They all nodded. All thirteen of them. They were willing to do anything Izumi asked of them. Stupid sheep. Naruto didn’t want to be there. He was dragged there by Sasuke who begged and pleaded for Naruto to -just be nice- and -just come and play- just -this one time- please. 

“We’ll do it in pairs! Sasuke and I will be the police~everyone else will be the robbers, now everyone pick a partner!” Izumi explained and she wrapped an arm around Sasuke hugging him to her. Naruto watched with a scowl as Sasuke’s face flushed. He didn’t protest. Naruto wanted to go home. Sasuke was the first to fall under her spell. There was no saving him now. Itachi was the second one. He turned to leave.

“Naruto want to be my partner?” Itachi asked. 

“I refuse.” Naruto exhaled folding his arms and turning his head away from Itachi, but the older boy grabbed hold of his arm stopping him from leaving. Naruto glowered up at Itachi and said petulantly, “I don’t even want to play this stupid game.” 

Izumi’s eyes flashed as she watched Itachi’s and Naruto’s reaction. 

“Naruto-kun I really want you to play, pretty-please pick a partner~” Izumi cried out. Oh, was she laying it on thick it made Naruto want to gag. 

“I don’t need a partner you stupid-cow...as if you or Sasuke could catch me; you shit for brains!” Naruto lashed out. He was immediately angry with Sasuke for aligning himself with Izumi. There was a faux look of hurt etched on her face complete with watery eyes and a quivering bottom lip. Naruto saw right through it. She was a good adversary he was going to take pleasure in taking her down. He just didn’t know how he was going to go about doing it. 

“Naruto that is enough! Apologize now or I’m going to tell mom!” Itachi yelled angrily. The only consequence was Mikoto’s disappointed face. Ugh. He’d sooner accept his punishment of solitary confinement than apologize. He glared up at Itachi. Challenging him. Threatening him. Naruto didn’t care. He’d spend the whole summer with Mikoto before he bent to Izumi’s will. Itachi swallowed unsure if he wanted to push Naruto to that decision. 

“As if any of you could catch me!” Naruto continued glaring at the rest of the kids. They all stared disapprovingly back. They had all liked Izumi -more- than they would ever like him. He still struggled with human interaction and he made an enemy out of all of them for being belligerent towards their elected queen. They didn’t want to play with Naruto and only agreed to because Izumi said to. 

“Stop being mean!” Sasuke lectured. Naruto looked at him. Sasuke -like his brother- was a delegate. He was quick to offer up a peace offering, a compromise, and wanted everyone to play together not wanting to leave anyone out, and he was trying his hardest to make Naruto participate. 

“Don’t you want to play with me? I want you to play with me...please…” Sasuke said softly causing Naruto to look towards the ground. He wanted to play with Sasuke, but not like this, and not with her. 

“Uzumaki and I will be partners,” Shisui said as he stepped onto the scene. “...and let’s make things even more entertaining. I don’t think anybody could catch us. Let’s play it this way. The whole lot of you against us?” Shisui flashed a cocky-smile. “We’ll put a time limit on it...whoever can catch Uzumaki and me in one hour we’ll be their slaves for a week. If not...we’re reigning kings and everybody here will have to do as we say!”

“What are you crazy, stupid-Shisui?” Naruto balked. 

“Are you a chicken? All words and no action? You just said that nobody could catch you…it’s time to put your money where your mouth is!”

“Fine!” Naruto said. He wasn’t going to back down after being called out. He had to save face. 

The rest of the children on the playground agreed to the terms and conditions. They stared at Naruto like they were going to devour him. The main dish they were going to cannibalize. Naruto and Shisui were given a five minute head start. They had to remain outside -inside was off limits- everything else was fair game. Including the forest. The countdown commenced and the game began. 

Naruto was the first to take off running. He ran down the sidewalk and following him -close at his heels- was Shisui.

“Stop following me!” Naruto yelled from over his shoulder. “You’re too big and stupid you’ll give away my position!” 

“Let’s stick together it’ll be more fun this way!” 

“You bastard! Do you want to lose?” 

Naruto ducked behind a dumpster; inhaling sharply. Shisui right next to him. Naruto was planning on entering the forest from the south and was mapping out the course he was going to take. 

“You’re alright Uzumaki...you’re actually pretty alright,” Shisui said -only- Naruto wasn’t falling for those words. He stared back suspiciously. 

“And you’re a pervert. Are you still doing gross things when nobody is looking? Ecchi-ecchi!” Naruto mocked. 

“You’re just a kid you don’t know anything. Talk to me when -you- hit 13. A smallfry like you probably wouldn’t even hit puberty until you’re like 16. Brat.”

“I’m not a kid, and I’m not a brat!” Naruto argued. 

“Heh...yeah-sure.”

“I did it too -what you did- and my penis got hard too...only nothing came out. You’re nothing special, stupid-Shisui!” Naruto shot back haughty. 

“Hey! I told you to stop calling me that... and don’t tell me weird things you’re going to get me arrested.”

“So what you did was illegal? You said everyone does it!”

“Everyone does do it...it’s just...nobody talks about it, because it’s embarrassing, and besides you’re too young to be doing anything!” 

“Maybe you’re just a pervert and only perverts do that! Bleh~” 

“Doesn’t that make -you- a pervert then if you did it?”

“I-I-I only did it because you did it...you corrupted me!”

“Shh! Don’t say that you’re really going to get me arrested!”

“Rot in jail stupid-Shisui.”

“You’re going to be the death of me, Uzumaki.” 

“Good. Go to hell, pervert. Now stop following me,” Naruto answered. He made sure the coast was clear before making a beeline towards the edge of the forest. Shisui continued to follow him like a stray dog into the forest. 

“Hey what are…”

“Go eat shit and die!” Naruto chastised as he began climbing the tall oak tree. He didn’t have a valid reason to be cruel to Shisui but he was guilty by association. ‘Sides. It felt good to release his frustrations out on Shisui. 

“Your mouth...kid…it really needs to be washed out with soap. You’re so not cute. You should act more like Sasuke,” Shisui exhaled watching the path that Naruto took so he could mimic it. 

“Go find Sasuke then! You’re always hanging around me you pervert, hurry up and turn yourself in!”

“I said shh about that stuff! Nah, you’re way cooler than Sasuke and Itachi...my cousins are boring old sticks-in-the-mud! You keep things interesting. Especially since you dislike Izumi as much as I do.”

“Don’t say her name!” 

Naruto -deft and nimble- scaled the tree in minutes. Perching on a branch. Shisui tried to follow Naruto up the tree but the first branch snapped, and Shisui crashed to the forest floor. Shisui tried again and the second branch snapped and he fell. There were sounds of children voices getting closer. 

“Hurry up and get caught stupid Shisui!” Naruto called down shooing him away with a hand. 

Shisui gave Naruto one more look -muttering ‘cheeky bastard’ under his breath- before bolting. He watched Shisui disappear- deeper- into the forest, followed by a gaggle of wild children who were hollering, whooping, and screaming like an ancient civilization deep in the amazon. None looked up. He continued to be unseen like an eagle high up in it’s nest. He smiled triumphantly. 

Naruto settled down, feeling confident nobody will find him in his hiding stop, and grabbed his backpack that was secured on his back. He unzipped it and took out the magazine that Shisui had when he caught him masturbating. It was a dirty magazine. Ecchi-Ecchi. Naruto leafed through the pages where it depicted hardcore stills of grown men and grown women frozen in derogatory sexual acts. Spanking. Whipping. Choking. Hanging upside down. Tied to boards. Chains around their necks, wrists, ankles. Leather covering their bodies. Holes exposing their genitals. Hard erect penises. Hard erect nipples. Red lips around ball gags. Painted nails. Hair slicked back into tight ponytails. High heels. Thigh-high boots. Whips. 

Every page fascinated him. More and more and more. He felt a tingling between his legs. He was -now- straddling the branch -it was thick and hard- between his legs. This was forbidden. He knew he stumbled upon something he wasn’t supposed to see when he found Shisui. It woke something up inside of him, and he wanted to try it too. That tingling grew and he began to rock against the bark of the tree. Grinding his hard penis against the tree. It excited him and turned that tingling into ecstasy. He closed his eyes -surrendering into the feeling- and letting it wash over him. 

“I found you~” a familiar voice sang out and he felt a hand grabbing him it pulled Naruto from his subspace and he opened his eyes. Itachi was balancing on a branch below him. The older boy’s face went from a look of pure satisfaction -over finding Naruto- to realization -when he noticed what was in Naruto’s hands- and what he was doing. Naruto felt his face become hot -panic filled him- followed by anger at having been caught. It was pure mortification. He closed the magazine and pulled it to his chest attempting to hide it. 

"What were you doing?"

"Nothing!"

“Where...did you get that magazine?”

“None of your business.” 

“Let me see.”

“No! Go away!”

“Naruto!” 

Itachi was yelling but Naruto was in full panic mode. He threw the magazine and backpack down. It landed in a thud at the base of the tree. He retched himself from Itachi’s grasp, and as nimble as an experienced rock climber, descended down the tree. Jumping the last ten feet he landed -like a cat- on all fours. He grabbed the magazine, stuffed it into his backpack, zipped it up, swung it on his back, and was running -like a gazelle- from a predator. Itachi stood there bewildered -starstruck- for a moment before following Naruto. 

“Wait!” Itachi yelled after Naruto, but by the time he reached the forest floor the blonde had vanished.

***** 

Naruto was running in the direction of home when he caught sight of Shisui. The older boy was crouching low and kept close to an apartment building. Shisui spun around and gave a look of relief when he saw it was only Naruto.

“Yo!” Shisui greeted as Naruto ran at him full speed. Naruto greeted him with a kick to the groin. Shisui yowled his hands cupping his bruised testicles. 

“Wh-wh-wha...was..t-tha..fo…” Shisui wheezed as he fell to his knees, his forehead slammed against the pavement, and his hands forming a protective barrier around his manhood. 

“Everything is your fault!” Naruto yelled and he pulled from his backpack the magazine and threw it down as if it was evidence enough. It landed next to Shisui’s head. 

“Itachi caught me with this magazine and now he thinks I’m a big pervert! I’ve been feeling weird ever since I saw you masturbating...you and Izumi are messing everything up ! Take responsibility and fix it!” 

“Ah~ I was wondering where that magazine went…” Shisui wheezed lifting his head and seeing the magazine. Naruto was panicking over Shisui’s nonchalance. 

“I’m going to deny everything, and you better too! I don’t want Itachi thinking that about me so you better deny everything too you pervert.”

“What do you have a crush on him or something? Who cares if he finds out?”

“Crush? What? No!”

“You do...look at your face it’s all red and flustered!”

“No it isn’t!” 

“Naruto!” Itachi yelled from down the street. 

“Ah!” Naruto cried out as he saw Itachi running towards him. He looked at Shisui who was still incapacitated and his eyes fell to the magazine. Shit. He didn’t want Itachi to see it. Anybody but Itachi. The embarrassment of Itachi catching him was enough to keep Naruto running forever. He grabbed it with both hands and bolted down the alleyway.

*****

Naruto made it to the bridge.

There was ongoing construction to repair and reinforce the bridge, and it was blocked off to motor vehicles and pedestrians. He bypassed the orange cones, the traffic barricades, the diamond shaped black and orange ‘road closed’ signs, the flashing warning lights. Every single warning sign imaginable. Although he had intentions of running to the end of the world he was still only nine years old and made it as far as the bridge. He collapsed -finding safety on the bridge- on all fours. Every breath he took sent waves of fire through the bronchi branches of his lungs. 

“Naruto-kun. Looks like I caught you...and now you'll be my slave,” it was a female voice. He looked up to see Izumi walking on the bridge. Shit. He froze.

"Ha. Itachi already caught me. Like I'd be your slave, stupid-cow," Naruto scoffed. There was a look of abhorrent hatred across her face, and her hands clutched into fists. She shook her head a smiling forming. They were all alone on the bridge. Nobody there to interrupt them. It was the look his foster father had every time he entered Naruto's room. 

It was her true form. She was smiling -a gash across her mouth- so wide her snake-tongue slithered out. Eyes slits of obsidian. She bent down and grabbed the magazine that Naruto dropped. Poised to attack. 

“Ohhh...this is my magazine why do you have it?” Izumi purred as she leafed through the pages.

Naruto looked up -his eyebrows furrowed together- and his mouth in a hard line. She stared down like a predator who finally cornered it’s prey. She read his expression and his mind. 

“What did you think this was Shisui’s? Haha, baka!” Izumi laughed. She flipped the magazine to a particular graphic page and slipped her fingers up her dress and down her underwear. She began to rub -and pleasure- herself. Naruto looked up -wild-eyed- at her actions. He wanted her to stop.

“You felt it too didn’t you looking at this? The hotness and tingliness in your privates...you’re just like me!” 

“You’re crazy! Get away from me you ugly-cow!” Naruto yelled and he pushed himself up. She pulled her fingers from inside and they appeared coated in a thick clear liquid. She smeared her fingers together making a squelching noise. 

“I don’t know why you hate me so much...we’re the same. Itachi told me everything your foster father did to you. Listening to it excited me. Now let me show you something that Shisui’s dad did to me,” Izumi spoke, and like a magnet being repelled back Naruto began walking backwards. His eyes trained on her. Moving slowly back as Izumi slowly slithered closer. 

“He was a bad man...and now he’s in jail,” Naruto answered remembering the wicked things he did to him. 

“Did he do anything else to you...like touch you down there? Did he make you feel good down there?” Izumi asked and she pointed at Naruto’s privates. His eyes widened and he shook his head violently from side to side. Mikoto warned Naruto of people like this. People who wanted to hurt children. “Because...Shisui’s father touched me...down here and I’ll show you what he did...we’re the same.” She grabbed herself once more. It frightened Naruto.

"Stop it!" Naruto yelled, but she wasn't listening. 

“It hurt in the beginning but then it started to feel good...I can make you feel good too Naruto-kun. Let me make you feel good Naruto-kun, onegai shi!”

“Stop! Don’t come any closer!” 

“Why do you hate me so much? It really upsets me...makes me angry that you don’t like me! Everybody loves me, but you! I hate you Uzumaki Naruto!” Izumi screamed. She stopped and composed herself. 

“Shisui’s father is a bad man! He shouldn’t be touching you! He should be in jail!”

“You don’t understand he loves me that's what people do when they love you” 

“Nuh-uh! No! He’s a bad man, and I’m going to tell Mikoto!” 

“If you do you’ll end up just like that filthy alley-cat!” 

Naruto turned around -to try and run away- but he stopped. The bridge ended. Dropped off. There was a gaping hole. Too big to jump. It didn’t connect all the way to the other side. He was trapped. His eyes looked -forlorn- to where the other side laid just out of reach. There was a blow coming from behind. Strong hands pressed against his back and shoved him over the edge of the bridge. 

For a moment Naruto felt weightless. Time suspended. He felt nothingness under his feet. 

The secondhand ticked and everything came whirling back down bringing with it the sound of a jet engine. Naruto was plunging through emptiness. He plummeted down and broke the surface of the waters and was pulled deep down by gravity. The warm waters of the surface turned cold as he was pulling deeper down into the dark depths of the river.

Naruto struggled to swim upwards but lost all sense of direction. He didn't know which way was up and which way was down. Everything was murky and brown. He struggled to kick, to move, his hands flailing. Nobody taught him how to swim and the only thing he could do was sink. He felt something powerful grab hold of him. The current forced Naruto up and he broke the surface. Screaming for help, sucking in air, and he was being pulled back under by the same force that pushed him up. It was a cruel water spirit. Teasing Naruto allowing him to breath for a millisecond, before pulling him back down. Every time he broke the surface he screamed as loud as he could. He screamed for help. The sound was ear-piercing and filled the peaceful summertime air with dread. Like an ominous air raid siren. It alerted all the adults in the immediate vicinity. The cries of a child's voice. 

The last thing he remembered before blacking out was water filling his cavities. Entering his mouth and gushing down his throat. Maybe this is it...maybe this time he was really going to die. He didn't want to die. Not yet. He wanted to keep playing with Sasuke and Itachi. He regretted being so stubborn and mean towards them, and wished he could go back...and apologize.

*****

Naruto woke up violently. He could feel phantom water filling his stomach and he was gagging. There was an oxygen mask strapped around his face and an IV inserted into the back of his hand. He was dressed in a hospital gown, under a scratchy blanket, and laying in a hospital gurney. He woke up in a room that had an underwater theme with fish and coral and water painted on the walls. What a fucking joke.

“Naruto!” it was Sasuke’s voice. He was curled up next to him -and woke up- when Naruto came to. Naruto turned to see Sasuke wrapping his arms around him. He tensed up. Every muscle becoming stiff as a board. Wary of Sasuke he hesitated. 

“I’m so happy you’re okay...I’m so sorry I didn’t believe you about Izumi. It won’t happen again. I promise!” 

Feeling weakened Naruto fell back down to the gurney. Sasuke was already calling to Mikoto stating Naruto had awoken. The hospital room began flooding with nurses, Mikoto, Fugaku, and Itachi. He wanted to tell them 'told ya so', but was too weak. Instead he laid there with his eyes open as they fretted over him.

*****

"Naruto!" Shizune said brightly as Naruto slugged through the door his feet purposely scuffing against the ground. He was being escorted by Mikoto her hand wrapped tightly around Naruto preventing him from running away. His weekly sessions with Shizune were starting back up again.

"Hi...Shizune..." Naruto exhaled. 

Naruto had good reason not to like Izumi, because when he was nine years old she tried to kill him, and no matter how old he became, and no matter how much time passed, and no matter how much water is under the bridge...those feelings will always remain.


	10. I'm gonna get ya, get ya, get ya, get ya

#  **I'm gonna get ya, get ya, get ya, get ya**

 

Morning light streamed through the skylight and hit Sasuke’s face causing him to stir from his deep slumber. He was the first to wake, and it was a beautiful sight. He woke up to find Naruto’s arms wrapped around him, and the blonde’s face snuggled up against his chest. It wasn’t a dream. It was the most perfect way to wake up, and he wanted to wake up like this every morning. Last night wasn’t a dream, and if it was, he’d gladly never wake up again. 

Never had he felt as happy as he did in this moment. 

He wanted time to pause just like this for a little while longer. He committed everything to memory. The mattress on the floor. The white comforter set. The heaviness of Naruto’s head resting on his chest, the warmness of Naruto’s body, the sounds of Naruto’s breathing, and the smell of sweat and semen. The feeling he felt in the pit of his stomach of pure happiness. He reached it. What the philosopher's spoke about. It was subjective, and Sasuke reached it, and it was here, with Naruto. 

Everything fell into place that it filled Sasuke with anxiety as if any moment the facade was going to crack and ugliness was going to seep into the beauty. 

Sasuke leaned down and kissed Naruto good morning. The blonde’s eyelids fluttered open. Those iceberg blue eyes met his and his breath hitched. Winter blue hues that were still so cold it sent cold chills down his body. He was expecting Naruto to hit the ceiling in regret, to shove him away, and leap out of bed in panic, but the blonde remained calm. 

He braced himself for the worst, and it didn’t happen, causing him to relax once more. Things were going to be okay. The kids are doing alright.

“Good mornin’, S’ske...how’d ya sleep?” Naruto spoke sleepily. He uncurled himself from Sasuke’s body, arched his back, and stretched his arms out. 

“G-good...you?” Sasuke asked hesitantly. He was hypervigilant on Naruto dissecting everything the blonde did with a fine-tooth comb. 

“Mhm...really good, thanks.” 

The way he said ‘thanks’ felt like a sucker punch. Maybe he was reading too much into things, but it sounded like he was thanking Sasuke for the sex, thanking him for the orgasms, saying it like they had just completed a transaction, and he was going to go about his day as if nothing had happened. 

“Naruto…” 

Sasuke began. The blonde was straddling him and bringing his mouth down to greet Sasuke’s; in a good morning kiss. It did more. It reassured him. Sasuke’s hands went to Naruto’s hips and he felt their way up his spinal cord, the bones feeling like piano keys against his fingers he wanted to play. He tasted Naruto’s tongue and he felt wide awake as if taking a shot of espresso. Sasuke was more needy than Naruto, and he lost himself in the kiss. He let a moan escape as he felt Naruto grind against his cock. Naruto wrapped his arms around Sasuke and pulled him into an embrace. This small sign of affection sent blood rushing to his groin; filling his member up. 

“How about I return the favor...from last night,” Naruto purred grabbing the comforter and pulling it with him as he lowered his body. 

“Wh-what…” Sasuke hesitated. He was satisfied with just kissing. 

Naruto grabbed his circumcised penis, it was already rock hard and hitting the small of his stomach, and he rolled his tongue along his lips seductively. Sasuke couldn’t take his eyes off of Naruto. He dripped saliva over the head of the penis and brought his warm hand down. He began massaging the head with his index finger and thumb while the other moved up and down the shaft. 

”You’re really big S’ske...much bigger than mine...”

“Nhg...Naruto…you don’t have...hnn..”

Naruto dripped more saliva all over the head and it rolled down. Precum poured out of the slit and Naruto rubbed his finger against the saliva and cum mixture, before taking the tip in his mouth and sucking it clean. He used his tongue to lick the slit and pressed down causing Sasuke to cry out. His tongue felt so soft it felt like a kitten was licking him. He brought the tip of his tongue to the frenulum and pressed. It sent Sasuke’s head to spin in a dark sea of the whirlpool galaxy. Naruto took all of Sasuke into his mouth. Sasuke’s entire body felt hot and sweaty as if he was running a fever. 

“Your cock tastes so good, S’ske. It’s so big! Feels good in my mouth. I’m happy with any part of you in me. Hnn...haa.”

Naruto spoke his dirty words and his vocal cords vibrated against him. He had such a dirty mouth ever since they were kids. Naruto’s fingers went to message the soft sack beneath his penis. Naruto was deep-throating Sasuke. He felt the tip of his penis ram the back of Naruto’s throat and the muscles tighten around him. He was moaning again his fingers combed through Naruto’s hair and he pulled on the silky blonde strands. Naruto sucked him off with more vigor. His toes curled, he felt his muscles tighten up, and he was so round up like spring.

“Ngn...haa...haa..” 

“I can’t wait to taste your cum…” Naruto spoke again and he looked up at Sasuke. “Please cum for me, S’ske.” 

His expression was lewd, filthy, and rated NC-17. Sasuke was panting and his face pink and sweaty. The fever ravished his body. He could feel it building. Everything tightened and then right before the kettle screamed everything relaxed. It exploded out. Filling Naruto’s mouth with his white cum, pumping, everything into that dirty mouth. The blonde swallowed and pulled his limp penis from his mouth exhaling deeply like an old man who was ready for the day. He didn’t stop there -instead- he began to lick his penis clean, bringing his wet tongue up and down, until he was squeaky clean. 

Sasuke felt weak he couldn’t string together a coherent thought, and maybe, he was going to spend the rest of his life incompetent as a result of Naruto’s head game. 

“You better hurry and get ready. You’re going to be late, class prez,” Naruto taunted as he pulled away. Sasuke felt dizzy, weak, and stupid. Everything Naruto said was music to his ears. 

“How can I...when you’re like this…” Sasuke exhaled slowly. He was beginning to make sense of the world again. 

“Gomen~nasai.”

“No. You don’t have to apologize.” 

Naruto flashed his smile of a thousand burning suns. It was warm and absolutely-fucking-brilliant, and Sasuke found himself smiling back. He felt better about everything. Naruto turned to leave, but Sasuke pulled him back. This time it was Sasuke who kissed Naruto. He wasn’t afraid anymore and he cursed himself for not doing anything sooner. He could taste himself in Naruto’s mouth. The remnants of his cum still in Naruto. He knew Naruto liked him back just like Naruto now knows that Sasuke likes him. He knew he knew...but...just how long did Naruto know, and how long did Naruto like him back?

He asked none of these questions. They seemed moot. He wanted to kiss him one more time before they got ready for school. 

“Just one more kiss…” 

Sasuke pleaded as he oh’d and ah’d Naruto’s mouth open. He thread his hands with Naruto’s and squeezed. He wanted to make sure the blonde was real and this wasn’t a dream. Naruto held Sasuke’s hands back and squeezed reassuringly as if communicating ‘I’m here’. And that was all Sasuke wanted. 

Naruto pressed his body to Sasuke and graciously kissed him, small giggles escaped him, and Sasuke found himself laughing back. It was contagious. Naruto’s laughter. The most beautiful sound in the world. This morning kept getting better and better and each time he didn’t think it could get any better...it did. 

“Alright-alright-alright...this will be the last kiss.” 

Naruto concluded as they continued to make out in the morning light, on top the comforter, on the mattress, on the floor of the loft. 

They carried on like that for a while, and as a result, they ended up being thirty minutes late to school. Naruto got detention. Sasuke got a warning. Naruto once again pinned the pink detention slip to his chest like a badge of honor and waved goodbye to Sasuke as he walked towards his class. Sasuke brought a weak hand up and watched as Naruto disappeared. 

Sasuke didn’t care. He’d gladly tarnish his school record and arrive late every morning if it met he could repeat today over and over again until graduation. 

*****

Sasuke felt a new wave energy inside him.

He was giddy like a little kid. He was elated. Ecstatically happy. It filled him from top to bottom. He tried to describe the way he felt. It was like that brief moment of driving under a bridge on a rainy day, achieving the perfect milk to cereal ratio, tearing out a piece of perforated paper perfectly...it felt like discovering a new song and listening to it on repeat. He was on cloud 9 until forty-five minutes into his calculus class when reality sunk in.

He lost his virginity. He had sex with his best friend twice last night and...once this morning.

He felt his cheeks burning and he began sweating profusely. He regretted putting on his sweater vest this morning. He tried to remember if he put on deodorant but the only thing that came to mind was Naruto’s soft tongue up against him. He couldn’t concentrate on the lecture of infinitesimals, and took out his mobile phone, quickly sending a text message to Naruto. 

‘Hey where are you right now?’

‘Class.’

‘I need to talk to you. Meet me in the student council room at lunch.’

‘Okay.’ 

Sasuke ran to the student council room expecting Naruto to be the first one there. He threw the door open and... he wasn’t. Sasuke waited fifteen minutes and still there was no sign of Naruto. The door opened and Sasuke leapt out of his chair, instead of Naruto, it was Sakura. A wave of disappointment washed over him like biting into a a cookie and expecting chocolate chip but tasting oatmeal raisin. 

“Hey…” Sakura greeted and she walked in. “I officially have a hangover. I literally puked twice today, and the second time when I came out of the stall...Tenten was there and had the audacity to ask me if I’m pregnant. I don’t know what’s worse. The rumors that I’m a molester or rumors that I am now pregnant.” 

Sasuke ignored her and reached for his phone again he attempted to call Naruto. No answer. 

“So...tell me what happened last night?” Sakura asked seductively and grabbed her shoulders and wiggled her body. Sasuke attempted to call Naruto again. “Hey Sasuke...hello, anyone home?”

“I had sex with Naruto!” Sasuke blurted out. 

“Wowzers...” Sakura spoke slowly. Her knees gave out and she fell back into a chair. “Damn you guys really go zero to sixty…” 

“...and I think he’s avoiding me…” Sasuke confessed.

“What makes you say that?” 

“Because I told him to meet me here during lunch and it’s,” Sasuke checked the time on his phone, “12:17 and he still isn’t here!” 

“Sasuke I’m going to want you to calm down and breathe before you ruin anything. Naruto’s in the band room practicing. I tried to stop by and say hi, but it was already filled with kids watching him. He’s kinda growing a cult following it’s scary...” 

“He’s in the band room?” Sasuke perked up, he grabbed his messenger bag and began running from the room.

“Uh! I’d be careful if I were you!” Sakura called out.

*****

He heard Naruto’s voice coming from the speakers.

The closer he got to the band room the louder the electric guitar became, and it wasn’t just the sound of any electric guitar it was Naruto’s 1989 Gibson in a rendition of Blondie’s ‘One Way or Another.’ He heard that unique electric guitar so often he could distinguish it from a hundred electric guitars all playing at the same time. The hallway was packed with students.

He thought to Mikoto blasting this song on repeat and dancing as ten year old Naruto, standing on top the coffee table, sang backup vocals to Blondie. Mikoto had really catered to his voice and encouraged him everyday to sing and perform for her. 

“I will drive past your house...And if the lights are all down...I'll see who's around...”

Sasuke wanted to see Naruto singing and he began moving past all the students, upon seeing it was the class president, everyone began stepping aside, parting the seas allowing him easy entrance into the band room. His voice hitched and it wasn’t in the good way like his breath was taken from him, but it left his chest aching. 

Naruto wasn’t playing his guitar, instead, his hands were wrapped around the microphone and his body writhing along with the music. Kiba on the drums. His 1989 Gibson was being played by Sabaku no Gaara. Sasuke’s eyes focused on Gaara who was also standing in front of a microphone. 

Gaara was dressed in a pair of white-washed shredded jeans rolled up to reveal argyle socks, a long-sleeved too-tight white shirt layered with an oversize brown burgundy flannel. He also looked like he was waiting for a photographer to ask for his picture for Pitchfork Magazine. 

The two were engrossed in singing the chorus together, avoiding eye contact at all costs, and focusing on the camcorder that Ino held. Recording their performance. This song didn’t suit Naruto’s image and let alone Gaara’s...it was purely fan service to the female students who were screaming and clapping along. After the chorus Gaara began singing solo. 

“And if the lights are all out….I'll follow your bus downtown….See who's hangin' out….” 

Gaara didn’t have a bad singing voice but it was the minor leagues whereas Naruto was playing in the major league. Naruto had the stage performance and the voice that eclipsed Gaara. The two began singing one right after the other in perfect timing where Naruto stopped Gaara began and where Gaara faded Naruto came in strong. There were somethings that needed weeks of practice and other times it was just pure talent. The music cut and Naruto delivered the final line.

“One way or another, I'm gonna get ya…” 

The crowd erupted into applause. Naruto stared out to the crowd his chest rising and falling. What started out as an argument over who was going to use the band room during lunch resulted in a warm-up performance. His heart was beating so fast and he smiled. 

“You asked me how I was going to win...just like that…” Naruto spoke impassively rounding on Gaara. “I’ll admit you play better guitar...but there is no way your voice is better than mine.”

“You made me play a song from the 80’s…”

“70’s.”

“Whatever. Let’s do one more song...this time I pick,” Gaara spoke with a smirk. Naruto pulled out his phone and blinked. 

“Can’t. I gotta meet someone.” Gaara quirked an eyebrow. Ino overhearing Naruto’s refusal ran up to them begging. 

“Naruto! Please! Just sing one more song, think of the views you’re going to get on youtube!”

“Can’t, I’m already late…” Naruto answered with a shrug as if to say ‘it can’t be helped’.

“Who is so important you need to leave now?”

“Sasuke.”

“Well...he’s right behind you…” Gaara answered and nodded towards Sasuke who stood front and center. Naruto turned around and for the first time noticed him in the crowd his face lighting up. 

“Hey…” Naruto breathed as he stepped up to Sasuke. “Sorry...I’m running late. Wanna go?” 

“What...were you doing…” Sasuke asked his eyes flickering to where Gaara stood focusing on Naruto’s 1989 Gibson still in his hands. Naruto shrugged and offered no explanation. 

“Class prez!” Ino interrupted. “Since you’re here you wouldn’t mind if Naruto sang one more song...we are satisfied with just one song...are we girls?” Ino asked the crowd of female students that were predominantly freshman and sophomores. 

Naruto had that baby-faced bad boy look that captured their young hearts and sang cover songs of Blondie and Joan Jett. Sasuke turned his attention to the crowd of female students. He was entrapped. He wasn’t going to make a scene even though he wanted to. He wanted nothing more than to grab Naruto by the wrist and drag him out. Berate him for bending so easily to Gaara’s demand that he remove Sasuke from the lineup, only, to perform alongside Gaara. Underneath his deep seeded rage he wanted nothing more than to slam Naruto up against the lockers and makeout with him because that performance was hot. 

“What do say?” 

Sasuke shrugged, “You better not be shit.” Naruto laughed. 

*****

The aftermath of the performance left Sasuke in chills. He stood by the speaker losing himself in the music. The door closed behind them in the student council room and before Sasuke could say anything Naruto was wrapping his arms around his neck. He pressed his lips gently against Sasuke’s in a tender kiss that was so light he didn’t even think they were kissing. But Sasuke pressed back forcefully and invaded Naruto’s mouth. He slammed Naruto up against the door and deepened the kiss. He told Naruto through his tongue and saliva that he missed him.

“Naruto…” Sasuke exasperated pulling away. 

“Mhm?” 

“About...last night…”

“Do you regret it?”

“Absolutely fucking not...Naruto I like you so much, and I’ve only ever liked you...it’s always going to just be you...so...”

“I like you too, S’ske.”

‘So then...what does this mean? Are we dating?” 

“D-dating?” Naruto asked and a look of puzzlement crossed his face, as if Sasuke asked him to describe in step by step directions, how to perform open-heart surgery. 

“Yeah…” Sasuke answered forcefully. He didn’t like Naruto’s cold eyes and twisted expression. 

“Is that what you want?” Naruto asked. 

“More than anything.” 

“Mhm...okay then. I guess we’re dating~”

Sasuke didn’t let Naruto finish he was back to kissing him he wanted to shut him up before he backtracked or said something that Sasuke didn’t want to hear. Love was an abstract thought. It hijacked Sasuke’s brain and put blinders up. It only showed Sasuke what he wanted to see, and only heard what Sasuke wanted to hear. For the first time he was allowing himself to indulge in selfishness. Naruto had engorged himself on cake for too long and just this once Sasuke didn’t care what Naruto wanted...or care how Naruto felt...or care what Naruto was thinking of, because, all Sasuke wanted was Naruto, and only Naruto.

*****

Friday night.

Naruto’s fingers grabbed fistfuls of the sheets to steady himself as his body was being rocked with each thrust. Sasuke positioned himself behind, grabbed hold of Naruto’s hips, his nails dug into his flesh, as he he helped guide Naruto’s ass back and against his cock. The only sounds was Sasuke’s ballsack slapping against Naruto’s bare ass, and Naruto’s intensifying moaning. 

“Hng...ah...ah...haa..” 

Sasuke pulled Naruto back, and wrapped an arm underneath Naruto’s knee, lifting his leg up in the air and spreading his legs more. Naruto half-balanced on one knee and half sitting in Sasuke’s lap. Sasuke’s erect member penetrated his body so forcefully. Doing just what Naruto told him to do. Sasuke’s member was hitting against his prostrate stimulating it and causing it to swell. He could feel the pressure building up. Naruto’s body tightened around Sasuke and his body invited Sasuke deeper in. It was a perverted sight. Seeing Naruto ride his dick. 

“Yes...do it just..like...ah...ahhh...thaaat. Don’t...stahp...” Naruto begged his voice slurred and jumbled. 

"Say it properly. I can't understand you."

"Don't...ahh...stop..."

Naruto’s back rested against Sasuke’s chest, and his head lulled forward so it was horizontal to the bed. It was the second time they were having sex, that night, and Naruto still wasn’t exhausted. His face was flushed with the color of pink peonies, he breathed heavily through his mouth, saliva rolled off Naruto’s tongue and rolled down his mouth, and down his face. 

Sasuke leaned over and brought his lips to the base of Naruto’s neck, sucking. He hit his sensitive spot. The skin was already blotchy-red like the color of a bruise and then he bit hard. Leaving marks and bruises. Just like what Naruto wanted.

“Beg me…or I won't let you cum,” Sasuke whispered hoarsely in Naruto’s ear. He stopped his thrusting and held Naruto close to him. He could feel him squirm in his arms. He tried moving his hips on his own and Sasuke grabbed hold of him preventing him from pleasuring himself. 

“Please…”

“No...in Japanese…” Sasuke demanded. 

He didn’t know why but he wanted to hear Naruto moaning in Japanese. It sent him over the hills looking for the sunrise whenever Naruto spoke Japanese and he wanted to hear Naruto’s voice shuddering. Naruto complied. Every time Naruto begged Sasuke began thrusting again. 

“Onegaishimasu…..onegaishimasu….onegaishimasu, Sasuke-sama!” 

It was enough to push Sasuke off the diving board and plummet into the pool making a big splash.

“No...don’t cum yet…” Naruto begged, but it was too late. Sasuke had filled Naruto’s cavity up with everything he had that it rolled down the sides, and poured out in a thick white drops. 

“Teme...” Naruto whined as Sasuke pulled his flaccid cock from inside Naruto. It was painful not climaxing. His testicles were painful and itchy. Naruto moved his fingers to his cock ready to get himself off. 

“I’ll finish you off…” Sasuke offered but was interrupted by the front door opening and Itachi's voice calling out Naruto's name.


	11. I have to turn my head until my darkness goes

#  **I have to turn my head until my darkness goes**

 

“Horizontal cunt?”

Naruto repeated the words as a question. He straightened up and rested one foot on the bench of the picnic table. They were in the park. It was after school and nearing the end of spring. He didn’t understand it but the connotation made him feel dirty like an old, moist, dishrag left in the sink. Even repeating the words he knew, on an emotional level, he shouldn’t repeat them out loud again. 

He fixed his winter blue eyes on the three older children. Their leader with a skateboard in hand: had wild pumpkin colored hair and violet eyes, was sitting on top of the picnic table facing Naruto. He was the one who wouldn't leave Naruto alone, and today, Naruto took the bait and approached them. Behind him, sitting on the bench, was another (albeit quiet) boy reading: with blood red hair and a sullen face, and next to him a very beautiful girl: with small features, and hair the exact shade of an aquamarine crayola crayon. 

“It’s a slur. I wouldn't recommend repeating it again,” Konan answered, she didn’t look up, and continued her origami. Naruto narrowed his eyes. Already not liking any of them.

“Yeah…’cuz their eyes are slanty and all stretched out to the side,” the older boy said and he pulled the skin beneath his eyes to the side, stretching, and exaggerating his features. He looked grotesque like a clown whose face paint was melting off the flesh. “That means their pussies are also slanted. Than again you’re a brat you’d prolly never even seen a pussy.”

"Shut up you're probably a virgin who jacks off to young kids," Naruto taunted and raised his head up. Focusing his icy blue eyes on those violet hues; challenging him. Naruto wasn't afraid of him. Even though he was older, cooler, and road a skateboard. They were leagues a head of him, and Naruto was left treading water. He still wasn't afraid.

"Cheeky brat you need to wash your mouth out with soap. Acting like you know what you're talking about. You're all talk you don't know jack shit." 

Naruto wanted to tell them about the magazine he swiped from Shisui last summer, and the graphic genitalia photographed at every angle, _but_ , he accidentally spilled the beans to Shizune during one of his sessions (she’s really tricky like), and he didn’t want to bring it up -again-. He didn't want to be forced to talk about sex again with her, and what was, and wasn’t appropriate for a ten year old. He was going to keep his mouth shut. This time. He scoffed.

“I’m ten...I’m not supposed to know that kind of stuff anyways. Bakayaro.” Naruto rolled his eyes, and folded his arms in arrogant superiority.

“You think speaking japanese makes you look cool? You snot-nosed brat. Why do we even talk to you?” the older boy retorted looking over his shoulder at his cohorts. 

“Because I was on TV,” Naruto answered and flashed a smile. He had gotten notoriety after appearing on, and singing on, the late night show. Kids from all walks of life had been approaching him since his premiere. Naruto looked the older kids up and down continuing, “‘Side’s ya’ll called me over. I didn’t approach you. So what do you want from me?” 

“Why don’t you come with us. We’re going to our secret base to play poker. You're kinda alright for a brat way cooler than those freaks you're always with,” the leader, who called himself, Pein, said. “Have you ever played poker before?” Naruto shook his head. He didn’t know why he was answering. It was automatic. 

“Why would I play with you? You just insulted my friends you shit for brains,” Naruto shot back; recovering. He was about to leave, but he was intrigued. There was an air around the trio. It was magnetic. They were playground royalty, and Naruto wanted to be around them, even just for a little while longer. If all the kids in the neighborhood were in the caste system the trio were the elites, and Naruto, was somewhere in the middle, but they still felt like miles away, and Naruto felt like an untouchable. 

“Who the Uchiha siblings? Don’t you think they’re too close? They’re so close it’s incest. They’re so close they’re probably jacking each other off right now, like I said...INCEST!” 

“Incest?”

“You are S-T-U-P-I-D!” the older boy mocked loudly choosing to spell out the last word, which further annoyed Naruto. He refrained himself from slugging him in his nose. 

Naruto didn’t like these older kids. Pein was the leader. Nagato, quieter, followed everything Pein said, and Konan was too busy making a paper fortune teller; he couldn’t read her. They were around Itachi’s age and went to school with Itachi, but made it very apparent they -didn’t- like Itachi, and didn’t like Sasuke based solely on the fact he was Itachi’s younger brother. He was surprised they invited Naruto to play with them.

“Incest means having a sexual relationship with a family member, more specifically, somebody who shares the same blood as you. It is also illegal and you can be imprisoned anywhere from five years to life,” Konan answered in a calm voice. Naruto turned his attention to Konan, and his eyes widened at her explanation, comprehending everything instantly. It disgusted him even further than the dirty slur, and a shudder washed through his body. 

“That's fucking disgusting. They’re not doing that!” Naruto defended.

"This kid's mouth it's fucking beautiful," the older boy continued motioning towards Naruto. 

Naruto felt his cheeks burning hot as blood rushed to his face. The vivid images corrupted his mind and he shook his head violently. Suddenly feeling nauseous he wanted to change the topic of conversation before he puked. Unfortunately, Pein didn’t look like he was ready to move on.

"I told you they aren't! So wipe that stupid look off your face or I'll do it for you," Naruto threatened. He would throw down with a fourteen year old. He didn't care. The threat caused Nagato to look up and stare wordlessly at Naruto, almost anticipating bloodshed. Konan smiled, and a soft chuckle escaped her lips. So soft it was barely audible. It only lit Pein's eyes up like an illegal firecracker. Konan disappeared and appeared behind Naruto her arms wrapped around him, and her hand brushed against Naruto's cheek. She forced his head to turn to her as she purred in his ear. 

"Look at that look in his eyes, Pein...that wild look. He's ten and it excites me. I like him. He'd be a great addition to our group."

"Take it back what you said..." Naruto continued, ignoring Konan, and turning his attention back to Pein. Konan's hands wrapped around him, and pulling him close to her, it didn't phase him. He wasn't going to let her have the satisfaction of the shock factor. He'd ice her out. Pein smirked at Naruto's determination. He changed tactics. 

“Maybe he isn’t with Sasuke...but maybe he’s doing something with you?” Pein asked. There was hysteria swirling in those violet eyes. They rippled and appeared like black rings. Like dropping a rock in a pond. The ripples expanded throughout his corneas and pulled Naruto closer. He was someone who thrives on chaos...on pain, and Naruto knew, he knew, he was dangerous. He was someone who could hold power over Naruto. It frightened him and also excited him.

“You’re wrong, and sick...” Naruto continued. Konan sighed -disappointed with the lack of reaction- and unwrapped herself from Naruto. She returned to the picnic table and picked up her finished fortune teller. A wave of melancholy washed over her.

“Why is Itachi so obsessed with you? You can tell me it must be insufferable.” 

“H-he...isn’t…!” 

“You’re always with him, and when you aren’t by his side he’s always looking for you. You're just like a dog on a leash. You want to break free. You're not meant to live life on the leash, Naruto.”

“I'm not a goddamn dog on a leash!” Naruto snapped. The truth was he was putting up walls between himself and Itachi, and it wasn’t just because of being treated like a five year old, although that was a big part of it...it was something more. Something he caught Itachi doing and it changed their relationship forever. The pedestal he placed Itachi on crumbled and the God, like Lucifer, fell from grace and into hell.

"Bark for me, doggy," Pein mocked.

"I'm not a dog!" 

"Then cut loose and cause a little chaos." Pein threw his skateboard on the ground and jumped on it. He swerved his body easily on top the board and glided like he was on water. Naruto trained his eyes on Pein as he maneuvered around on the board. 

He wanted to put as much distance between himself and Itachi. Pein was right. It was insufferable. There was a visible collar around his neck and the Uchiha's held the leash. He tried telling Mikoto that he was ten years old and wasn’t a stupid-baby anymore, and that he could walk home from school on his own. He heard the other students snicker and point behind his back whenever Itachi appeared in the school yard to fetch both Sasuke and himself. They made cruel comments out loud, such as, if Naruto was still in pampers, and that Naruto should hold Itachi's hand so he doesn't get lost. Naruto balled his hands up into fists. Thinking about it all over again sent his blood to a boil. 

“You gotta cut the umbilical cord, kid,” Pein said with a sly smile. He flipped his board -effortlessly- and landed. 

“Umbilical Cord?” 

“Umbilical cord...it attached from your belly button to your mother when you were in her stomach. It was severed at birth. It means you need to cut the metaphorical umbilical cord that connects you and Itachi,” Konan explained continuing to play with the paper fortune teller. 

“Konan...you don’t need to overly explain things I told you…” Pein commented and then let out a big sigh as there was no changing Konan, “But she’s right. You gotta cut the cord and live a little. You’re going to go places in life and you don’t need people like Itachi and Sasuke dragging you down. They’re clingy and insufferable bastards, and I can’t stand their preachy ‘all-mighty’ and ‘holier than tho’ shit attitude. I want to wipe off those smug smiles from their-” 

“Naruto…!” it was Sasuke’s voice and it caused Naruto to spin around. Speak of the devil. Naruto's eyes widened at the sight of Sasuke. He was left speechless as Sasuke continued, “Why didn’t you wait for us at the school gate?” He was angry with Sasuke. He easily went with whatever was told of him. The perfect obedient son. Naruto snapped.

“Because I’m not a goddamn baby shitting in their diaper! I can walk myself home, and I don’t need your stupid brother to escort me everywhere. I'm not going home with you. So leave me alone,” Naruto snarled. It was enough to cause Sasuke's jaw to fall in utter shock. 

Pein’s voice twisted things in Naruto’s mind. He was livid that this stranger knew the sensitive things he dwelled on, and knew exactly what strings to pull to unravel him. Naruto glanced across the playground. At the entrance stood Itachi. He was expressionless. Naruto looked away. Itachi knew exactly why Naruto was avoiding him which is why he sent Sasuke to fetch him, and why he didn't come himself. Naruto scoffed at this and focused his attention on the messenger. 

“You know why Itachi walks us home…” Sasuke answered quietly. He was alluding to the incident last summer when Naruto was pushed off the bridge.

“Nothing bad is going to happen...besides Itachi already showed me if something bad did happen to me he’s not going to be there to do anything...so what’s the point? If you couldn't tell. I'm already a better judge of character than either of you two!” 

“Naruto...that isn’t…” Sasuke began to say, but was interrupted. Naruto had enough. 

“Let’s go...I don’t want to stay here any longer,” Naruto snapped to the trio. Naruto turned on his heels and stuffed his hands in his pockets. Pein led the way on top his skateboard. Konan continuing to play with her paper fortune teller walked besides Naruto. She turned and smiled at Sasuke as they left. Nagato pulled himself from the picnic table, closed the book, and walked behind Naruto and Konan. Leaving Sasuke dumbfounded in the dust. 

“Where are you going?” Sasuke called after him, but Naruto waved his hand.

“None of your damn business. It’s time to cut the cord, Sasuke.”

*****

 

Naruto returned home late. Past his curfew, and way past his bedtime. He didn’t call, and just sort of appeared back home. He braced himself for impact. The plane took a nosedive. When he entered the house Mikoto appeared from thin air, she grabbed Naruto, and began to crush him to her. Like a boa constrictor she took his breath away. Literally. He was feeling suffocated in the Uchiha house. Both physically, and emotionally and everything exploded as the plane crashed into the ground in a fiery explosion. Something primal erupted from deep inside. 

“Naruto?! Where have you been! Don't you know how worried I was about you! I was just about to call the police and report you missing!” 

“I was at a friend’s house…nothing happened...why are you always like this...” Naruto said bitterly. He went rigid in her arms and refused to show her any kind of affection, nor acknowledge that she had been worried sick about him. He remained resentful. 

“You’re grounded, young man! You’re to come straight home everyday after school and sit in your room! This isn't the way you're supposed to behave! Do you understand?” Mikoto said as soon as she released him. She had assessed he was safe, unscathed, and everything even down to his hair, was in place, and undisturbed. Naruto's snapping point was being called 'young man' when he was so clearly being treated like a whiny kindergartner. 

“I hate you!” Naruto screamed back in response. The look on Mikoto’s face was enough to make Naruto regret everything. Not waiting for Itachi at the school yard, leaving with Pein at the playground, not calling to tell Mikoto where he was, and returning home late. He regretted everything, at least, he did before his natural born stubbornness took hold. His natural disposition of being unlovable, of being beastly, and petulant came flooding back as easily as riding a bicycle. 

“What’s gotten into you? You have to use your words and tell me, Naruto! Please.”

“I’m not a kid anymore! You keep treating me like I'm five, and then you call me 'young man', what a joke! I don’t need Itachi walking me home." 

"Why? You love Itachi!"

"He’s too obsessed with me, and it’s creepy! It isn’t right, and needs to leave me alone!” Naruto cried out. He didn't want Mikoto to say those words again...he didn't want anyone else to say out loud that he loved Itachi. 

“What…” 

“It’s not my fault he doesn’t have any friends and all the kids hate him...and now I hate him too! Make him leave me alone.”

“Did...did...Itachi hurt you in anyway? Did he touch you…?” Mikoto asked and her hands jutted out to touch Naruto, but the blonde leapt back, violently backing up from her touch. He didn't want to be touched. 

“What?! No!” 

“Did anyone touch you?”

“No! Stop asking me that!”

“I can’t...I have to. With everything that happened to you, I don't want anyone to hurt you ever again. I’m your mother!”

“You’re not my mother! You’ll never be my mother! I hate you!” 

**_SLAP_ **

It was the sound of skin against skin. A hand came down and with all the strength struck him across the face. It stung. The impact caused his head to jerk to the side. It happened too quickly it didn't register. He thought it was Mikoto and he was ready to lash out, but it wasn’t Mikoto. Naruto’s hand went defensively to his cheek that was beating raw. It was a foreign pain. A pain he hadn’t felt in years. It throbbed. He looked to see Sasuke. He appeared between Naruto and Mikoto. The look in Sasuke's eyes was pure anger. 

"Apologize right now Uzumaki Naruto!" Sasuke lectured. 

"No!"

Naruto’s eyes filled with tears and he looked up at Mikoto to see she was crying. Her hands went to cover her face. But it didn't hide her sobbing nor her shoulders from trembling. He didn’t allow Sasuke to see him cry. The tears flooded his eyelids but not a single drop fell. He could feel guilt pumping bile into his stomach. He pushed past Sasuke and stormed down the hallway. He saw Itachi leaning up against the wall and for a moment they caught each other’s eyes. Naruto glared back at Itachi who carried an expression that said: he heard everything. 

Naruto slammed the bathroom door closed and locked it. Barely bending over the toilet just as the hot, vomit erupted up his esophagus; emptying the contents of his stomach into the porcelain bowl. A fitting ending to a shit-tastic day.

*****

“Naruto…” Sasuke whispered. The blonde rolled over in his bed to see Sasuke at the side of his bed. He was just on the cusp of falling asleep but was pulled back to consciousness by Sasuke's voice. 

“Mhm…?” Naruto murmured stifling a yawn. A week had passed. Mikoto took him to see Shizune twice, and Naruto had calmed down immensely. 

“What’s going on with you and Itachi?” Sasuke asked. He kneeled down on his knees, and rested his elbows on the edge of the bed. Naruto's eyes glanced to their closed bedroom door. They were alone. It was the first time Sasuke was asking, and he was asking, not to be nosey, but because he was genuinely concerned, because that's just who Sasuke is. The next morning after the incident Sasuke was the first to apologize to Naruto even though he did nothing wrong. It only caused Naruto's stomach to twist up into knots. 

Naruto didn’t know how to answer that question, because he didn’t know the answer himself. It started with Shisui last summer calling Naruto out for liking Itachi...for liking Itachi in a way he shouldn’t. Those feelings continued even after last summer. Until...until everything came to a grinding halt when he overheard Itachi on the phone, and he was talking to satan's spawn reincarnate. 

The events played out so clearly in Naruto's mind it was as if he was watching it on a projector. Naruto shoved Itachi’s bedroom door open, and it slammed against the wall, causing Itachi to spin around. The moment Itachi saw it was Naruto the phone slipped from his hands and fell to the floor. The hard plastic busted and came apart. The expression on Itachi's face was the same expression Shisui wore when Naruto caught him masturbating. The expression of doing something wrong and haven been caught red-handed. 

“Itachi is still talking with Izumi…” Naruto answered truthfully. It wasn't like he could lie to Sasuke. 

She tried to kill him last summer, and Itachi was using his soft voice when speaking to her on the phone. He still had nightmares. Naruto was fleeing from her, and came to the edge of the bridge. She pushed him without hesitation. It was premeditated. She really wanted him to die. It would have been made to be an accident. There were no witnesses on the bridge. Just them. And Naruto would have drowned if not for a passerby who heard Naruto’s petrified screaming. It was Naruto's last ditch effort to call for help just before he sunk one final time beneath the waters, and it worked. 

“That bastard!” Sasuke cursed. 

“I hate him…” Naruto answered his eyebrows furrowed together and his mouth frowned. He was lying. He didn’t hate Itachi. On the contrary. He loved him...more than just ‘pretend siblings’ love. He loved him, and Itachi was -secretly- talking to the girl who tried to kill him last summer. It was worse than a knife to the back. It was as if Itachi looked him dead in the eyes as he buried the blade deep in Naruto’s gut, twisted, and pulled the blade out disemboweling him. 

“Are you going to ever talk to him again?” Sasuke asked. It’s been over two weeks and Naruto was giving Itachi the silent treatment, a week since the incident with Mikoto, and Naruto wasn't showing any signs of surrendering.

“No way! I’d rather stick a needle in my eye.” 

“I’ll give him the silent treatment too!” Sasuke said with a smile and a clenched fist. Naruto looked Sasuke up and down. He was still hesitant with Sasuke. He tried telling Itachi and Sasuke last summer that Izumi was up to know good and neither believed him. Naruto knew Sasuke’s love for Itachi ran deep and he would probably carry on with the silent treatment for a few days, but Naruto knew, Sasuke would cave and talk with Itachi by day three. Sasuke was forever the mediator.

“Mhm…” Naruto humored with a shrug. 

“Are you going to apologize to mom?” Sasuke asked. Mikoto had caved at dinner time -tonight- and told Naruto he didn’t have to walk home with Itachi anymore. She caved after a week of Naruto being grounded and cooped up in his room. Even still, Naruto hadn’t apologized for being cruel to her. He shook his head no. He was working on an apologize with Shizune. He wanted to learn a new song and sing it to Mikoto as a way to apologize.

“You hav’ta...” Sasuke lectured. 

“Mhm…” Naruto gave a nonverbal. It was enough to cause Sasuke to pull the pillow right from under Naruto’s head and hit him with it. 

“Hey!” Naruto protested, pushing himself up, but Sasuke struck him in the face. “Stopit!” Naruto cried out, but the answer was another face full of goose down pillow. It struck him, hard, across the face, and caused Naruto to understand that Sasuke wasn’t holding back. Sasuke was laughing. It was a nice sound and it warmed Naruto’s insides up. To Naruto, Sasuke was the best when he was laughing. During school he rarely smiled and even rarer laughed. The older they became, the more he became serious and studious at school. Naruto cherished the times like these when Sasuke broke out into melodic laughter. It warmed his heart. 

“I had to change that sour-puss expression on your face! It doesn’t suit you! You know what mom always says...you hav’ta use your words, Naruto!” Sasuke laughed as he struck Naruto again in the face. Naruto leaped off the bed and tackled Sasuke to the ground. The two tousled and rolled around until Sasuke pinned Naruto down.

“Pinned ya!” Sasuke said with a cocky smile. It was almost too easy. It frustrated Naruto. 

“Alright-alright...get off me! Off!” Naruto growled and Sasuke pushed himself off. Naruto tried to do a sneak attack, and tackled Sasuke once more to the floor. This time Naruto used all his energy and strength to try and pin Sasuke down, but the result was always the same. Sasuke on top, and pinning Naruto to the ground.

“Pinned ya again, ya dirty cheat!” Sasuke said with that sly smile. It caused Naruto to break out in uncontrollable laughter. He still couldn't best Sasuke even after all these years. 

“Let me go!”

“Apologize!”

“I’m sorry!”

“No...apologize in japanese!” 

“Gomen'nasai!” Naruto taunted and stuck his tongue out defiantly. 

“Say it properly!” Sasuke accused and began tickling Naruto. The blonde was too sensitive and instantly broke out into louder bursts of laughter, which made it very difficult to breathe let alone to speak. It left Naruto gasping as he pleaded for Sasuke to stop. Sasuke didn't and he continued the tickling torture. 

“Gomen'nasai! Gomen'nasai! Gomen'nasai!”

Naruto stared up at Sasuke who was equally giggling. It was in this moment that Naruto understood something, he hadn't noticed before, he realized that Sasuke was somebody very important to Naruto...he was precious...he was his precious person. His heart thumped painfully. 

"Thank you...Sasuke...for everything..." Naruto spoke endearingly as he looked into those inky-orbs of his most precious person.

Sasuke stopped instantly, and stared down at Naruto. The laughter had stopped, and Sasuke’s face was wearing an expression Naruto hadn’t witnessed before. Naruto blinked and looked up just as he was about to ask what was wrong Sasuke slammed the pillow over Naruto’s face and pressed down. Naruto inhaled a mouthful of fabric.

“Don’t look!” Sasuke cried out. He was ready to suffocate Naruto before he allowed the blonde to find out what was happening. 

Naruto coughed against the fabric that pushed against his nose and mouth blocking his breathing. He wiggled and tried to pull the pillow off. He really was choking. He felt Sasuke’s warm body get up, and he heard Sasuke’s pitter-patter of feet against the floor followed by the springs of his bed as they groaned with his weight. What. The. Fuck. Naruto pushed himself up and pulled the pillow off to find Sasuke burying himself underneath the blankets on his bed. 

“Are...you okay?” Naruto asked gasping for breath.

“Yes! Leave me alone!” Sasuke shouted from underneath the pile of blankets. Naruto was left stunned, his mind whirling, and panting loudly. 

*****

“Do you have anybody that you like, Naruto?” Konan asked as she began dealing the cards. They were playing five card poker. 

“I’m ten…” Naruto answered. It wasn’t an answer. It was evading a question by stating a fact as if that was enough to satisfy her. He looked up at Konan who gave him a curt smile. She knew, and she wasn't satisfied. 

“So you do have someone you like,” Konan answered. She looked at the playing cards in her hand and smiled, “If I win this round you have to tell me who it is.”

“I could just lie…” Naruto said with a shrug as he peeked at the cards in his hands. He had a lucky hand. Two pair. Twos and eights. He discarded the seven and another card was dealt to him. It was a Queen. 

“Is this really what we’re betting on? Getting a ten year old to tell us who he has a crush on? Fucking boring Konan...” Pein complained looking at the cards in his hands. He appeared to rearrange the cards before discarding two. He didn’t look pleased with the hand he was dealt and made it obvious. Pein was easy to read when it came to poker. The other two, Nagato and Konan, were the hardest. 

“Mhm. We start small.” Konan answered. Nagato sighed he was the first to fold. “...and then the stakes grow,” Konan finished. 

“And if I win?” Naruto asked. Pein folded. It was just Naruto and Konan left. 

“I’ll show you another dirty magazine. Shisui told us what happened last summer. It’s natural to be curious...only this one...it’s a little different. It’s softcore...not hardcore like what you saw last year.”

“That pervert-Shisui told you?!” Naruto shrieked and immediately filed a note to kick Shisui’s teeth in the next time he saw him. He wasn’t above punching him in the balls so maybe he'd do that instead. He relished in the image of Shisui last year when his face twisted up into pain, he cupped his manhood, and drool rolled out of his mouth as he rolled around the concrete. 

The summer started off with Shisui and his grandmother moving from the city. They moved into a brownstone a few blocks away from Naruto’s apartment. The worst of it was Izumi moved with them. Naruto didn’t know the details, didn’t want to know the details, but Shisui’s father was locked up in the penitentiary outside of the city. It was a domino effect following Naruto regaining consciousness in the hospital, and telling everyone -anyone- who would listen, everything that happened on the bridge. Everything.

Izumi was removed temporarily. She went to a home for incorrigible children. Shisui’s father was arrested, and Shisui was placed in the custody of his grandmother. None of that mattered the only thing that flipped Naruto's life upside down was Izumi appeared back in his life. He knew before he saw her. Their first encounter was on the playground. She was older, taller, and she was hitting puberty. He wanted her to return ugly, hunched-back, and hideous. She returned even more beautiful than she was last summer and it infuriated Naruto, because, Itachi immediately went to her side. Fallen under her spell once more. It only caused Naruto to push Itachi even further away. 

“Mhm...we like Shisui,” Konan commented. “Show your cards.” 

Naruto laid down his hand and Konan smiled, “That’s a good hand...but I have the high card.” Konan revealed her hand. Also a two pair, but her fifth card was an Ace. Shit.

“Tell us brat...who do you like?” Pein asked. Naruto gave him a look of disgust. Suddenly he was interested. Pff. 

“What? If I tell you are you going to use it as material to jack off to?” Naruto snarled. His mouth was equally as nasty as Pein and it caused the older boy to howl in laughter. 

“He likes Itachi…” Shisui replied opening the door to their secret base, which was just the old boathouse by the lake, and joining them at the table. Konan was collecting the cards, shuffling, and began dealing again. 

"What you're like in love with that freak-Itachi! Damn you're a real freak aren't you...Naruto..." Pein balked.

“Naruto you like boys?” Konan asked her eyes lighting up and her whole face brightened. 

“No! I don’t like anyone!” Naruto protested and turned his attention to Shisui, “You piece of fucking shit...are you going to hang out around me all summer again? Go find friends your own age!”

“I did...see they are my age, and they are my friends. The only one who doesn’t belong is you. You brat,” Shisui said as he ruffled Naruto's hair. He swatted Shisui's hand away and glowered at him. 

“Tch, they aren’t my friends. They’re just fun to be around. Unlike you Uchiha’s,” Naruto growled. 

“Ahh don’t lump me into the same boat as my cousins.” 

"And you...you said you hated Uchiha's!" Naruto accused turning his attention to Pein. The boy shrugged in response. 

“You’re full of surprises, Naruto…” Konan gushed her face flushing. “Knowing at the age of ten your sexuality. What does that make you...homosexual, or maybe pansexual...or maybe demisexual. Ah~ I am still unsure of mine.” Naruto stared at Konan half of what she said was so above his head all he could do was pretend to comprehend. He’d learned a while ago to figure it out with context clues and putting the pieces together.

"He's ten, Konan...he's still questioning. Also he's too young to even be classified as demisexual. Besides if he was engaged in any sexual activity we'd all be arrested," Nagato spoke. Naruto didn't like it when Nagato joined the conversation because things went even further over his head. 

"Why do we always have to put a label on things? We aren't cans of soup. If you like someone that should just be enough!" Pein offered his opinion. 

"All any of you talk about is sex you bunch of perverts," Naruto accused and rolled his eyes.

"You're a voyeur..."Konan offered and when she looked at Naruto's confused face she answered him. "It means gaining sexual pleasure from watching others when they are naked or engaged in sexual activity." Naruto felt his face turn a deep shade of scarlet. No it was the deepest shade of red that crayola would need to come up with a new name for the color altogether. 

"Enough with all this talk. We're in the presence of a child. Let's keep this PG," Shisui interrupted.

"Fuck off, Shisui, or do you want me to tell them what I caught you doing last summer~" Naruto began but was interrupted by Shisui.

“Alright-alright-alright back to the game. I’ll tell you what Uzumaki...you win this round and I’ll tell you a secret about Itachi. It’ll be like taking bitter medicine and it’s about time you realize it because it’ll save you a lot of heartache in the future.”

"See...this is why we like Shisui," Pein explained. He discarded one card. 

“Shisui...you’re almost poetic,” Konan purred. She discarded two cards.

“And keeping with the spirit the information you have you’re not giving it away, you’re wagering, a man who will go far in the business world. You’re going to follow after your father’s footsteps. Tell me Shisui, are you also going to have an obsession with little girls too?” Pein commented. The air grew stale. Like the inside of a bread bag. Naruto looked at Pein’s eyes. They were swirling in mass hysteria. A cyclone of mayhem that was going to destroy everything in its path leaving only devastation. Naruto turned his attention to see how Shisui would react. It was the talk of the town. Everybody knew about Shisui and Izumi. 

“You keep sticking close to a ten year old brat...care to enlighten me why you’re hanging around Uzumaki if you’re not getting off on it in your own way?” Shisui countered. "You talk a lot of shit about Itachi, yet here you are." 

“That brat may look ten, but he doesn’t act ten and he doesn’t talk like he’s ten,” Pein defended. “Plus his mouth is probably the only mouth that can rival mine.”

“Stop talking about my age! You taught me to play poker a month ago and yet you haven’t been able to beat me once, fuckface, go eat shit and die!” Naruto interjected. The majority of the conversation centered around his age, and every time it made Naruto feel smaller and smaller until he felt like a toddler, in a highchair, demanding juice. 

“You’re one to talk it’s not like you can beat Konan!”

“He has the eyes of an adult. Wild, beastly eyes. Beautiful eyes, really,” Konan answered whimsically turning to stare deeply into Naruto’s deep blue eyes. Blue eyes like the ocean that ran deep until those blues turned into the black watery depths of the ocean floor. He blinked and pulled back from her; scowling at them all. They were all talking as if he wasn’t in the room he wanted them to focus back on this round of cards. 

“If I win Shisui you’re out of the group and you have to find your own friends,” Naruto snarled. He was in a foul mood. 

“...and if I win you’re out of the group, and you’ll have to go and play with the other kids in the sandbox.” 

“Deal!” Naruto agreed quickly. Too quickly that he didn’t even notice the trap Shisui set and ensnared him in. 

“You’re cruel, Shisui…” Konan spoke shaking her head and shifting in her seat. A look of disapproval settled on her small features. 

“Just when I was getting used to the little brat being around. I’m going to miss you,” Pein said with mock sympathy. 

“What’s going on?” Naruto asked suspiciously. The mood of the room changed and everybody was talking as if Naruto had already lost. His grip tightened on the cards in his hand. 

“You didn’t know, Naruto?” Nagato spoke softly. Naruto turned to glare at him. It was obvious he didn’t know what any of them were going on about, the majority of the time, he didn't know what they were saying. Nagato flashed a half-smile as he explained. “We met Shisui last summer. He was the one who taught us how to play poker. None of us have been able to beat him. Not even once.”

Naruto turned his attention to Shisui who flashed him an all-knowing smile. An evil god. It didn’t matter. The bet was made. There was no take-backsies. It was playground rules through and through. Naruto looked at the cards in his hand. He was confident. Three Kings. He discarded the two remaining cards hoping for a Full House. The two cards were dealt to him and he looked at them. Fuck. Nothing. Zilch. It was still a good hand. He looked up at Shisui and the smile he wore was as if he won the lottery. There was a sinking feeling in his stomach. He could feel his fruity pebbles churning and the milk curdling.

“Show me your hand, kiddo.” 

Naruto tossed his hand on the table, “Three of a kind.” 

“Oh~ Kings...close...but...not close enough. Read them and weep. A Straight,” Shisui said and revealed his hand. He pointed towards the door. “That’s the door...don’t let it hit you on the way out.” 

Naruto lost, and with it, his spot in the all inclusive group. He stood up his hands gripping into fists. Half of him wanted to yell and scream. To accuse Shisui of setting him up, but he did none of that, he wanted to take what little of his dignity was left, and leave with his head held high. 

*****

Naruto made his way down the path, through the woods, when he heard footsteps running up to him from behind. 

“Hey...wait…” Shisui breathed. Naruto turned around to see Shisui panting. 

“That was a lucky hand...and you didn’t even throw a tantrum I’m proud of you.”

“Eat shit and die!” 

“That’s more like it...but I’ll let you in on a secret about Itachi...you ready?”

Naruto spun on his heels and began walking away. He wasn’t going to give Shisui the satisfaction. The older Uchiha ran up and walked alongside him. Naruto quickened his pace, but the older boy matched it with ease. It was useless. Naruto slowed back down.

“As cold as ever. It’s fine you walk and I’ll talk,” Shisui explained. He threw his hands behind his head as they walked. Naruto looked away. He decided to give him the silent treatment as Shisui explained, “Itachi has a hero complex. The only people that catch his interest are damsels in distress. He’s always been that way, and it will always be that way. It can’t be helped in some cases, but in Itachi’s case, it’s the only people that he cares about, well, I guess besides his parents and brother...but even that is up for debate.”

Naruto stopped walking his eyes trained to the beaten path of the woods. He didn’t understand. 

“It’s the same with you as it is with Izumi...only...sorry to say this, kid, but Izumi beats you by a mile when it comes to the tragic backstory, and for that, she will always be first in Itachi’s heart.” 

“That...doesn’t make any sense…” Naruto said. 

“Ah~ it does, it does. Just think about it. Itachi doesn’t have any friends, and those he does talk to have experienced some trauma. It’s the only thing that excites him. He’s a bit of a sociopath...being attracted to something so sickening, the opposite of his boring, sheltered, life.” 

Naruto glared up at Shisui. The expression told Naruto he wasn’t lying and he shifted his eyes away. Shisui was always a straight shooter. It was the take away from last summer.

“It’s only a matter of time before Itachi and Izumi become a couple. Izumi isn’t really blood so it isn’t--”

“Incest,” Naruto answered. Shisui smiled, “Yeah, so it isn’t incest.” 

“It’d never work with us anyways...I’m four years younger…” Naruto refused to say his age out loud. He had that smashed in his face enough over the past hour.

“You’re right. You’re ten." Naruto winced as Shisui continued. "A snot-nosed brat.” 

“Itachi isn’t normal...you put him on a pedestal but he’s equally as messed up as Izumi is. I figured I’d warn you, because I don’t like the way he looks at you. Just like I don't like the way they look at you,” Shisui motioned back towards the direction of the boathouse. "You're a kid Naruto...and you need to start acting like a kid. Stop hanging around older kids and start hanging around the kids your own age." 

“What do you mean the way he looks at me?” Naruto asked. He wasn't listening to the whole lecture, just the part about Itachi. The only relevant part. Shisui quirked an eyebrow. Surely Naruto must know what he was talking about.

“Like he wants to punish you...he looks at you the same way Izumi looked at you last summer.”

“Y-You’re l-lying.” 

“What would I have to gain? I’m telling you because you’re not apart of the Uchiha’s. In case you haven’t realized our whole family is cursed. Some worse than others, take Izumi, just being associated with the Uchiha’s royally fucked up her life. It’s only a matter of time before you too fall victim.” 

“Why are you telling me this?”

“Because, I for one refuse to fall victim, and like I said before, you’re pretty alright...pretty cool for a brat.” 

Naruto stood still. It was a lot. Shisui dumped a lot of information on him, all at once, and it took Naruto a while to sort through the mess. It was disorientating, as if he was sorting through a huge pile of miss-matched socks and trying to make pairs in a short time frame. Shisui spun around and began walking back to the old boathouse. He got about ten feet down the path before~

“Wait…” Naruto called out. Shisui turned around, not bothering to hide the grin on his lips. Clearly smug that he piqued Naruto’s interest enough to call out to him. The brat was so hard to please it almost made Shisui try harder. 

“Do you think Itachi would really...hurt me?”

“Sasuke told me you have been giving Itachi the silent treatment over the past month, and Mikoto told me that Itachi is no longer walking you home from school.”

“Your point?”

“My poi~nt being, is even though he doesn’t show it, Itachi misses the attention you used to lavish him with, and now that attention is being withheld...it’s probably causing him to go a little coo-coo, which is probably why he’s spending all his time with Izumi.” 

"How do you know all of this?"

"Kinda like the way Sasuke knows what you're thinking from time to time...it's the same way with me when it comes to Itachi, and he knows it which is why he hates my guts." 

“...what if I _want_ to give him attention again?”

“Don’t. I’m warning you...it’s not healthy, kid. You need to distance yourself from Itachi. Cut-”

“Cut the cord?”

“Heh...yeah.”

“Heh,” Naruto scoffed and kicked at the ground. He stuck his hands in his pockets and began walking down the path. Shisui watched Naruto walking away before curiosity got the better of him.

“So...are you going to keep your distance from him? or what?”

“Mhm...who knows. I may have already been infected by the curse,” Naruto called out from over his shoulder.

“Tch. Cheeky bastard you're so not cute. Just remember. I did warn you! Do you hear me, Uzmaki?!” 

*****

“It’s pronounced thalidomide,” Sasuke enunciated. “It’s with a th- not with an ff-.”

“Thalidomide,” Naruto repeated and Sasuke nodded his head enthusiastically. Naruto repeated it a few more times until the word felt natural on his tongue. Naruto was able to pronounce every other word in the song with gifted ease, but had trouble with this one. They both had ‘We Didn’t Start the Fire’ lyrics printed off and were learning it.

“Do you think you have it now?” Sasuke asked and Naruto nodded his head. 

“Mom!” Sasuke shouted as he ran from the bedroom. “We’re ready!” 

Mikoto sat on the couch as Sasuke pressed play on the boombox. The long instrumental introduction blared through the speakers. Naruto began to sing his voice matching the vocals of Billy Joel. The lyrics didn’t mean anything to Naruto. It was a hodgepodge of words that flowed nicely. Word dissociation. He didn’t understand the historical accuracy the song portrayed of the world’s history from the time Billy Joel was born in 1949 until the song's release in 1989. Instead what was revealed was Naruto’s mastery of singing complicated words, and an innate lung capacity for singing long sequences of lyrics on a single breath. He wasn’t winded, unlike Sasuke, who had to stop several times to catch his breath. Naruto continued with ease. 

Naruto continued singing and nothing distracted him from the beat, the lyrics, the tempo. The perfect pronunciation. The words rolled off his tongue as if he knew what half of them meant. Even when Itachi came home and joined Mikoto on the couch. Naruto tried to avoid Itachi’s gaze, but Shisui’s words echoed in the back of his mind, and he couldn't stop staring at Itachi. When Naruto finished the song both Mikoto and Itachi clapped their hands.

“Naruto! You’re voice is a gift from the gods!” Mikoto cheered standing up. “I just know one day I’m going to listen to you while you’re performing live on stage!” 

*****

That night Itachi cornered Naruto. He entered the bedroom without permission and closed the door. Naruto looked up. He knew if he screamed Mikoto would come running. Naruto had screamed in the past when Itachi tried to corner Naruto into talking to him. But he never cornered Naruto in the bedroom, and never closed the door, uninvited. When he screamed it wasn’t because he was afraid of Itachi, on the contrary, he wanted Itachi to know how serious he was and how long he intended on playing this game. Only this time Naruto was curious to see what Itachi would do, and what he would say, so he remained still. 

“What exactly are your intentions, Naruto? How long are you going to keep this up?” Itachi asked. It had been several weeks since Itachi's last attempt at persuading him. 

“You tell me, Itachi, how long are you going to continue to speak to that bitch? Who tried to kill me...yeah what exactly are your intentions with her?” Naruto fired back. Being around the older children left a brazen confidence he wore like armor. 

“That…”

“I know why. It’s because you 'get off' on it, don’t you.”

“What?”

“You jerk off to it don’t you.” Naruto fired back. Itachi pushed off the door and began moving closer to Naruto who was now sitting upright on his bed; glaring back. 

“I don’t know what-”

“Drop it, Itachi. I’m not stupid. Drop the act. It's just you and me in this room, and you have about five more minutes before Sasuke is done with his bath. You caught me last year with the magazine, just like I caught Shisui jacking off. Everybody does it, and if you don’t...that means you’re an even bigger loser than the kids say!” 

Itachi was pushing Naruto back. He covered Naruto’s mouth and straddled him. Naruto’s eyes widened. He didn’t protest. He remained still. He wanted to see where this would lead them. Shisui’s voice whispered in his ear but he couldn't make out the words it was a distant memory. The feeling of Itachi’s warm hand up against his mouth, against his lips, made his mind go into a dark place, and he thought of things he’d never say out loud. 

“Shut up! What has gotten into you? Your mouth is filthy...Stop it...just speak to me normally again, please! I don’t understand...” 

Itachi pulled his hand away, Naruto was still pinned beneath him, and the blonde remained still. 

“You know why I’m like this. I won’t speak to you ever again until you admit it.”

“Admit what?”

“Why I’m like this. We probably have four more minutes alone.” 

“I...don’t know what you’re talking about. Naruto you’re ten years old and I’m fourteen.”

“It doesn’t matter...soon I’ll be older. Soon I’ll be a teenager...I'll be thirteen!”

“And I’ll be seventeen…”

“Soon I’ll be seventeen!”

“And I’ll be twenty-one.” 

“When I’m twenty-one…”

“You’re going to wait that long?”

“Yes!”

“You’re a kid...Naruto…you don’t know what you’re feeling, and all I see in front of me is a kid!”

“And what am I feeling?”

“Nothing, because you’re ten. You’re just a little kid, pretending to be an adult, carrying a conversation you know nothing about. I just want things to go back to the way they were.” 

"I'm not your goddamn pet whose going to follow you forever like a lovesick puppy," Naruto declared his voice filled with malice that was too much for his tiny body. He then spit at Itachi. The older boy brought a hand to the saliva that rolled down his cheek and smeared it off. 

Just like that in the span of one cold, calculating, sentence his feelings were dismissed. Brushed off as if it was nothing more than dander. Itachi didn’t outwardly admit what Naruto wanted him to admit. Naruto wanted Itachi to admit that Naruto liked him and that Itachi knew Naruto liked him. Instead he went about in a roundabout way, and not only didn’t he admit it, but he broke his heart all in one go. Gobsmacked. It left him delirious. Itachi pulled himself off of Naruto and stood up. 

“Naruto...what are your intentions with Sasuke? You’ve been spending all your time with him now, when you barely paid attention to him all year,” Itachi asked. His voice went lower, colder. He heard it. There was jealousy in Itachi’s voice. Naruto perked up when he picked up on it. It felt like a victory and he had to use all his muscles not to smile, or maybe he was doing this on purpose... 

“Sasuke is the same age as me, and he isn’t talking to Izumi~”

Time was up. Sasuke opened the door to the bedroom. Dressed in pajamas. Hair wet. A towel around his shoulders. He looked at Itachi who was standing in the middle of the room, and then brought his attention to Naruto, who was laying on his back staring up at the ceiling. 

“Uh...the bath is ready.” 

“Mhm.” Naruto said as he jumped off the bed, grabbed his bathroom caddy, and left the room. 

*****

"Okay...okay are you ready?" Naruto asked Sasuke.

"Yes...what are you going to show me?"

"Hmm...move a little to the right I need you to get the full experience front and center," Naruto directed as he pointed to the exact spot he wanted Sasuke to stand. They were in the courtyard of their apartment complex. The sun was setting and Naruto had mastered the trick and he wanted someone to witness his brilliance. It was nearing the end of the summer and the August heat caused Sasuke to seek refuge in the air conditioned apartment, and only agreed to come out into the blistering heat because Naruto was brimming with happiness and enthusiasm. 

The dark-haired boy laughed and moved a few feet to the right. Naruto dropped the skateboard down and stood on the board with his knees bent, he jumped into the air with his right foot out front and his left foot kicked down on the back of the board. He was airborne, crouching and gaining momentum, he leveled the board out in midair and just before landing, he straightened his legs out, and collided back down to the earth. Perfect execution. 

"Ta-da!" Naruto said as he rolled on top the board his arms spread out as if he just made an elephant disappear. 

"What did I just witness?"

"Me mastering an ollie!" 

"Oh..."

"Don't sound so disappointed it took me forever! At least act a little more happy for me, dude!"

"Oy! Naruto!" a voice was calling him from the sidewalk. It was a group of their classmates at the entrance of the courtyard. "We're on our way to the Pennywise Arcade...you in?"

"Yeah...Sasuke's coming with us too," Naruto shouted back. He kicked his skateboard up and into his hand. He turned to Sasuke, "You ready, dude?"

"I...they didn't invite me..." Sasuke spoke slowly his eyes focused down and avoiding eye contact. The older he got the more withdrawn he'd become. The more introverted and socially awkward. Naruto appeared to grow in the opposite direction: more confident and comfortable with himself, pulled Sasuke along. 

"I can't go without you...you know I'm socially crippled without you, S'ske...common'," Naruto coaxed. He threw an arm around Sasuke's neck and pulled him toward their classmates that were waiting for them. "Besides all I've been hearing is I need to socialize with kids my own age. Think of it as therapy sessions with me." 

"Mhm," Sasuke agreed his face flushing with excitement. 

"Yeah with you by my side I can do anything."


	12. Load up on guns, bring your friends

#  **Load up on guns, bring your friends**

 

“Yo...Uchiha-Bitch. I got a present for you.” 

A foot came out and kicked the lunch table closer to Naruto. The aim was precise and aimed to bruise a few ribs. The legs of the table scraped across the cafeteria floor. The edge of the table struck his diaphragm with an ‘oomph’, and the unexpected momentum caused his open carton of chocolate milk to topple over, and saturated what was left of his meatless Monday lunch special. 

So much for a peaceful lunch. Eh. It was never his style anyways. Another bloody Monday. Naruto smirked, tossed his fork up in the air, leaned back in his chair, and brought his eyes up to greet Gaara’s impenetrable arid hues. The heat miser to his snow miser. Just when Naruto thought they could be civil with each other following their impromptu rehearsal last week, it turned out, it was a one time flux.

Naruto could taste it. Gaara was out for blood. He’d be lying if he said it didn’t excite him. His heartbeat quickened in anticipation. It was now his turn to respond. 

“Lay off the marijuana, Gaara...it’s affecting the last few of your brain cells. Grow up and do coke it’s what the rest of the kids are doing. It’s U-zu-maki. You’re close though. At least you’re in the same part of the alphabet.” 

“What the fuck man you have a death wish or somethin’?!” Kiba carped, and he stood up, looking angrily at his own saturated lunch tray. Only in his case the chocolate milk splashed off the tray and into his lap. The unintended victim. A dark stain appeared dangerously on the crotch of his pants. Ino flipped her hair and crossed her legs, folding her arms under her breasts, and propping them up. 

“Har-har...aren’t we the funny one. I just heard that you’re dating the student council president? Is that true?” Gaara asked connivingly, ignoring Kiba, avoiding Ino’s breasts, and focusing his attention on Naruto. The blonde shrugged, a nonverbal. He wanted to know Gaara’s true intentions and where this sudden onslaught came from. 

“If it’s about judging the talent show, he’s already told you, he stepped down. It's got nothing to do with him now,” Naruto offered. He didn’t know what more he wanted. Sasuke was no longer playing guitar in the band, and he was no longer apart of the judging. No-no-no. This was about something else entirely. 

“He's obviously dating Sasuke, and Sasuke has no part in the talent show. So get to the point Gaara, you waste of human skin,” Ino reprimanded. She still hadn’t forgotten that he had her nudes for ransom. 

“Where’s my present?” Naruto asked with a tilt of his head and looked around. He hadn’t forgotten Gaara’s initial statement. The answer lies within whatever this present was. He knew it.

“Exactly my point...you’re an Uchiha-Bitch. And should be treated as such,” Gaara said and pointed at Naruto’s jugular. He pulled from his messenger bag a leather collar and tossed it on the table. Oh? Naruto leaned over and picked it up. He examined the familiar black leather collar with the words ‘Daddy’s Slut’ embroidered in fourteen karat gold; a soft laugh escaped his lips. He wondered how Gaara got his hands on this, and was tempted to ask, but he’d save it for another place at another time. Luckily for Gaara Naruto being able to perform this Friday was more important than punching him and getting suspended. 

“Ah~showing me your accessories from your BDSM collection? It’s a fitting collar for you, Gaara.” 

“You know exactly where I got this collar from!” Gaara challenged. 

Ino straightened up picking up immediately on the undertones and shot Naruto a look that clearly said, ‘you’re keeping secrets from me’. Kiba was lost to everything around him as he began to blot the chocolate milk from his crotch and muttering 'fuckin' a'. Naruto remained quiet following the accusation. His mouth twisted into a forced smile-the kind of smile he wore when playing poker. He tried to keep his expression neutral, lighthearted, gleeful, but he was slipping. His eyes narrowing. Dissecting everything Gaara was saying looking for clues. 

Gaara finally captured his attention, and Naruto slowly found himself in checkmate. 

“I want to add another bet to the pot. Whoever wins the talent show the loser has to wear this for a week straight.” 

“Who pissed in your fruit loops?” Ino asked, sensing Naruto’s body tense up, and she took the collar from Naruto’s hand and began to examine it herself. It was heavier than it looked. 

“I see.” Naruto said with a nod of his head understandingly, “You’re upset with what happened with Neji? We were never official and I broke things off so shouldn’t you be relieved, you can go back to pinning over him like a lovesick puppy,” He paused and stared Gaara dead in the eyes, “Or is it, my sloppy seconds you don’t like? I mean leftovers, are equally as good if not better, as when it comes fresh from the kitchen.” 

“Shut up. If you’re in a relationship stop texting other boys, you bitch-in-heat! I saw the text messages from last night!” Gaara yelled and kicked the table again. Ino jerked her head to try to catch the expression Naruto wore, but she couldn’t, she wasn’t fast enough. Instead all she saw was a table flipping. Honestly if Gaara wanted to make a scene then Naruto was going to make a goddamn scene. 

Naruto’s reflexes were quicker the second time around. He was a fast learner. He grabbed the table with his hands and lifted it up, he flipped the table upwards and towards Gaara; standing up in the process. The other boy jumped back, narrowly escaping, as everything came crashing down-down-down in a whooshing sound. Everyone watched as the table crashed to the cafeteria floor in a loud noise that caused everyone in the cafeteria into silence, and they turned their heads toward the commotion. The trays, clattering, made a loud explosion of hard plastic colliding against linoleum tiles, and everybody watched -unblinking- as the contents of the meatless Monday surprise lunch and chocolate milk splattered all over. 

“I really hate your fucking guts you know that right?” Naruto said loftily with a cold laugh. 

He leaned over and snatched the collar from Ino’s hands, who was so stunned by the table flipping she became unresponsive, and turned his attention back to Gaara. He tilted his head side to side, and tossed the collar up and down in his hand. The air between them became so noxious it was as if they were using chemical warfare. Of the verbal variety. The students closest to them watched intently with bated breath. Naruto glanced around to find the audience at the edge of their seats, watching the impromptu stage performance, and he delivered. 

“If you actually read the text messages I was telling him -again- I wanted nothing to do with him. If you think you’re going to be a homewrecker you have another thing coming. I will literally rip your asshole out and shove it down your throat.”

“Keep twisting the reality, but I have the receipts,” Gaara said and held up his cellphone, “Do you want them posted? All of them?” 

“Mhm...coming from the guy who hacked Ino’s cloud. I better not, who knows how you’d dock them. Bakayaro.” Naruto shook his head and laughed again. He was backed into a corner after all. He had no other choice. It was checkmate. “Fi~ne, but I want a matching leash, for when I win this Friday night, I want you kept close to me, like a good doggy...and I want you to call me master and woof on command.”

“I hope sucking everyone’s dick doesn’t cause you to get a sore throat...I wouldn’t want you to miss the performance.” 

“Uzumaki! Sabaku no! My office now!” the principal screamed from across the cafeteria. 

“Naruto what the fuck is he talking about? What’s going on with you and Neji--- so I can do some damage control,” Ino whispered stepping in front of the blonde. The only response she received was a nonverbal shrug, a raise of his eyebrows, and a closed-lipped smile that said ‘who knows?’ She looked down to see him pressing the leather collar into her hands. Then he was gone, trailing behind Gaara, with his hands behind his head.

*****

“I want to change the song,” were the first words Naruto said when he exited detention. The door slammed shut behind him, and he began walking down the hallway. Kiba was waiting for him leaning up against the wall. The brunette pushed himself off the wall and balked following the blonde and throwing his arms up in protest.

“Are you shitting me? It’s in less than four days and we barely mastered one song, and you want us to learn another song? It’s just you and me! We don’t have another member-”

“If we can’t master a song in four days we might as well not perform at all...besides this will be a big fuck you to Gaara. I want to bring him to his knees, and I want him to know there is no competing with me. Ever.” More importantly he wanted him to regret ever getting his hands on the collar. 

“What song do you want to play?”

“Oh. The one Gaara’s going to perform of course.” 

“Wha-? H-How did you find out?” 

Naruto held up his mobile phone and his lips curled into a cruel smile; as if that was enough of an explanation. The sun was setting and flooded the hallway in an eerie soft glow of reddish-orange. The color of a wildfire. It set his eyes ablaze. It was a new determination. He didn’t just want to win. He wanted to humiliate Gaara. Kiba stared back not fully understanding, but knew Naruto wouldn’t give him the answer even if he asked again. Kiba cleared his throat and decided to just roll with things. 

“Okaay, but what song is it you want us to learn?”

“The most unoriginal song...Smells like Teen Spirit.” 

“Fuckin’ A.” 

“I’m spending the week at your house...we’re not sleeping until we mastered this, do you understand? I’ll meet you at your house in an hour.”

“Alright-alright...but you better score some coke if you’re making me learn a whole new song! Isn’t that what you said...grow up, it’s what all the kids are doing these days?”

“Yeah-yeah. Later.”

*****

What are you waiting for?

Naruto pushed open the front door to the loft apartment. He wasn’t expecting to find Itachi inside, but he did. The twenty-one year old was standing in front of an easel staring at a blank canvas. He was in the exact same position as when Naruto left this morning for school. Naruto sighed heavily. Here goes round two. He closed the door softly as not to disturb the artist. He might as well have slammed it, because, the end result was the same. Itachi stirred and the illusion that captured his attention broke. He was pulled from the dark depths of his mind and found himself back in reality. He turned to see Naruto staring back. 

“Naruto-” Itachi began, but the blonde was rolling his eyes, pushing off the door, and making his way to the spiral staircase. Ignoring him. 

“We have to talk eventually…” Itachi lamented loudly. His voice echoed against the vaulted ceiling. 

“You wanna talk? Tell me where Izumi is…” Naruto called down from the loft. 

“Izumi?” 

“Yeah~I think it’s time I pay her a visit, ya know, for old times sake...I’m feeling pretty freakin’ nostalgic lately.”

Naruto was pulling clothes from the hangers of his portable closet, and stuffing them violently into his Adidas duffel-bag. The essentials. Shirts, pants, socks, clean underwear. Satisfied. He swung the bag around his shoulder. He grabbed his 1989 Gibson and placed it gently in its case, closing it, and locking it. He grabbed the case with both hands before descending the stairs. Itachi was awaiting him patiently at the bottom. A balrog preventing his escape. 

“What are you doing with Sasuke? You need to leave him alone,” Itachi said coldly. 

“What am I doing with him? I’m dating him, as in boyfriend and boyfriend...a normal...healthy fucking relationship.” 

“Healthy?! In what way is it healthy? Please...tell me. I’d love to hear your definition of ‘healthy’” Itachi fired back. Naruto clenched his jaw shut.

Even after all these years it was sometimes hard to look at Itachi. He was older, but he wasn’t taller anymore. They were the same height. His skin the color of china porcelain. Nonexistent pores. Smooth soft skin. His long hair, the color of spilled ink on white carpet, was pulled back into a low ponytail. Eyes the color of dead space stared at him, waiting, for his explanation. Naruto bit his lower lip and pushed past Itachi, only, Itachi wasn’t going to let him escape without an explanation. 

“Does he know what happened between you and me?”

“What?” Naruto spun around. “Nothing happened between us...and if you think anything happened to us you’re goddamn delusional and need to lay off the ketamine.” 

“Do you want me to say it out loud? What you and I did? I know how you 'get off' on me saying things out loud.”

“No! Fucking choke on it for all I care. I’ve moved past that stage...the only thing I want from you is to tell me where Izumi is!”

“Why? What’s your sudden fascination with Izumi?”

“Because...I’m going to -politely- ask her how a classmate of mine got his hands on the collar.” 

Itachi was left speechless. It didn’t last long. Itachi was a true genius. He graduated high school one year early. He turned down all the scholarships to Ivy League schools, and instead went to the most prestigious art school in the country. Shisui called him a sociopath, his parents called him troubled, Sasuke called him obsessive, and Naruto was the only one who saw him for what he was...an artistic genius. How did he get in? Itachi got in based on a painting he submitted. Oils on canvas. 222.5 cm × 222.5 cm. It was borderline child exploitation, much like Lewis Carol photographing Alice Lidell, in provocative outfits and poses, Itachi, painted Naruto in equally provocative outfits and poses. It was a fine line between artistic expression and child pornography. And to the art world it was a master piece...and his painting was hanging up in some wealthy banker's home in the city. 

“So what did you do...I mean you must have done something to provoke your classmate. You must have fucked the wrong person~”

“Watch it, Itachi, you’re sounding jealous...you’re being too obvious, and it’s a big turn off.” 

“You can’t keep playing this same game and expect me to still be here. It’s becoming boring.” 

“With you, everything is a game, and we will never stop playing. I mean isn't that why _you_ convinced _me_ to move in with you? Or was it so you could keep your eye on me and make sure I didn't blab your secret?” 

Itachi snorted and folded his arms, “So why drag Sasuke into everything? Funny...how he’s the one person who you made absolutely sure knew nothing about anything, and yet, here you are with my baby brother.” 

“Tell me where Izumi is,” Naruto wasn't going to fall into one of Itachi's many traps. 

“Why don’t we play a round, and bet on it?” 

“I….I don’t have time.”

“You’re serious...what’s got all your attention now? Because I know it isn’t my baby brother.” 

“I’m going to win the talent show.”

“What’s so great about a high school talent show? It’s nothing but child’s play. Let me know when you’re actually performing in front of a real audience. Then I’ll be impressed.”

“Because…” Naruto shook his head and laughed. He refused to answer. “Nothing...nothing is great about the talent show. It’s exactly as you said...it’s child’s play." He began walking away, "You’re not the only one who knows where Izumi is, ya'know.”

Naruto was bluffing. Although his statement was true. Itachi wasn’t the only one who knew where Izumi was, but he was the only one willing to divulge information. He didn’t spend any more time with Itachi. He left the apartment and made his way to Kiba’s.

*****

It was Thursday night and sweat poured from every pore. Naruto was bent over his hands on his sides and doing deep breathing exercises. Breathing through his nose and exhaling through his mouth. He moved his hands out in front of him and looked at the bandages wrapped around his fingers. The cuts and bruises. His hands wouldn’t stop shaking. They were sore, and tight, and gnarled. There was a throbbing pain that vibrated through bones. Each digit screamed in protest. Naruto flung his head back and flashed Kiba an award winning smile. They did it...they fucking executed it perfectly.

“I think we got it...that was...fucking perfect…Kiba. Every. Last. Note.” Naruto exhaled. Kiba who was in an equal state of total defeat flashed him the thumbs up sign. 

“Also the pièces de résistance…” Naruto said in his best french accent and went to the duffel-bag. He pulled out a six striped green t-shirt. The same t-shirt Kurt Cobain wore in the music video, followed by a long-sleeved white shirt. “Ta~da!”

“You’re really going all out...huh…” Kiba mustered what little strength he had left in response. 

Naruto picked up his phone that was charging and looked at the time. “I’ll be back in a bit I’m going to meet Sasuke.” 

“Hey...ah...this whole Sasuke thing, is it...is it serious?” Kiba called out after Naruto, and his words, immediately caused him to stop. It was the question that everybody had been asking him all week. 

“I don’t know. It’s only been what...nine days, if you quantify it, how many days does it have to be to become serious?”

“I ‘unno.” 

“Mhm...I wonder.”

*****

Naruto met Sasuke in the park at half past nine. He raised his hand in apology as he jogged up to Sasuke; who was waiting impatiently under the streetlamp.

“Sorry-sorry...I’m running late…lost track of time...practicing...”

He was met with a piece of paper shoved in his face. Naruto blinked and took it from Sasuke’s hands and began reading. It was the lineup for the performance tomorrow. Broken down into time slots of the performers in one column and what they were performing in another. It didn’t take long to see what Sasuke wanted to show him. He helped him by underlining his name and circling the song he was going to be performing in red. 

“Uh...yeah...we decided to change the song...last minute…” Naruto confessed.

“No! You’re copying the same song that Gaara is performing! What’s the matter with you? What happened to performing ‘I love Rock and Roll’?” 

Naruto didn’t answer and instead lowered the sheet of paper and stared at Sasuke. He wasn’t happy. He was livid. Lips pressing tight, eyes focusing inward. His face twisted up in a mixture of disappointment, anger, resentment, and disbelief. He should have known Sasuke was going to find out sooner rather than later. He straightened up. He should have prepared himself for the eruption. 

“What...it’s not like it’s against the rules,” Naruto defended. 

His body tensed up and he became stand-offish. It was a loophole. Naruto knew he was in the wrong, but he wasn’t backing down. This ran deeper. Gaara thought he’d shake Naruto up by getting his hands on the collar, and Naruto, wanted nothing more than to make Gaara eat shit, and regret ever bringing it out in public. He exhaled. He wondered at what age he stopped telling Sasuke everything...ah yes. Naruto knew exactly when things changed. Everything changed June 8th four years ago. He looked at his trembling fingers. He’d come this far, the talent show was less than twenty-four hours away, and he wasn’t going to back down. 

“This is so much better, you don’t understand, if I win with the same song that he’s performing, oh it will be so much better! The biggest fuck you ever. He'll never live it down. Just thinking of the expression he’s going to make…” Naruto was outright beaming. His eyes lit up and his smile grew and grew until all his pearly white teeth were showing. It wasn’t a nice smile. It was convoluted and twisted. His iceberg blue eyes dropped to the sheet of paper and he pointed to his spot in the lineup. He looked up excitedly at Sasuke practically bouncing on the balls of his heels.

“Look...I’m number 7...and Gaara...he’s number 12! It’s too perfect. They’ll all think he stole the song from me.” 

Sasuke grabbed the paper from Naruto’s hand and crumpled it up into a ball, “Do you think I’ll let you perform first?!”

“What are you saying?”

“I’m saying I’ll switch your time slots! I’ll have Gaara perform in slot 7 and you get slot 12.”

“You...can’t do that…!” 

“Yes I can. I’m the class president, and if you don’t change your song back I’ll do it...I’ll really switch your spots.” 

“What’s your problem? You said you wouldn’t interfere, and here you are fucking blackmailing me? I thought you were supposed to be my boyfriend!”

“Oh now we’re boyfriends only when it’s convenient for you?” 

“I...don’t know how this is supposed to work...okay? This-this is the first...relationship...I’ve been in. I don’t know all the rules, I’m trying…alright. It doesn’t give you the right to blackmail me just because I made you angry, ya’know...I’m sure there is a rule about not blackmailing your partner. I know how much you love rules.”

“That’s…” Sasuke trailed off. 

“Just give me this...one thing. Okay?” 

“No! You don’t get to do everything you want all the time. You're being petty and childish. Grow up, Naruto.” 

“You're fucking ridiculous,” Naruto said and spun around walking away. He felt his face grow hotter with anger. His heart thumped irregularly against his chest. Adrenaline pumped through his veins. The energy he lost during practice was back in full throttle. He was ready for round two. 

“Wait...where are you going?”

“The fuck away from you! What does it look like?”

*****

“Yo that was quick…you’re giving a new definition to the word 'quickie',” Kiba responded as Naruto reappeared back in the garage. “Uh...what happened, you look…”

“What exactly do I look like?” Naruto snapped. His voice shrill. His fists clenched. He kicked a chair that was nearest to him, and it flung backwards through the air, and landed on its side. 

“I don’t know anymore but not normal, dude, fucking chill out.” 

“Sasuke said if we didn’t change the song back he was going to switch our time slot with Gaara’s…”

“That’s so fucked up...what did you say?”

“I’m not switching. Not when we got everything down perfectly...no fucking chance. We’re doing this song. I don’t care if we’re first or last...we’re going to perform, and we’re going to take home first prize! Let’s take it from the top.”

Naruto swung his 1989 Gibson around his shoulders and stepped up to the microphone. He didn’t want to just be perfect. He wanted to go beyond perfection, leave all those earthly things behind, and reach nirvana. He started the iconic opening riff with ease and the music translated into emotion. There was something magical that took place when he was performing. He became detached from reality as if he perfected astral projection and his spirit was able to leave his body, and enter another world.

*****

Naruto was in a foul mood. Every little thing annoyed him. Last night’s interaction with Sasuke left a bad taste in his mouth, like drinking orange juice right after brushing his teeth. He smacked his tongue and glided his tongue over his teeth. There was a film of yuck and yet at the same time he was suffering from cottonmouth. Fucking perfect. He grabbed the water bottle and drank half of it. Squeezing the plastic as he chugged. He was tense, and on edge.

“Good mornin’, Naruto,” Sakura greeted. Naruto slammed his locker closed and glared at her. She jumped back,“Okay so, maybe it was a stretch to say ‘good’ mornin’...” 

Naruto continued to stare at her deadpan. He wasn’t in the mood for her early morning chipperness. And wished with all his might she’d sprout wings and fly away. Instead much like Navi from Legend of Zelda she stayed and seemed to say ‘Hey! Look! Listen!’ Much to his displeasure.

“I think you’ll feel better if you just apologize to Sasuke…” she suggested. 

“I didn’t do anything wrong.” 

“Well you didn’t do anything right either...maybe pay Sasuke a visit in the student council office during lunch. I bet you’ll feel better.” 

“Why should I apologize?”

“Because you’re dating and you can’t argue forever, and one of you has to be the first to apologize...and isn’t it always Sasuke who apologizes first? Tch, you’re being selfish again.” 

“Will he accept it?” Naruto asked and they began maneuvering through the hallway. She had a point. 99 times out of 100 Sasuke was the one who caved and apologized. The thought softened him and he began to chew the skin around his thumb nail. 

“Yes, don’t be stupid. Also,” Sakura turned a look of total enlightenment washed over her, and slugged Naruto in the shoulder. She had been practicing. She was on lesson four of her kickboxing classes. Naruto yelped a ‘what was that for’, and jumped away, his hand went to massage the impending bruise of ruptured capillaries. 

“For never shutting Ino up when she’s talking shit about me and this!” Sakura slugged him again this time in the opposite shoulder, “...is for not squashing those rumors that you are still hooking up with Neji.” 

“What...rumors?” Naruto asked as both hands simultaneously began massaging his shoulders. 

“Gaara said you’re still sexting Neji...and Neji isn’t denying it.” 

“Fucking Hyuuga…” Naruto growled. 

“So are you going to stop them?”

“It’s not true...why do I care if people talk, it doesn’t bother me none.”

“Because it’s making Sasuke uncomfortable! You need to tell him it isn’t true.” 

“He doesn’t believe those rumors does he?” Naruto stared at Sakura’s face. Fuck. “Oh my god...he thinks those rumors are true? Bakayaro.”

*****

Naruto slid the door open to the student council room. Sasuke was writing, and the other hand propped his head up. He looked completely miserable. It made Naruto feel better that he was equally miserable as he was. Sasuke glanced to the side, expecting to see Sakura, and once he realized it was Naruto, he moved his whole head, straightening up, and lowering the hand that propped his head up.

“I got you tomato juice…” Naruto said and showed him a can of V8 tomato juice. Sasuke quirked an eyebrow. Naruto walked in and tossed the can to Sasuke who caught it easily. He leaned on the desk in front of Sasuke. Suddenly the words weren’t forming and he struggled to articulate what he wanted to say. His brain went numb. Sasuke stared back at him silently. 

“I came to…”

“Are you changing the song back?”

“What? No!” 

“Then why are you here?” Sasuke asked and tightened his grip around the can. 

This was the only quality about Sasuke that both enamored and infuriated him. The expression he showed Naruto was the same one he always wore when he wanted Naruto to do something, and it revealed that he wasn’t going to back down nor give up, until Naruto did -exactly- what he wanted. 

“I just wanted you to know the rumors about Neji and I aren’t true…it was just Gaara’s way of making me agree to another bet. Also, it doesn't help that Gaara is totally gaga for the Hyuuga.”

“So putting your gibson on the line wasn’t enough you had to go and make another idotic bet? Jesus christ Naruto! How thick can you be?” 

“What can I say...these kinda bets excite me. Especially when I know I won’t lose.” 

“Well...good luck, because I’m not going to be there.” 

“You're not coming? Just because I won’t change the song back?”

“Yup.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?”

“Nope.” 

"You're really not going to watch me perform tonight?"

"Not a chance." 

Naruto stood up and glared at Sasuke. He stared back deadpan. He didn’t understand at all the rules of a relationship, and maybe Itachi was right, the relationship with Sasuke wasn’t healthy at all...because it was Naruto who was sick. He didn’t say another word, and neither did Sasuke, and he left the room feeling even more capricious than when he woke up. He didn't expect Sasuke to go as far as to not attend at all. It was the first time he felt like he was going to cry. His breathing increased. His vision blurred and became pinpricks of tunnel vision. His chest ached and each breath felt forced as if somebody was squeezing his lungs. He leaned against the wall panting.

His mind turned dark. An infrared filter in his black and white life. 

There was something inherently wrong with him. Something broken and unfixable since he was still wet from birth. He didn’t know why he often did the things he did or say the things he said. The feelings he felt in this moment were boiled down and hardened. He clutched his hand into a fist and slammed it up against the wall. He was going to derive sexual pleasure from putting the collar around Gaara’s neck and tugging the leash, because there was no way he was going to lose. His thoughts turned darker until he was thinking of stripping the redhead and making him stand on all fours and lick his shoes. He shook his head and tried to rid his mind of such thoughts.

*****

“Naruto!”

A voice called his name and a strong hand shook his shoulder. He blinked and looked up to see Kiba. 

“Dude are you ready...we’re up next. Get your shit together and stop spacing out, because if we lose, after this last week of hell I’m kicking your ass.” 

Naruto grabbed his water bottle and took another drink. He was finally getting the moisture back in his mouth. He unzipped the black hoodie to reveal the green striped t-shirt over a white long-sleeved shirt. Kiba smirked and nodded his head in approval. 

“Check you out wearing a shirt that actually fits. I'm proud of you dude.”

“Fuck off,” Naruto laughed. Kiba ruffled Naruto’s hair, making it more tousled and wild, “There...now you’re a perfect carbon copy of Mr. Cobain. Just don’t shoot yourself in the face with a rifle. K?” 

“Please...we all know Courtney Love murdered him.” 

“Are you ready for the biggest ‘fuck you’ our class has ever seen?”

"Fuck yes!"

Naruto was feeling excitement, and that feeling exploded the moment he stepped out onto the stage. It was a large auditorium and the stage lights beat down hot and blinding. He looked out into the crowd, and all he saw were black masses. Outlines of humans but he couldn’t be sure. None were discernible, and maybe it was for the best. 

“So...how’s everyone doing tonight?” Naruto asked his mouth against the microphone. He was really testing the sound. His voice crackled and he turned his attention to stage right. There was quick movement to readjust the cords and Naruto turned his attention back to the masses. 

“Naruto I love you!” he heard a girl’s voice screaming out his name.

He smirked and straightened out the microphone positioning it so that it was at the perfect angle for his height. He cleared his voice and spoke again through the microphone. He was going to make sure every piece of sound equipment was perfect. Naruto strummed a few chords and nodded his head as the sound came out clear and crisp.

“Testing...one...two...three...Ah~perfect...now let’s see if I remember how this starts.” 

There was laughter coming from the masses. Naruto turned around, his back to the audience, and his eyes focused on Kiba. The brunette gave him a nod of encouragement. Naruto began the opening guitar riff. An iconic beginning that launched Nirvana to the top of the charts, and catapulted the Seattle music scene from coast to coast. A song that was instantaneously recognized around the world in the first few chords. The audience went silent. Kiba joined in on the drums. Naruto turned back around and pressed his mouth to the microphone and began to sing verse one. 

The song was reminiscent of the Pixies going from soft and quiet to loud and hard. It was the perfect genre that Naruto felt most comfortable playing. Listening to his own voice through the speakers sent goosebumps to flare up on his flesh. It was raspy, gravely, with just the right amount of grunge. The foul mood he felt all day dissipated. He let go of everything that was holding him down on earth and spread his arms out and jumped. Losing himself in the song. 

The pre-chorus hit and Kiba joined in singing along with Naruto; emphasizing and amplifying the meaning of the song. When the chorus hit Naruto kicked it up a notch. He moved around more. He used the vast space that was given. Jumped up and down and exaggerated his facial expressions with every annunciation of the words. He heard the crowd erupting into cheers and applause. He heard others singing along. He saw movement in the black masses. They weren’t just sitting down. They were standing up. Waving their hands in the air. Dancing. 

It was in that moment when he heard Sasuke’s voice asking him who he thought of when he sang. The honest truth was he didn’t think of anyone in particular. Instead his brain filled up with images of the past, mixed with a cacophony of emotions. Sure. Of course he’d think of Sasuke now. He lied to Sasuke at the time, and told him he sometimes thought of him when he sang, but now that lie turned into reality. Here he was thinking about Sasuke and the bastard wasn’t even here to see him perform. What a rotten fucking boyfriend he had. He was going to perform for Sasuke whether or not he was here to see him perform or if he was sulking at home. Just to show him. That fucker. He was going to sing for Uchiha Sasuke. 

Naruto sang with the voice of a new generation. Raw. Unadulterated. Unfiltered. Complete and absolute. He continued moving around the stage. He hit every chord at exactly the right moment, and Kiba accompanied him, with every beat of the drum in perfect unison. There wasn’t a single mistake. Naruto returned back to the microphone and sang the last chorus with every drop of emotion, and poured every ounce of energy he had left into it. So much was spilled out he thought there was going to be nothing left by the end of the song. Just a memory. 

Both Kiba and Naruto delivered the beginning of the outro and whereas Kiba’s voice faded out, the music cut, and Naruto delivered ‘a denial’ three more times; acapella style. Then there was silence. A few seconds passed. Followed by a huge eruption of applause. It vibrated through his body. He felt a droplet of sweat rolling down his face. He felt weak-kneed, as if one wrong move, and he’d collapse. He was completely and utterly drained. 

He flashed his award winning smile and raised his hand before exiting stage left.

*****

In the back of the auditorium nearest the exit stood Sasuke. He was speechless. He was wearing his glasses and dressed down in a long sleeved shirt and sweatpants. He decided to come last minute, and left the house without properly changing into something more presentable. Unlike everyone else in the auditorium, he wasn’t cheering, he remained surprised and taken aback. Sakura was besides him. She was screaming loudly. Ear-splitting screaming, clapping, and jumping up and down. Enough for the both of them. He thought his ears were going to bleed. She turned to see Sasuke’s disheartened expression and immediately stopped.

“What’s wrong?”

“I...wanted him to lose.”

Sakura's eyes widened, only it wasn't because of what Sasuke said but who was standing next to Sasuke. 

“My-oh-my, what a nasty thing for you to say otouto,” a familiar voice interrupted. Sasuke turned to see Itachi leaning up against the wall, arms folded, and shaking his head disapprovingly back and forth. "Isn't a boyfriend supposed to be supportive and encouraging?"


	13. Darling so it goes some things are meant to be

#  **Darling so it goes some things are meant to be**

 

All families have secrets, and some families harbor darker secrets than others. The Uchiha’s didn’t just have skeletons in their closets; they had rotting, bloated, corpses and each corpse was decimated -tortured- with depraved indifference. There were secrets that the clan as a whole knew about and kept quiet, then, there were secrets that were at the individual level, and there were some secrets Sasuke didn’t know at the time, but it was revealed to him later. 

Such as: when Naruto was five years old he climbed onto the kitchen counter and grabbed a knife; and pointed it at Mikoto and Fugaku. It was something they could laugh at now, but at the time it was frightening. Or that Naruto caught Shisui masturbating, and he threatened to call the police on Shisui. Naruto, candidly, shared the memory a few years ago and laughed as he explained the situation. Then there were secrets Sasuke felt like they’d never be revealed. Because revealing the memory would mean reliving the memory, and reliving the memory would mean having to re-experience that event (traumatic?) over and over again. 

Naruto and Sasuke didn’t share many secrets, but he _knew_ , Naruto and Itachi shared a lot of secrets; an insurmountable amount. It was uncomfortable. The relationship between Naruto and Itachi made Sasuke feel uncomfortable. No, it was more than being uncomfortable it was excruciating, intensely agonizing, it caused him immense mental pain. It’s been this way since Naruto was ten years old and he stopped devoting all his time and energy on Itachi, and refocused it on Sasuke. 

Sasuke was jealous of Naruto and Itachi’s relationship. First he thought he was jealous because Naruto had taken Itachi’s attention away from him, but it became clear, Sasuke was jealous because Itachi was taking Naruto’s attention away from him. Even now he heard Sakura’s voice, ‘ _Hey if he can’t have Itachi you’re the second best choice._ ’ 

Sometimes, when Naruto was with Sasuke and Itachi’s name was brought up it looked like he was on the verge of sharing some of those secrets with Sasuke, but it never came to fruition, and Sasuke was too chicken shit to come straight out and ask. Instead Sasuke tried to pretend that nothing was happening and that it was all in his imagination. He chose to live in ignorance. Seeing no evil. Hearing no evil. Speaking no evil. 

_However_. There was _one_ secret that was revealed to Sasuke, and the blonde said it so nonchalantly it was almost purposeful. Naruto and Itachi had been living together for months, and thinking about it...the reality was...Naruto probably never moved into his own apartment at all, and moved in with Itachi from the start. 

Sasuke knew something occurred between Naruto and Itachi four years ago; and that something -incident- may or may not have involved Izumi. Sasuke was not privy to the secret. He wasn’t a participant, just a passerby, and thus left locked outside in the dark. Whatever happened; it was enough to warrant Mikoto and Fugaku moving Itachi into the college dormitories when he was seventeen years old. When Itachi visited he was, heavily, supervised -chaperoned- by Mikoto, and as a result his visits became few and far between. 

Sasuke tried asking Naruto what had happened. The only thing he said was that Itachi was dating Izumi. Sasuke recounted the days, weeks, months following up to the b r e a k i n g p o i n t: Naruto running away. The blonde’s behavior became more _erratic_ , more _manic_ , and more _impulsive_. Then. One day. Naruto was gone. He vanished. For days. His whereabouts were: u n k n o w n. When the police found him he was in an undisclosed location, and refused to come home. Everything was said behind closed doors. Mikoto and Fugaku moved Itachi into the dormitories, and the next day, Naruto returned. After, nobody talked about it...ever again. 

Since then, there has been a rift between Sasuke and his older brother. Itachi rubbed him the wrong way. Like tectonic plates locking together, when they were in the same room, friction was built up and energy released causing earthquakes or volcanic eruptions; or in their case, heated altercations. It was a fitting metaphor nonetheless. Seeing his brother put him on edge. He became hypervigilant. Sasuke wasn’t sure what Itachi he was going to get today, whether it was his older brother, or a foreign spirit possessing his brother.

“What are you doing here?” Sasuke asked suspiciously. There was something about Itachi that made Sasuke feel completely and utterly inadequate, and it left Sasuke feeling like he would always feel this way for the rest of his life. It filled him with dread and hopelessness. 

“I’m here to support Naruto. He made such a big deal about not wanting me here...that of course~I knew he wanted me here. So, voilà, I am here,” Itachi answered in such an emotionless voice it was almost comical. He held his hands out in emphasis. His brother was wearing a black turtleneck, and tight leather pants. He looked like a caricature of an artist. 

“I need to talk to you, alone,” Sasuke said brusquely. Now was his chance. To finally ask Itachi what his intentions are with Naruto. “Let’s go outside.” 

Itachi’s eyes were glazed over. Although he was physically in the auditorium, mentally, he wasn’t. Sasuke called it slipping. Itachi had slipped between the cracks of reason and rationality, and sometimes when he slipped he took Naruto with him. If Itachi was not himself he didn’t want him near Naruto, and it was all the more reason to force Itachi to leave. 

That reminded Sasuke. During the time before the b r e a k i n g p o i n t . The same time Naruto exhibited hypomanic episodes, Itachi, was also afflicted and seemed to experience his own break in reality. _Folie à deux,_. It was a chaotic time. Sasuke was sure Itachi was to blame for all of Naruto’s behaviors. They had been spending so much time together it had become harmful. Sasuke wondered if they were purposely making each other sick to see just how bad the other would become. They fed off each other until everything erupted and painted everything in black.

“Itachi?” Sasuke asked sternly. There was no response. “Itachi!”

“Did you feel it?”

“Feel what?”

“Naruto’s performance...there was this intense feeling like achieving the highest state of happiness that transports you to another world of infinite possibilities, where anything was possible, and you mattered, and are loved, that you had purpose. That you are destined for greatness. His voice was like injecting heroin for the first time. His voice instilled that into your very soul, and even though he stopped singing, and you are coming down from that high and those endorphins left you vulnerable and desolate...you know...you know everything is going to be okay, because if you heard his voice again, heard him singing...that you’d reach that state again, and it is all worth it to hear his voice again.” 

Itachi spoke like an artist describing one of his masterpieces. There was a congenial smile spreading his lips and it looked like he was on the brink of climaxing. It unnerved Sasuke and he felt disgusted. His brother was a tortured artist. A genius. A travesty. A black spot on this world. And he didn’t want him near Naruto. He shuddered. 

Sasuke was speechless and he glanced at Sakura. He needed another witness. She glanced back at Sasuke and nodded her head reassuringly. The glaze over Itachi’s eyes was lifted. The fog lifted.

“Tell me, otouto. Why did you want Naruto to lose?”

Sasuke didn’t answer. He felt Sakura shift besides him. He froze like a thief in floodlights. Itachi pulled out his cellphone and continued. 

“I’ll tell you what...you don’t have to answer. I know why you want to talk to me alone, but that isn’t going to clear the doubts you’re having about my relationship with Naruto. So let’s play a game. We’ll both call Naruto...and whoever he answers is the person he really wants to talk with.” 

There was a lump forming in the back of Sasuke’s throat. His mouth became parched. His stomach flopped. His glasses rolled down the bridge of his nose. He felt himself shrink. He stared back in disbelief by Itachi’s explanation of this ‘game’. It made him feel even more inadequate. He didn’t want to play this game. He didn’t want to find out the answer. 

“Fine,” Sasuke agreed angrily. He didn’t want to play this game. He pulled out his cellphone and glanced at Itachi. His older brother was already bringing his phone to his ear. He didn’t want to play this game. Sasuke dialed Naruto’s number and with shaky hands brought the phone to his ear. He heard the ringing. He didn’t want to play this game! 

“Hello, Naruto?” 

It was Itachi’s voice and Sasuke felt his stomach drop through an elevator shaft. He felt the blood drain from his face. He felt a cold chill. His hands clammy. He felt dizzy. The world felt like it was collapsing all around him. It was then when the ringing in Sasuke's ear stopped. The phone connected and Sasuke heard Naruto’s voice on the other line. “Hello?” Sasuke said in a state of shock. Itachi pulled the phone away and revealed to Sasuke that he hadn’t called Naruto at all. It was just the homepage. It was all a lie. 

“Sasuke?” Naruto’s voice greeted, and by the way he said it Sasuke knew he was smiling. He found himself smiling just hearing his voice. Naruto’s voice was filled with glee, happiness, he could feel the warmth. Sasuke wanted to see Naruto, no, he needed to see him right now. 

“H-hey…” Sasuke answered. He walked out of the auditorium and into the hallway. He didn’t know what to say. His mind was blank. His eyes focused on the floor as he moved down the hallway walking in no particular direction. Naruto filled the silence with his voice, and Sasuke was grateful. 

“Bakayaro! You really did miss my performance. It was probably the best performance of my life. And if I win, I’ll never let you live it down. I won’t. I promise. Even on my last dying breath I’ll remind you that you missed it, and then I'll haunt you even in the afterlife.”

“Heh. So dramatic. I hate to break it to you, but, I didn’t miss it.”

“What?”

“I’m here...I saw you…” 

“What?”

“I said I’m here, usuratonkachi!” 

“Where are you?” 

“Meet me in the student council room.”

“Okay, be there in five.”

*****

Sasuke was the first to reach the student council room. He didn’t bother turning the lights on in the room. He wanted to be discrete. The lights were on in the hallway and it bathed the room in a mercury-vapor gas-discharge. He spun around when the door was opened and Naruto appeared. The blonde was panting. There were no verbal words exchanged. What they wanted was understood at first glance.

The space between them vanished. Within seconds they were intertwined and in a frantic, hurried, kiss. He felt Naruto’s tongue entering his mouth. He felt himself physically melting against the blonde. His arms wrapped around his waist and his fingers slipped under his shirt where felt the sharp bones of his hips jutting against his skin. He buried his nails into his soft skin and jerked his body closer to him. His mind emptied of all thoughts, and in its place there were explosions of color. Peach. Pink. Red. 

Sasuke pulled away and pushed Naruto up against his desk. The class president's desk. Naruto sat down, legs dangling over the edge, and Sasuke positioned himself between those legs. He pressed his lips against Naruto’s neck. It caused the blonde to curl his head and his shoulder raised in response as Sasuke trailed kisses down his neck. The taste of Naruto’s skin was salty and he allowed it to marinate in his mouth before swallowing. 

“What did you think...of it…” Naruto asked breathlessly. 

“You were...okay…”

“Just okay?” Naruto balked. Sasuke pulled away and looked down at Naruto and tugged playfully on the hem of his shirt.

“You’re wearing a shirt that fits you. It’s nice.”

“Shaddyup~! Look at you with your glasses and sweatpants. I've never seen you look so frumpy, you look...dowdy...” 

Sasuke pressed his mouth to Naruto’s and silenced him. He felt Naruto arch his back and his head tilted upwards his arms supporting him from behind. Sasuke’s hands went to the button on Naruto’s jeans and he unfastened it. 

“Wait...we can’t...here…!” Naruto’s voice filled with panic and he pulled away. It surprised Sasuke that he was showing restraint. He'd thought Naruto would be all over it. 

“Why not?”

“Because what if we’re caught…” 

“Hmm…says the boy who tagged every wall in the town and is chased by police monthly, is afraid of being caught” Sauske smirked. His fingers slipped under the band of Naruto’s briefs. “Well that’s a shame…” Sasuke whispered in Naruto’s ear. “Because I really wanna, but we don't have to. I'm not going to make you do something you don't wanna do.” 

“What’s got you all hot and bothered?” Naruto asked.

“You. I've missed you, and I don't want us to fight anymore.”

Naruto looked around the student council office, at the door and into the hallway. Once he concluded the likelihood of somebody happening by them was slim he turned back back to Sasuke, and revealed a perverted smile. He grabbed Sasuke’s shirt, pulled him down, and kissed him on the lips, simultaneously, wiggling himself out of his jeans. Sasuke’s hands went to the bulge of Naruto’s briefs and he began to massage his member. He kneeled down and nuzzled his nose up to the fabric and he could feel the warmth of his penis beneath the cotton. He kissed the bulge and he could feel Naruto tensing up. 

“Don’t tease me...S’ske…”

“You’re hard already.”

“Teme…bakayaro...”

“I love it when you speak Japanese.” 

Sasuke pressed his mouth on the inside of Naruto’s thigh and began to suck. It caused Naruto to jerk his leg in reflex, but he grabbed hold of it, and steadied it. Sasuke pressed his mouth further up his thigh in a kiss, and then pressed his mouth even further until they bordered the lining of his briefs. Sasuke began to massage the bulge with his hand as his mouth began to show Naruto’s other thigh attention. The blonde was breathing heavily through his mouth. It was an enthralling sound.

“Ne...Sasuke…”

“Mhm.”

“Are we serious? You’re my first real relationship. Ino and I...we were both just lonely and being together and having sex...it didn’t stop my loneliness, and it didn’t stop hers. It was just...something to do to fill the void. The same with all the others. I was still lonely. But I don’t feel so lonely with you. It's different with you.” 

Sasuke pulled Naruto’s briefs down unsheathing his erect member. Sasuke pushed himself up, and placed his hands on either side of Naruto. He leaned down so that he could stare directly into those iceberg blue eyes. Those blue hues that could sink a ship and kill hundreds. They appeared softer tonight. There was vulnerability, something he hadn't sensed in Naruto in a long time, and Sasuke couldn’t stop himself. He could could on one hand the number of times that Naruto showed his vulnerable side. He was kissing Naruto again. He wanted him to be reassured. Sasuke broke away and asked.

“Do you know what being serious means?”

“No.” 

“It means. I belong only to you and you belong only to me. It means being faithful to one person...it means taking the other person’s feelings into consideration. Once you start thinking about the other person and how your actions will impact them. It means seeing a future with that person and building a life together. That's what it means when you're serious.”

“Are you serious.”

“I am. Are you?”

“I don’t know…is that, okay?”

“It’s most definitely okay, Naruto. Don’t force yourself and don’t worry. I don't want you to lie to me, and I don't want you to say something you don't mean. Promise?”

"I promise." 

Naruto threw his arms around his neck and began to kiss Sasuke. It was a deep kiss. Passionate. The taste of Naruto’s mouth was his new favorite flavor. He pulled Naruto’s shirt off and continued kissing him. This time it was different and he was trying to find the words to describe it. Naruto was pulling his clothes off. Sasuke felt affection on Naruto’s end every time their lips met. It wasn’t just lust...there was something else. He was trying to say something. He was saying both 'thank you', and 'I'm sorry'. He found it so simple reading Naruto. 

“Don’t...you don’t have to apologize...I’m sorry,” Sasuke whispered hoarsely. 

“No...I...never should have kicked you out of the band. You should have been up on that stage with me...it should have been you and me together. The whole time I was on stage all I thought about was you.”

Sasuke felt himself turn red; like a crushed tomato. Naruto licked his hand, gliding his tongue from his palm all the way to his finger tips. He wrapped them around his own penis and Sasuke’s. He looked down. Sasuke’s penis was bigger than Naruto's. He exhaled. Naruto began to pump them both and he felt himself tense up. He moved his index and middle finger to Naruto’s mouth, and the blonde opened up. He began sucking on his fingers and when Sasuke pulled away they were dripping in his hot saliva. The insides of Naruto's body was always burning hot as if he was constantly running a temperature. 

“Naruto...are you...”

Naruto nodded his head. Sasuke positioned his fingers outside Naruto’s anus. He pressed in and began opening up. 

“Ngn...Ah….S’ske…”

His fingers slipped easily inside Naruto. 

“Wait...let me change positions. I want you from behind.” 

Naruto stood up and moved around. Sasuke bent Naruto over the desk. His hands went out to steady himself. Sasuke positioned himself behind and began thrusting. Naruto’s body jerked up against the desk and he steadied himself. Sasuke watched as Naruto's fingers spread out against the desk. With each thrust the desk jerked beneath their weight, and Naruto pushed back against Sasuke until Sasuke was all the way inside. The feeling caused Sasuke's mind to turn numb and vibrate as the pleasure part of his brain filled up with endorphins.

“Ah...ah...harder…” Naruto breathed straightening his hands out and moving his hips back and forth against Sasuke's cock. 

That was the only way Naruto wanted it. Hard and fast and from behind. Sasuke complied. He’d make the blonde slow down, be tender, and gentle at another time. He eventually wanted Naruto to know they could do it other ways and not just rough. Sasuke began to increase his speed, and it must have shocked Naruto, because the blonde collapsed forward his face pressed against the wood of the desk; moaning. He could feel Naruto tightened his muscles around Sasuke and pull him in deeper. He didn't want Naruto flopped over his desk. It looked too pornographic. He wanted to be more intimate with him.

Sasuke picked one of Naruto’s legs up, and held it up so that he had a better angel. Naruto was forced to lean back and up against Sasuke for support; otherwise he was going to fall over. He balanced awkwardly on one leg while Sasuke held firmly to his other leg. Sasuke licked Naruto’s cheek as he thrust himself back inside. It was the right position because Naruto's moaning grew louder; and it caused Sasuke to blush even more profusely. He found it. His cock hit against Naruto’s prostate. It didn't stop him. Instead Naruto's voice moaning his name intensified every thing to the highest degree.

"S'ske...S'ske...ah....ah...yes..."

Sasuke’s wrapped his hand around to Naruto’s jaw, moving the blonde’s head to the side where he greeted his mouth with his. He wanted to be more intimate with him. The blonde hesitated at first but twisted his body so that they could kiss without strain. Naruto’s arms held on Sasuke’s for added support. They were the same height and similar weight. Both lean and muscular. Sasuke loved every inch of Naruto’s body and wanted to slide his tongue on every part of him. Another time. The pressure was building. Like shaking up a coca cola and just before he opened the can Naruto exhaled. 

“S’ske...I...really...like you…”

Sasuke couldn’t speak. His mind went completely white. The pleasure that had built up exploded like fireworks. 

“Baka…coming again without me...” Naruto breathed as soon as Sasuke let go of him and he collapsed to the floor. The blonde was panting his eyes half-lidded. His face flushed. Sweat slicked his body. 

“Gomen!” Sasuke whispered and bent down ready to apologize again, those feelings of inadequacy filling him up once more, but he was greeted by Naruto’s mouth. He wasn't really mad.

He helped Naruto get back on his feet and pushed him on the desk. Sasuke took all of Naruto into his mouth and began to suck. Sasuke may have been bigger than Naruto, but...to Sasuke Naruto had the perfect size cock. The Goldilocks of cocks. He performed fellatio on the blonde. He forgot to breathe and his brain was screaming for Sasuke to take a breath. He wasn’t even sure if he was any good at giving head, and was second guessing himself, and then...

“Ah~!” Naruto cried out and Sasuke’s mouth filled up with his cum. Sasuke swallowed without thinking and pulled away coughing. He was forcing air back into his lungs and Naruto collapsed back on the desk his chest rising and falling.

*****

The crowd demanded on encore when Naruto and Kiba were called to the stage to receive the first place prize. Naruto was late. He heard his name being repeated through the speakers. 'Calling for Uzumaki Naruto...Naruto, please come on stage.' Kiba was already standing awkwardly on the stage when Naruto appeared. He felt drained in every aspect of the definition. His energy was used up first gradually and then completely. He walked out onto the stage and his legs felt wobbly, he smirked, well, he knew why his legs were wobbly.

"Late as always," Kiba remarked and shoved Naruto playfully on the shoulder. It caused the blonde to stumble and he almost fell over. 

The crowd continued to scream for an encore. The first place trophy was placed into Naruto's hand, and the comically large check for $500 was given to Kiba. Naruto looked into the audience and smiled. He didn't want to sing. His mouth felt dry. His body spent. His energy levels dipped into the negatives. Something caught his eye in the first row. Sitting front and center was Itachi. His legs crossed, arms folded, and staring up at Naruto. They locked eyes. 

"What do you say dude? Up for another song? The crowd is demanding an encore," Kiba said swinging an arm around his neck. The added weight caused Naruto to stumble again. He didn't want to sing. Currently at this point in time he had cum leaking out of his asshole. He could barely stand and he was afraid, if he opened his mouth, he'd lose his voice. He wanted to go home and bathe, and crawl into bed. He couldn't stop staring at Itachi. It angered him. Left him flustered. Made him confused. His heart quickened. He broke eye contact.

"Dude, snap outta it!" Kiba demanded spinning Naruto around. 

"I need water," Naruto said hoarsely. 

"Then encore?"

"Mhm."

Naruto stepped up to the microphone and adjusted it he cleared his throat and looked out into the audience, "So...I'm hearing ya'll want an encore?"

The audience screamed in praise and ecstasy. A stage member was putting a bottle of water into his hands. He opened it and chugged half the bottle. "Alright-alright-alright," Naruto said rolling his shoulders and moving around the stage. The stage members were already plugging Naruto's 1989 gibson in and handing it to him. Naruto looked to see Kiba positioned at the drums, sticks in hand, and in midair as if ready to drop the beat at any second. Naruto took another chug of water, emptying it. He fastened the cap back on and threw it on the stage. He was beginning to feel better. The water was reviving him. 

His eyes refocused on Itachi in the front row. He was sitting in the spot that should have been reserved for Sasuke. He looked back in the crowd. He couldn't make him out. Naruto sauntered back up to the microphone. He leaned in low and said.

"Hey! Is this thing on?"

Naruto began playing the chords. E power chord. A power chord. B power chord. Repeat. Naruto began singing 'I Love Rock and Roll.' His voice was strained, it was tired sounding, more raspy, deeper. It was an Amy Winehouse, Fiona Apple, mixed with Kurt Cobain. The more he sang the more husky his voice became. Although he still delivered a stage performance. He had turned on every single female in the audience and he heard the crowd eating it up. Just like when he sang alongside Gaara during lunch in the band room. He was catering to their sexual fantasies and he loved it. He was deriving more energy from it the more he thought about it. 

His eyes kept focusing back to Itachi. In the front row. He wasn't supposed to be here. He was here on purpose. There was a reason, and Naruto knew whatever that reason was it wasn't good. Itachi here was a bad omen. He felt his heart beat irregularly. He couldn't stop looking at him. When he finished the song he was breathing erratically. He thought he was going to faint. He felt sweat rolling down his face. 

The rest of the night mixed together in a whirl of smells, faces, places, and sped up music. He remembered running into Mikoto. She was crying and held onto him sobbing that she was so proud of him. Sasuke was there and pried Mikoto away from Naruto. Sasuke said goodbye to Naruto and left with Mikoto. Naruto wanted Sasuke to invite him to stay the night, but he didn’t. He didn’t want Sasuke to go, but he didn’t speak up, and said goodbye to him. His chest ached when he left. He just wanted to go home. He remembered speaking briefly with Ino, Kiba, and Sakura. He was so exhausted, he thought, if he closed his eyes he was going to go to sleep. He needed to escape, and he left without telling anyone he was leaving. Just disappearing.

Naruto pushed the door of the loft apartment open. He stumbled in and began kicking off his shoes holding onto the door for support. His underwear was completely saturated with Sasuke's cum. He needed a fucking shower. Now. He felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end, and he jerked his head up. He slammed the door shut behind him. He felt anger welling up. He felt his eyes grow wider and his pupils constricting. 

"Naruto-kun!" Izumi voice echoed. "I heard you were looking for me!"


	14. Dans tout Paris, je m’abandonne

#  **Dans tout Paris, je m’abandonne**

 

Sasuke glanced at his cell phone for the umptenth time. He was growing steadily worried with each passing minute he hadn’t heard from Naruto. The last three text message he sent, over the last three days, to Naruto were left unread. He sent one Friday night 11:33PM: ‘Are you home, or did you go out?’’. He sent one Saturday 10:25AM: ‘What are your plans today did you want to do something?’ And then one Sunday 7:30PM: ‘What’s going on why aren’t you answering me?’. The last text message felt stupid and needy and he immediately regretted it. 

The other had his read receipts on. It wasn’t the first time that Naruto didn’t read his text messages, and didn’t respond, and it wasn’t completely unheard of that he left Sasuke on read. Naruto wasn’t one to constantly be on his phone like the rest of their classmates, and would leave it at home, or accidentally leaving it at Kiba’s, or forgotten in his locker. Yet the blonde did have his phone in hand when Sasuke said goodbye to him Friday night. 

He had a notorious track record and there was no indication that this was any different, except, there was an unsettling feeling in the pit of his stomach, and it wasn’t going away. A premonition that something bad happened, or was happening, or was going to happen. The hairs on the back of his neck stood on end and his skin felt itchy and uncomfortable. It felt like stones filled his stomach and were crashing against each other as his stomach churned, dumping stomach bile in to digest the obstruction, and giving him acid reflux.

Monday morning, after his first class, Sasuke was checking the attendance in the main office, he checked again after his second class, and then a final time after his third class. The results were the same. Uzumaki Naruto was marked as an unexcused absence. He picked up his phone and called Naruto. After several rings it went to voicemail. Sasuke left a generic voicemail asking why he wasn’t in school, he tried to be lighthearted, but it was difficult, and the worry tinged and cracked his voice. Before he was cut off, in a softer voice, he requested, please, to return his call...or at least send him a text message to let him know he was okay.

Sasuke spoke to Ino and Kiba during lunch. Neither heard from the blonde all weekend, and not for the lack of trying. Both had reached out to him in one way or another and it was radio silent on his end. Again, not completely unheard of. They too were left on read, or their calls went to voicemail. Naruto didn’t go out to celebrate with Kiba Friday night. He had disappeared shortly after Sasuke left, and they both assumed he went home. 

His stomach became raucous and he felt nauseous. He could feel the stomach acid running up his esophagus. He lost his appetite. Didn’t eat all day. Couldn’t. If he did he would puke. Sasuke tried to explain things away: he was sick, he was cutting school, he was at the skate park...or he was finally caught tagging a wall and was sitting down at the precinct demanding a lawyer. Any would have been a valid explanation but…. 

Sasuke found himself outside Itachi’s apartment banging on the door and calling out Naruto’s name. The door swung open, and it was neither Itachi, and it was neither Naruto who appeared...it was Mikoto.

“Sasuke!” Mikoto cried out. Mom? Her teary eyes were bloodshot, her face drained of all blood and color, and her body shaking. Sasuke’s eyes widened, his pupils shrank, and before she could say anything else he was interrupting, no he was demanding his voice becoming shrill, “Where’s Naruto?!”

“Naruto’s...gone...he ran away…!” Mikoto cried and wrapped her arms around his neck pulling him into a hug. He could smell her faint perfume. Sasuke’s eyes trailed to the black, spiral staircase, that lead up to the loft. Itachi was in the apartment, sitting on the couch, and giving a statement to the detective across from him Sasuke immediately recognized as Obito. 

“You~!” Sasuke roared and he jerked himself from his mother, and rounded on his older brother. The older man turned to stare at him just as Sasuke’s fist connected with his jaw. An explosion of pain erupted over his hand. It made a sickening sound. Everything happened so fast. Sasuke shoved his brother to the floor, and everything blurred in a whirl of fists, and blows, and blood, and saliva, and red...everything came out in the color of b l o o d. Everything was unleashed onto Itachi and he went wild. 

“THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!” Sasuke was screaming over and over at his brother. Obito was the one peeling Sasuke off. He was on autopilot. He couldn’t stop himself from kicking, punching, his hands running through empty air, and attempting to dislodge himself from his uncle’s death grip. He was seething, he was seeing red, and he wanted to kill Itachi. He was going to kill him. 

“I know you’re upset but this isn’t going to find Naruto,” Obito was saying as he held Sasuke and dragged him backwards. 

Sasuke’s black eyes were fixed on Itachi. His brother’s swollen face was smeared in blood and spit. A busted lip. A black eye. A crooked nose that gushed red liquid. Itachi was slowly picking himself from the floor. His brother remained quiet, stoic, pleading the fifth, and it only infuriated Sasuke even more. The secrets spilled from his mouth. He wasn’t covering for him anymore. 

“It’s his fault! He did something! He came Friday night, he did something to Naruto! Mom~tell him! Tell him what he did to Naruto back when he was thirteen! Tell him what he did and why you kicked him out of the house,” Sasuke was screaming. 

“Sasuke just calm down…” Obito interjected. 

“No!”

He had a clear and distinct memory at the end of fifth grade when Naruto didn’t return home until late. Naruto verbalized how upset he was with having Itachi pick him up from school everyday, pointing out that Itachi was obsessed with him, and wouldn’t leave him alone. Sasuke was in the kitchen, hiding, crouching down and listening. What Mikoto said next stuck to Sasuke, stayed with him to this day, and lingered like a bad stench he couldn’t get rid of. She asked him if Itachi ever touched him. Why would she say that if she didn’t already have her suspicions? 

It was happening all over again. Naruto had ran away like he did when he was thirteen. The last time he was missing for two weeks before the police found him. Sasuke should have asked Naruto when he returned to them, cornered him, and interrogated him until he spilled everything on where he was, who he was with, and what he was doing for those two weeks. Instead the only thing Naruto said was that Itachi and Izumi were dating, and Sasuke stopped asking questions. Remained quiet. Accepting everything at face value. 

“Tell him mom!” Sasuke snarled and he pointed accusingly at Itachi. “Tell him why you kicked him out of the house when Itachi was seventeen! Tell him what he did to Naruto!”

“I...don’t...know what happened....Naruto refused to return home if Itachi was still there…” Mikoto whimpered. Her words unsure. It only perpetuated Sasuke’s anger. The wishy-washy nature of his mother. 

“Naruto has been living with Itachi this whole time! Why did you agree to let him move out?!” Sasuke screamed. He was shifting the blame from his brother to Mikoto. She was supposed to be the parent. She was supposed to protect Sasuke and Naruto. They were still kids...still teenagers. She never should have agreed to allowing Naruto to move out. He’s a goddamn kid just like Sasuke is. 

“I…”

“Did you know!?” 

“I…”

“DID YOU?!” 

Mikoto was sobbing, shoulders sagging, clear snot rolling down her face. It was the same response he had witnessed from the time he could remember. Over and over again. Becoming so upset she had simply shut down. There was a weakness to her, a fragility, that once cracked was no fixing it anytime soon. She broke into bits and pieces, like a shattered mirror of herself, collapsing to her knees, both hands covering her mouth, and eyes focused straight in front of her but she wasn’t seeing anything. 

It was the first time that Sasuke looked at his mother with disgust, and he verbally attacked her. 

“This is your fault! For allowing Naruto to move out, for allowing Naruto to move in with him...you didn’t protect him at all! You still kept that monster around and now look! He’s gone!” 

“Sasuke that is enough!” Obito screamed and spun Sasuke around and slammed him up against the wall. Before Sasuke could say anything the apartment door opened and in came his father, dressed in his police blues, a worried expression on his face. It was the same expression Sasuke saw him wearing the first time. He felt relief. His dad would know what to do. He had to. 

“Dad!” Sasuke called out. 

“Chrissakes...let him go,” Fugaku barked seeing Obito pressing Sasuke up against the wall. He was instantly released and Sasuke jerked himself away from Obito and approached his dad. Fugaku looked down to see his wife in a catatonic state on the floor; sobbing and hiccuping. 

“Dad...Itachi did something! Naruto and Itachi have been living together this whole time!” Sasuke confessed. 

“I...know. Naruto told me...”

“W-wha-?” 

There was another secret. Fugaku glanced at Itachi who was now standing up, his fingers pinching his nose, where an endless stream of blood poured down staining his face, neck, shirt. Itachi glanced at Fugaku and in a fraction of a second there was a...look. It was brief, but it was there. Another secret. This time shared between Fugaku, Itachi, and Naruto. Their eye contact was broke. An unspoken promise of silence. 

Sasuke narrowed his eyes demanding an answer. “What do you mean you know?”

“Naruto told me when he moved out,” Fugaku answered and avoided Sasuke’s eyes. He kneeled down to help Mikoto to her feet. Fugaku knew. Mikoto knew. Itachi knew. Everyone knew that Naruto was living with Itachi, and Sasuke was the last to know. He was speechless. Fugaku continued as he helped move Mikoto, “Come on...come on...let’s move to the couch. He’ll come back just like last time he’ll come back. Don’t worry.” 

Except. Naruto didn’t come back. Everything happened in slow motion. 

They were all questioned. One by one. They all gave statements. Itachi’s statement was the most suspicious and so full of holes it was like swiss cheese. He claimed that after the talent show he returned home and fell asleep. Liar. He alleges he never saw or spoke to Naruto, and when he woke up, Naruto wasn’t there. Liar. No. It didn’t make sense. Itachi was the one to report him missing. He knew more. He knew to go to the police right away. Itachi didn’t even reach out to Sasuke, or Ino, or Kiba, or any of Naruto’s friends first to see if he was with them...he went right to the police...right to Obito. Because he knew something. He knew and he was lying, had been lying, and will continue to lie to them all. 

The official police report indicated Naruto’s adidas bag was missing, some clothes, along with his laptop, and 1989 Gibson. His cell phone was left behind. Discarded on the mattress that decorated the floor of his loft. He had just d i s a p p e a r e d….a g a i n leaving Sasuke behind.

*****

Sasuke collapsed onto Naruto’s bed in the loft. He buried his face in his pillow, and pulled the white comforter and sheets around him until he felt secure in his cocoon. He wanted to smother himself in Naruto’s smell. He began crying. The tears soaked into the pillow. He did the same thing when he was thirteen. He climbed into Naruto’s bed, and slept in his bed, every night, and the most horrifying thing happened- after a while his bed stopped smelling like Naruto all together. That thought sent him into sobs.

He was angry and upset with Naruto, because the other was off being selfish, off being spoiled, and off thinking only of himself. He wasn’t thinking about any of them, least of all, he wasn’t thinking of Sasuke. He stayed in Naruto’s bed the rest of the day, and all night, and the next day. He didn’t eat. He didn’t drink. Just a stupor of waking up and drifting off into a dreamless, erratic, sleep. He became catatonic.

*****

Sasuke was only convinced to leave Naruto’s bed when Fugaku appeared. He stated they were going to pack up all of Naruto’s things, together, and return them home. Take every last piece of his things out of Itachi’s room and back home with them. Sasuke helped his father pack up what little belongings Naruto had, what meaningless belongings, he left behind, wordlessly.

Sasuke came across the video camera still on it’s tripod. He turned it on and looked through the last thing that was recorded. Holding on to a sliver of hope that whatever was on it could hold a clue to his disappearance. Nope. Nada. Zilch. Instead the last thing recorded was Sasuke and Naruto sitting side by side. Sasuke playing the keyboard and Naruto singing a rendition of ‘paparazzi.’ The video caught sight of Sasuke turning to Naruto as he sings, fully immersed in his voice, and unconsciously leaning closer. Sasuke felt his eyes tear up again. He glared at his father’s back.

“Why?” Sasuke growled. “Why did you agree to allow Naruto to move in with Itachi?”

His father remained silent. They were the only ones in the apartment. Sasuke banished Itachi from the apartment and instead took over Naruto’s bed. He didn’t know where his brother went and hoped that he was lying dead in a gutter somewhere. His father cleared his throat.

“I had an affair...Naruto found out about it and… he blackmailed me...saying he would keep it a secret if I-if I let him move out, and in with Itachi.” 

It felt as if he got off the tilt-o-whirl. He felt dizzy and delirious. There was a sharp lump forming in the back of his throat, impossible to swallow, and it was growing larger and larger- blocking his airwaves. He felt himself choking on his tongue. His brain swirled with words of the emotions he was feeling but they were written in another language and he couldn’t comprehend. It was just a tornado of everything wretched and depraved and it threatened to destroy him from the inside out.

What. The. Fuck. Is. Going. On. 

“You piece of shit!” Sasuke screamed at his father. His father was having an affair, had an affair, and Naruto found out? Fugaku was aware and allowed Naruto, the lamb, to move out and in with Itachi, the predator? His chest hurt. His heart thwacked against his rib cage. Like a canary in a cage down in the deep depths of the coal mine. Screeching and flying around warning the miners of the carbon dioxide levels. Warning them of the impending death.

*****

Time became irrelevant.

There were pieces missing from Sasuke. Bits of his brain. Bits of his heart. Bits of his stomach. He felt like a walking corpse. Disheveled. Poor hygiene. Going through the motions of living, but not actually alive. He wasn’t just heartbroken. He was completely fucking devastated. Something that resembled Sasuke but it wasn’t really Sasuke. 

He didn’t know if Naruto was dead or alive...and with each passing day he was teetering on the former. He was dead. He stayed hidden longer than two weeks, because he was dead, longer than a month, because he was dead, longer than two months...three months, because he was dead. It was the only explanation. 

He was walking to school. The only sound he heard was the crunching of snow beneath his feet. He felt his cell phone vibrating. He ignored it. Let it go to voicemail. It stopped. He walked a few more feet. His cell phone began vibrating again. It felt like a heartbeat in his coat pocket. He took it out. An unknown caller. He pressed the cancel button angrily and sent it to voicemail. Stupid telemarketers. He thought about throwing away his cell phone, and he clutched it, thinking about just throwing it angrily into the road. He didn’t need it anymore. His phone lit up, and began vibrating. Again. An unknown caller. This time he answered it screaming.

“I don’t want anything! Stop calling me!” There was silence on the other end and Sasuke smiled satisfied and then-

“Sasuke?” it was Naruto’s voice. He felt like he was falling. Everything around him was perfectly still and Sasuke himself was free falling through nothingness. The ground beneath him vanished and he was plummeting down into…

“Naruto?” Sasuke exhaled. His breath came out wheezing and painful. Quick sharp inhales. 

“I...can’t come back…”

“Where are you calling from?”

“The police station.” 

“Where are you?”

“They picked me up in the city. I told them I’m not coming home. They’re going to bring me in front of a judge. They said because I’m underage I either have to go home or I’m going to a group home, and I’m going to tell them I’m not going home.” 

“Naruto please! You have to tell me what’s going on...I…’ Sasuke felt the tears spilling down his face. It was Naruto. Calling from beyond the grave. No, he was alive. Naruto was alive and he was talking to Sasuke. The tears froze hard against his cheeks instantly in the cold morning air. Leaving him shivering. “I...I need you here with me. Please...”

“I can’t be near Itachi...I can’t...I won’t anymore…I won’t.” 

“Please...just tell me what happened!” 

Sasuke could hear muffled voices on the other end. He envisioned Naruto covering the receiver with his hand and speaking to the officer. Naruto exhaled. His voice filled Sasuke up. Like a cup of hot tea. 

“I’m sorry Sasuke. I’m not coming back. I’m staying in the city. I have to go. My time’s up-”

“No! No! No! You don’t get to do this to me! Do you hear me, Naruto? You don’t get to just decide everything on your own! Naruto!”

“I’ll...call you again, okay? Next chance I get. I’ll call you.” 

“Wait please just tell me what happened!” Sasuke was in hysterics. Screaming into the receiver on the sidewalk. He didn’t care if he got dirty looks from the bystanders. 

There was a clicking noise. Then the dial tone. Naruto was disconnected. His time was up. He was picked up in the city. They knew he was a runaway. He was underage and a runaway. They gave him a choice. He could return home, or he was going to be put into a group home. He wasn’t coming home. He wasn’t returning because he didn’t want to be near Itachi. He was choosing to stay in the city, in some group home, with teenage delinquents instead of coming home, instead of coming back to Sasuke. His back collapsed up against a fence. His hand covering his mouth. He couldn’t stop shaking, couldn’t stop crying, couldn’t stop falling down...down...down... 

Naruto lied. He said he’d call. Well he did call. But it wasn’t for a while. It wasn’t as soon as he can like he said. He left large, insufferable, gaps of nothingness in his absence. He took with him the bits of Sasuke. The bits of his brain. The bits of his heart. The bits of his stomach. Took them and didn’t return and Sasuke felt himself coming undone and it was completely Naruto’s fault.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Thank you everyone who is reading and supporting me. Next chapters will be a time skip to everyone being 20-21. Also if anyone wants a Sakura/Ino chapter, let me know, and I'll dedicate a chapter to them.


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